A Series of Unfortunate Saturdays, Part the Fourth
by Panther Nesmith
Summary: This story is so bad in a good way. A coup de grace for my innuendo abilities. Remy and Rogue date, Scott and Jean eat bad food, Jubilee mourns her coat.
1. Chaos and Screaming

Hey All!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
If I were a rich man, I would have a dictating program on my computer and get chapters out quicker, and probably blow all my money on stupid stuff. I still would not own X-men, but I would be worth sueing. Hypothetical part of my story over (well, minus the part in between the triple asteriks), I own the number of molecules in anti-matter.  
  
A Series of Unfortunate Saturdays, Part the Fourth: X-men European Vacation  
  
***  
  
Remy stared past Rogue, out the window. He was really trying to get some sleep. He was sure he would pass out if he didn't get some sleep. Sleep wouldn't come easily though. His mind was moving like a record player on crack (Krak). He was reviewing the previouse night.  
  
--- (Wayne's World flashback thingy)  
  
"Ah guess we should be gettin' to bed." Rogue said, pulling her gold top up; wishing she ahd bothered to put straps on it. . .again. . .for the hundreth time.  
  
"Yeah y' feet mus' hurt in dose tap shoes. How do you women stand bras? I swear I'm chafing." Rogue stopped, and was obviously pondering whether or not to comment on that. Remy noticed her costume conundrum. He'd known about it before, but then it hadn't been so. . .obvious. [Thought Columbia wasn't supposed t' fall out of her costume until later in de movie.]  
  
Rogue changed the subject, not at all comfortable about talking about her boyfriend's cross dressing. "Actually, the sequins are weighin' the top down." She was fixated on the top, and really didn't mean for Remy to ponder that. She was also so caught up in her problem, she didn't notice Remy's reaction.  
  
She did a very undiginified 'pull my shirt up to my neck so it takes longer to sink down thing' and Remy reveked in the fact that he was a tall guy dating [Dating!] a medium height girl. He wanted to help her with her problme, was quite sure his solution was nothing like hers.  
  
He managed to drag his eyes away from her chest to change the subject.  
  
"Kitty's gonna be mad at you for not tellin' her about dis."  
  
Rogue yawned and nodded. "Ah know." She paused, thinking for a minute, before going on. "Ya know, it's weird. Ah'm dead tired, but Ah don't think Ah could get ta sleep fo' the life of me."  
  
Remy noded, stifilng a yawn. He _was_ sleepy, but then again, if he went to bed, the night was officially over. He wanted to stay with Rogue a little longer, so he said, "Yeah, I know what y' mean." Inspiration struck him.  
  
"I got an idea. It's easy t' get to the roof from my room. No one'll hear us, an' when y' tired y' can climb into your room, an' Kitty'll never have t' know what time y' got in.' What was understood between the two was that it wasn't his room. Still a 'touchy' subject for the both (AN: ba dum cha).  
  
"Fine; if Ah die, Ah'm gonna tell St. Peter ya were a ruthless lackey for an evil supervillain, an' he should undah no circumstances let you inta heaven."  
  
Remy looked at her, trying to decide whether or not to be offended or not. "Mos' girls would jes' say don't let me fall." Rogue looked at him, a small evil smile on her face.  
  
"That is what Ah said. Ah was just givin' ya extra incentive."  
  
Remy looked a ther, and Rogue couldn't decide if he was mock serious, or really serious. "Not bein' able t' talk to you everyday is enough t' motivate me t' be careful."  
  
Rogue had no idea how to respond; so she said so. Remy gave her a smile that made her insides turn into Jell-o. He leaned down next to her, and pulled her shirt up and told her, "Doan worry 'bout it." His hand was still on the top of her shirt, and Rogue pushed his hand away from her. He straightened up immediately, mad that he hadn't caught himself. She was very wary after that. "Jes' doan fall, 'k'?"  
  
Rogue nodded, and looked down, embarrased about how much she had enjoyed having him so close to her. She suddenly noticed the irony of it all.  
  
"Ah feel like Ah should be singin' 'When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.'"  
  
Remy stepped behind Rogue, and put his hands around her waist, no longer trusting himself to look at her from the front. "I b'lieve de next part is, 'He shooka me up, he took my by su'prise, he had a pick up truck an' de devil's eyes.' Right?"  
  
Rogue nodded, relishing the way he held her. Until her top was almost pulled completely down. She jumped out of his arms, and ran to her room, telling him, over her shouder, that she would meet him on the roof.  
  
Remy went to his room, and thought about taking off his costume. The movie was over, no reason to stay in his bra and half slip (AN: Dammit Janet indeed. *drool*). He thought about it, but then again, he didn't exactly have anything lighter to wear, and sitting on the roof was hell on underwear. So, he took off the bra, and put his trenchcoat back on.  
  
Once he was up on the roof, and starting to wonder why it always takes women so long to change their clothes, he heard someone clear their throat on one of the balconies. He looked down at Rogue who was in her pajama pants, a tank top, that he assumed matched the jammie pants, and a sheer grey shirt over it (AN: I imagine she has a lot of these in bunch of different colors. I know I would).  
  
It took a good two minutes, because it is easier to get on the roof from Remy's balcony, but eventully Rogue was sitting next to him, looking at the sky. She saw Remy still had his half-slip on.  
  
"Ah think Ah made a mistake. First you an' John are flirtin', an' Ah thought it was a joke. Now you're sittin' here, still in a slip, when AH don't even wear a slip if Ah can avoid it. An' how fair is it that you still look good, even though you're wearin' women's underwear?"  
  
Remy smiled. He also put his hand on Rogue's waist, and she pretended not to notice. "Chere I t'ink you would look a lot better'n me in women's underwear. 'Course, I'd have to see it to be sure."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes and declined comment. She looked up at the sky again.  
  
"Ya know, this was a good idea. Ah love the view up here. Good choice Remy."  
  
He looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, de view up here is tres belle."  
  
Rogue smiled and leaned into Remy, just a little bit. A tiny infintestimal bit.  
  
"Feels like the sky would just swallow you up, an' you'd be in better place on the other side."  
  
Remy was trying t figure out a way to make his next statement go the best way. He decided that pretending they were still talking about the sky was probably his best bet. "Yeah. Mebe if we just let go. . ."  
  
Rogue pulled out of his arms. She didn't look at him, or really sound upset when she spoke, but she wouldn't touch him after that; at least not for a while. "Lettin' go could be dangerous."  
  
Remy inwardly sighed. [Back to de drawing board.] He sat in silence next to Rogue, waiting until her uneasyness, a slap in the face of all he'd been working for, had abated a little.  
  
Rogue knew that Remy was just stopping an arguement before it started. It was just a way to stop her from wanting to throw him off the roof. Regardless, she decided she didn't want to fight either, and leaned back on her elbows, keeping a careful distance of at least six inces between her and Remy.  
  
They started talking again after a while, and it was much less akward. Sometimes they just sat together in silence. It was soon very peaceful fr both of htem to ust sit on the roof together, nothing to do,a nd all the time inth e world to do it in.  
  
---  
  
That is until the sun came up and Ororo flew out of her window, meaning to stretch her legs, and relish not being cooped up for a little while before the plane ride. She was used to having no bondaries around her at all. Flying in an airplane an driving were not fun activities, and the next two days would have a lot of both. She didn't even notice Rogue and Remy were there until they tried to sneak away. Then she landed on the roof, thoroughly irked that her mornign routine had been interrupted.  
  
"What are you two doing up here? Remy. . .are you in a slip? Where did yo two go last night? You can't just leave without telling anyone where you're going. You both need to grow up and accept that others matter just as much as you. You didn't help clean up at all." Ororo scolded, while the sun shined bright behind her, making her look like an avenging goddess. Which she was anyway, so it was appropriate.  
  
Remy decided the situation called for a joke. Rogue didn't know how he'd come to that conclusion, but he had. "Well, 'least I wasn't smokin' inside." Ororo looked at him like he'd just comitted blasphemy. She also gave him luggage duty.  
  
---  
  
Remy's mental replay stopped there. The rest was like something he hadn't even lived, but heard about from someone else. Paying Kurt to do his luggage duty. Sleeping in the corner of the hangar. Chasing after Rogue when she woke him up by pouring a glass of orange juice on his head. Giving up the chase when she hid behind Logan. Stealing the seat in the plane next to Rogue from Kurt. He'd only been up two hours and it had already been a busy day.  
  
Now Rogue was sleeping next to him. He wished that it impled she was curled up aganst him, peacfully snoozing after staying up for a long time with him (AN: How to put this tastefully?), her state of dress non-applicable, completely pleased with what she'd stayed up so long for (AN: As close to bad as I will get. Probably. . . No. wait, I lied).   
  
Unfortunatly, this daydream was canceled out by two things. First, the double armrest between the two of them. Second, the ways he was sleeping; head propped up against the window, mouth open, drooling, and had they been in a car, she would have been doing that jelly necked head wobble. As it was, that indignity was saved for the talking Osbornes bobble heads in her purse (AN: Which she was carrying just to hide her pranking supplies).  
  
---  
  
Rogue woke up as the plane was about to land. She saw Remy sleeping next to her. A small, but very persistent part of her brain was wishing that that impled they were in a bed, sleeping in froma night of good sex (AN: Rogue is less romantic sometimes). But, as it was, he was in a plane seat, with his head leaned back, so she could see every inch of the front of his throat, snoring very lightly. She decided to wake him up in the most evil way she could think of, so she poked him in the throat. He sat up, instantly wide awake, and Rogue laughed. He rubbed his neck, and gave her a diry looks. She smiled angelicly. Okay, she attempted to smile angelicly, but it came across as 'I dare you to do something about it.' He grumbled and rubbed his throat.  
  
The plane had hardly landed when Rahne had rushed out the door and started running around like an excited puppy. She was talking, but it was mainly non-sensical stuff. Finally she dropped to the ground, and just lay on the grass, saying "It's good to be home." over and over again.  
  
The other students laughed at Rahne's display, and the general milling that occurs when any large group of people get off a plane and don't have anything to do commenced. Finally, a short woman with large glasses and her blonde hair tied up in bun came walking across the grassy field they'd parked the Blackbird in.  
  
"Rahne! I have nay seen ye in so long!" Rahne hopped out of the grass and went to hug the woman, whom the X-men assumed, correctly, was Moira MacTaggart.  
  
After the very huggy reunion between Moira and Rahne, everybody trouped into the nearby building. The Professot had told them it was the Muir Island Medical Facility. The inside didn't look like any kind of medical facility any of the X-men had ever seen. It was homey. Carpetted floors, and pictures of every person Moira had ever laid eyes on hanging on the wall, including several of Rahne.  
  
They didn't know what to think of the place, and what the professor had told them until she showed them her lab. Rahne immediatly put her hands in her pockets, and Hank was looking around.  
  
"This looks like a gentic lab." He said. Remy had a very minor reaction to the words, but anyone who noticed it just wrote it off. It was no big deal anyway.  
  
The room was white, and you had to go through a mister to get in. Moira explained this was to get dust and other small things off their clothes, so they wouldn't contaminate the lab.  
  
Everyone but Hank got bored with the lab fairly quickly, and the new recruits went back outside to play tag. Kurt went to join them, and Jean and Scott went to help Logan unload the luggage. Everyone else left to sleep on various pieces of furniture in the living room. Kitty even wound up curling up on a coffee table (AN: Kitty pun).  
  
There was no discernable motion from the living room for a while. Remy was sprawled across the armchair, dead to the world. Rogue was sleeping on her stomache facing the back of the couch, and like I said, Kitty was curled up on the coffee table.  
  
---  
  
A man, who was also visiting the Muir Island Med. Facility walked in after a while and yelled. This had the effect of making all three of the snoozing teenagers jump. Kity slid off her table, Remy was sitting up and had his hands halfway to his pocket before he stopped himself, and Rogue threw a pillow at the man.  
  
All three of the teenagers glared at the man. He simply smiled, and said, in a very irish accent, that I will let you imagine for yourself. "You need to get up for dinner. If you nap all day, you won't sleep tonight." Even Kitty gave him a glare that could wither a steel magnolia (AN: withered flowers. . .ah, it's not important). They all got up and trudged to the kitchen.   
  
Everyone sat down, and the X-men, minus Rahne, found out that it was better to talk and shove what they assumed was boiled cabbage onto someone else's plate than eat it. Eventually Hank, who was famished and would usually eat anything, and Sam, who was hungry enough to eat wicker furniture, had eaten everyone else's cabbage. The students were introduced to the man who'd woken Kitty, Remy, and Rogue up. He turned out to be an irish police man named Sean.  
  
After dinner, the students went to their rooms, and Rogue saw she was rooming with Jean. This gave her a very evil idea. Her revenge might be able to start early.  
  
***  
  
Well, here it is.  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	2. Boiled Cabbage Picasso and Sudden Death

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Solitaire-I'm glad you're so anxious. I'll update soon, just for you bebe  
  
Eilieen- So, you're still losing your mind. Ah well. Don't worry, if you don't review, I'll know taht you didn't mean to miss it. I'm causing rat halucinations? Cool. I'm a female Willadr. I'll call my self Wilma. I loved that scene too. Remy's such a fun character, anyway you think about it. FLirty suggestive, ironic, broody, whatever, bring it on, I'll write it.  
  
Ish-Chemistry, uck. Rust sucks, that's all I care to know about it. I'm proud to be your Krak dealer. *bohemian rhapsody is sung* Okay, Wayne's World is so cool. Mike MEyers is a god. Remy in a slip, I couldn't resist. Remy's the hivalrous, old school one, and Rogue seems more practical in Evo. Kinda LIke Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. WOw, I worke dina MArk Twain reference. Freaky. Wher ewould you run if the world was about to end? I'd be looting as weell, and proabb;y finding a whole bunch of desperate guys. . .anyway, I'd enjoy the wprld's last minutes. Homocide is more fun than Suicide.   
  
Rogue LeBeau- Glad you liove it. I'm quite fond of my series as well.  
  
Miranda- I'm glad I've granted you Nirvana. How did you know Sean sounded liek a banshee? *innocent smile.* Thanks for the review and as always, love to hear from you.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
If I owned anyhting at all, the world would be a much scarier place, this I assure you.  
  
***  
Remy was in Moira's kitchen trying to make something out of nothing. At least that's what he called it under his breath. Logan heard Remy muttering, and smelt what was already more appetizing than over boiled cabbage. So, of course he went into the kitchen to mooch. But don't call it mooching if you're actually talking to him.  
  
"Smells good." Remy nodded, without looking up, or curbing his muttering over Moira's spice cabinet. Logan sat down and thought abut how to phrase his next question. He was a little angry that he had to ask this sort of thing, and it was probably just Jamie being weird. . . none-the-less, he had to know for sure.  
  
"I heard you and Rogue. . ." Logan searched for a euphemism the professor wouldn't fire him for. Remy knew what he was going to ask. He'd wondered if any of the teachers would ask about it.  
  
"Non, we di'n't. It's a long story." Logan nodded. It was the answer he'd expected. Rogue was still Rogue, no matter what. Even if she did have a very obvious crush on Remy.  
  
"Jamie told me about it. Asked me what a dominatrix was, and if it had anything to do with Rogue being a goth. So I told him." Remy stopped what he was doing to ponder that. [Poor boy. Poor, stupid boy.]  
  
Both of them knew Rogue was going to come in the room a second before she actually walked in, and she noticed they were both looking at her.  
  
"You two gotta stop that." She said, before looking around Remy's shoulder into the pot. She smiled and looked at Remy, who knew what was coming. "Remy, you know Ah love you right?"  
  
He motioned toward the table, and began digging through the vegetable drawer. Soon the room was filled with the smell of something spicy and cabbage-y. It was all that was worth considering edible in the kitchen.  
  
Remy wondered if Rogue remembered his deal with her. A quick peek at her emotions, and he saw that either she was really anxious about the cabbage concoction, or she'd remembered her part in what was dubbed Operation Graffiti. He backed away from the stove, while his. . .whatever he decided to call it simmered.  
  
"Gotta use de bathroom. Back soon." He said, and left; inwardly humming the mission impossible theme. Rogue went over to the cabbage composite, and watched it, having no idea how to tell if it was anywhere near ready.  
  
---  
Remy stood outside Xavier's door, paintcan in one hand, lock picks and paintbrush in the other hand. He was lsitening to see if Xavier was asleep or not. It sounded like it; but then again, how much noise did the professor make when he was awake. He devided that it was safe after a while, and began to work on the lock, which took very little time.   
  
He walked in and saw the professor sound asleep, in plaid pajamas. It was kind of what he'd expected to find. He really hadn't spent that much time thinking about it, except to pray the professor wasn't the kind of person to sleep naked (AN: I promise I will never use those two words in the same sentence again). He snuck over to the professor's wheels, and quietly chairjacked them. He returned the wheelchair later, hoping the professor wouldn't die from the paint fumes.  
  
---  
Rogue and Logan were sitting at the kitchen table eating ice cream and talking about something. They both stopped to look at him. Login sniffing the air like a dog.  
  
"You smell like paint." Logan said, in a tone that stated quite plainly that there had better be an excuse for this. Remy shrugged. He went over to the sink, where the pot of cabbage stuff was only half empty. After getting himself a big bowl, and pointedly not looking at Logan, and purposely sitting next to Rogue, and all the while trying to come up with a good excuse, he looked at Logan who was paying attention in mild amusement.  
  
"Rogue told me 'bout the rumors." Remy looked at Rogue, who was trying not to look up from her ice cream. It was working quite masterfully so far. Remy decided it was robably the best time to change the subject.  
  
"So, how'd you two like de food?"  
  
---  
They sat around the table talking about things until Rogue saw that is was almost four in the morning. She quickly got up form the table, saying briefly, "Ah'll be right back."  
  
She came back in after a few minutes, smelling, Logan noted, like nail polish. She smiled like the Cheshire cat on crack, and said briefly, "Can ya pretend I gave ya a good excuse?"  
  
Logan looked at his watch. "You went to bed three hours ago, and you've been dead to the world since then." Rogue smileda real smile, for Logan's benefit and thanked him.  
  
The three of them stayed up a couple more hours, talking, and delaying Logan from checking up on what they'd done. At least that was one of Rogue's motives. Finally Logan told them they'd better get to bed, or else that next day would be hell on earth. So Remy and Rogue did go upstairs, but got sidetracked talking to each other about what they'd done. They finally got to bed twenty minutes before they were woken up, once again, by Sean's screaming.   
  
Kitty phased out of her door, and scowled at teh irish amn, who said good morning, and went to make coffee, forcing Moira to put the coffee scoop down, and telling her, "Take a break, you've been working so hard to feed us all." In all honesty, Moira's coffee could stop an elepant at twenty paces.  
  
---  
Jean yawned and scratched her face. She felt something peel off under her nails,a nd she looked down at the black crap on her fingers. Panicing, Jean t.k.ed a mirror into her hand. She looked in it, and shrieked like a harpy in heat.  
  
"ROGUE!"  
  
Rogue contained a laugh before looking at Jean's face. Then she felt it was safe to laugh. The laughter attracted Bobby, who was walking down the hall like the living dead at the moment. He looked in on Rogue and Jean, and saw. . .Picasso had possesed Rogue. Jean had about twelve more eyes painted on he face, and was colored with lipstick and nail polish in bright crayola colors. Bobby started laughing his ass off. Jean huffed, and threw the mirror at him before going in the bathroom to wash her face.   
  
Kurt was 'porting from door to door. He had seen the funniest thing in the world, and he needed to spread the joy. He got to Jubilee's door first. She was regretfully packing her beloved coat into her backpack. It was just too gol-darned hot to wear it. Kurt knocked on he rdoor, and when she opened it,t eh first thing she saw of life beytond her room was Kurt smileing like a blue Cheshire Cat.  
  
"You have to see the proffesor's wheelchair." (AN: It's come to my attentiont hat a german accent is immposible to type, because it is just a little thickness, or shortness on certain sylables. Too many people write too many 'V's. You can thank my friend Katja for this insight.)  
  
Jubilee gave him a look before he gave her a hint. Jubilee wasn't sure she'd heard right.   
  
"What does some stupid cartoon have t do with anything?"  
  
Kurt told her to go to the kitchen before he 'ported to the next room,which belonged to Roberto. Kurt said the same thing to him, and everyone else he had to get to by 'porting.  
  
---  
Soon the kitchen ws full of students, all laughing and teeasing the professor. Rogue was the last one to go into the kitchen, because Jean had been yelling at her. Jean, didn't come down at all for another hour.  
  
The professor was sitting like a disgruntled bump on a log. His wheelchair was painted in a way that reminded everyone (well okay, just Kurt), or Speed Racer. Kurt hopped up onto a table, and led the whole room in a stirring rendition of the Speed Racer theme, while describing the professor's incredible speed in all the Special Olympics trials, and the Daytona 500, armec only with his wheelchair and a helmet.  
  
Afterward, the Professor called Rogue over to him.  
  
"Rogue, Jean tells me you painted on her face. I understand this was for an earlier slight, so there's really no use in disciplining you, because you'll just claim I'm a tyrant, and refuse to learn from this. However, I have done nothing to you, and you have ruined my only mode of transportation. I'm very disappointed." Rogue looked at him, incredulous.  
  
"Ah didn't paint your wheelchair professor. Ah'm just as surprised as you are about it."  
  
"Rogue, I don't really see the point in bothering about this right now. I will assign probabtion later."  
  
Rogue looked at the professor, outraged about this turn of events. She turned around and storme dout before she said something she'd have to clean toilets for. She ran into, almost literally, Remy on the way to her room. She thought about dragging him back to the professor and narcing on him. He smiled at her, and that train of thought ran off the rails.  
  
"You like my artwork, chere?"  
  
Rogue scowled at him. A definite no. Remy looked at her, practically, but not quite saying, 'What did I do?' Rogue thought about making a bitchy comment. This was voted down after a second, and a quick but minor change of expression on Remy's part.  
  
"Ah liked it, but not enough ta steal credit from you." Remy thought about saying he was sorry, but never got the chance, because Rogue chose that moment to stalk off to her room, muttering something about a shower, and whether she could make mass murder look accidental right under a police man's nose. So of course Remy followed. Then he noticed something. Rogue was wearing the same skirt and such that she'd worn the day before. She hadn't opened her suitcase yet. Now he _had_ to follow.  
  
Remy looked into the room Rogue was sharing with Jean, which no longer contained one of it's occupants. Jean had scrubbed most of the nail polish off and was eating breakfast, trying to remember why she'd gotten pranked.  
  
Rogue was in the bathroom attatched to her bedroom, messing with the shower controls. Remy meant to see if she had taken clothes into the bathroom with her. At least that was his conscious excuse. Really, it only occured to him later, after Rogue had gotten into the shower. He saw that no, she hadn't taken any clothes into the shower with her, and that the shower curtain was damn near clear. This was not quite what he'd expected to see when he'd decided to follow Rogue, but he wouldn't complain.  
  
Remy ran out of Rogue's romm after she got out of the shower. He stayred just outside he rdoor, looking in. He was very glad anyone who might come through the hall was outside playing tag. That seemed to be the only thing to do.  
  
Rogue could swea she was being watched. It was just this feeling. she looked around, and especially at the door, giving Remy a nasty shock. She didn't see how much the door was open, so he was safe. She turned to her suitcse, and opened it up. Well, she tried. Opening her suitcase required two hands, and she couldn't make her towel stay on with out a tleast one hand. So, after another look around the room, she let her towle fall to the ground next to her, and quickly opened her bag, and grabbed clothes out. At least she intended to pull clothes out.  
  
What actually happend was she looked down into her suitcse,a dn silently began cursing Remy. Laying, neatly folded, on top of her underwear and socks was the very neglige Remy had been teasing her with two stories ago.  
  
Rogue sat on her bed, before unconsciously picking up her towle and wrapping it around herself. Remy was now partailly mesmerized, as well as inwardly hoping Rogue would not call out for his genitals on a stick. She looekd at the bit of underwear and cursed vehemently.  
  
"Why is that even when he does somethin' stupid like this Ah can find a compliment in it. Asshole."  
  
Remy smiled. So she wouldn't kill him. Well, at least not for that. Rogue set the bit of lace back in he rsuitcase, and got out real underwear, and her gothest clothes (AN: Gothest isn't a word, is it?).  
  
Remy would have been home free if he hadn't decided to continue pushing his luck. He seemed to have forgotten, or not cared, that Rogue would eventually leave her room until it was just too late. Namely, when she opened the door, slamiming it into his forehead.  
  
"Shifuck." (AN: A combo of shit and fuck. Probably my favorite explitive. Ani DiFranco used it, and I had to make the reference.)  
  
"What the Hell?"  
  
Remy looked up at the surprised, turning angry Rogue.  
  
"I dropped somet'in' here. . " Remy looked downat Moira's spotless floor He quickly pulled something out of his pocket. Something very brown, fuzzy and disgusting. "It's. . .a mint. Heh." Rogue looked at him with all the fury of a dragon with a migraine, forced to babysit her younger brothers and watch Barney. In other words, rem'y long slow painful death would make international news, not to mention make an insantiy plea the best option.  
  
"You are dead. No, ou are beyond dead. When you finally die, you will be thanking God. Come here now."  
  
Remy ran. Even in his sleep deprived, unable-to-lie state, he dd the most intelligent thing he could. He ran toward the teachers.  
***  
Hope you liked it.   
  
Review!  
Peace and Love,   
Panther Nesmith 


	3. God Save the Queen, and Sharon Osbourne!

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
kaosda-Glad you like it. Thanks for the compliment! It'll all work out for him eventually.  
  
Ish-You were reading Karma Sutra? Okay. Little Lumberjack? He's a lumberjack. . .I guess that's been done. The name was thought up at he last moment, and he didn't get too much sleep the previous night. Glad you like the blatant plug. Speed Racer was the show when I was little. I got up at five to watch it and Voltron. *pfft* Like you weren't scarred for life before. Maybe a good nap would save him too. Puppy dog looks are tough to withstand, I'll give ya that. Sparkly stuff is fun. Glad you like 'shifuck'. Ani is a genius. I'll bring it on. You better believe I'm bringin' it on. I'll bring it on so much you won't know what I've brought on.  
  
Makira-chan-I've found a plethora of Remy stories, but I'm glad you like mine! Thanks!  
  
Miranda-Yeah, I'm evil. Now I know how I'll take over the world. Forget my corrupt computer repair buisness, I'm gonna write my way into power. I swear on the river Styx and the band Styx I will never ever use sleeping naked in reference to tthe prof. again. Glad you loved it. I feel so happy! Whee!  
  
Eilene- I'm glad you appreciate his fall from perfection. Glad you like the imagrey. I'm sure Logan would just tie Remy up and leave him alone with Rogue for a few hours, but the rest might have pity on him. If he's really in a tight spot, he could got to Scott, I supose. Not that he will, but you know. Oh, and just as a side note, everytime I read one of your reviews I'm listening to Comeon Eilene. Freaky, no?  
  
Solitaire- I'm glad I've brought you joy. Oh, there will be plenty of people to feel sorry for soon, if that's whacha want. Glad you like the ramblings of a butterfly. Yeah!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
It's over nwo and I'm standin' retty, int his dust that was a city, and here isd a disclaimer, I own nothing, so let it go.  
  
***  
Rogue stood outside the kitchen door scowling at Remy. He immediatly decided just being in the room wasn't protection enough. Ororo was sitting at the table, pretty much the only one not discussing the Professor's descision to stay in Scotland. Remy was sure Logan said his name. Remy walked by just a little faster. Then Logan apparently noticed Rogue in the doorway.  
  
"In or our stripes." ORgue realized that if she told Logan why Remy had to die he might dot eh job for her. It would be disappointing to just watch Logan rip Remy apart. Rogue gave Remy one last withering stare before going to her room to plot his murder. it was a comforting thought, almost. And hey, it was something to do. Never say Mystique didn't do anything for her.  
  
---  
Scott walked out to the large field behind hte builiding. The students seemed to have turned into five year old,s and were all playing dodge ball. He shook his head, only a little sad to break up the game.  
  
"Okay, everyone pack your stuff up. Jubilee, isn't it a little hot in that coat?" Scott said, as the girl ran past him with one of the oranges from breakfast. She stopped and looked at him.   
  
"No." Jubilee shrugged, and went back to her game. Too bad for her Scott's question had made her realize how warm it really was outside. After everyone agreed to pack really fast, and Kurt had suggested playing red rover when they finished, Jubilee went to her room, and regretfully packed her raincoat carefully with the rest of the stuff she was goign to keep in the car with her. Then Jubilee left, to play Red Rover.   
  
Unbeknownst to Jubilee, Rogue had been watching from across the hall, where she had been about to put lye in Remy's stash of hooch. It would be interresting to see what would happen if he drank it. Well, at least to Rogue. She saw Jubilee packing something carefully, instead of just piling stuff into her bag. Rogue knew exactly what she was going to do to pay back Jubilee. The lye could wait. It wasn't like Remy' wouldn't be there to poison with sink unclogger later.  
  
Later; everyone was in the dining room for lunch. Their stuff was all packed up, and waiting in the two rental vans and one rental car. Now this meal was an interresting affair. Not only was Jean looking at Rogue like she was a plaugue rat, and Rogue was watching Remy like Hannibal Lecter looks at a visitor: but also, apparently, there were a few Red Rover injuries, and everyone was glaringat someone else. With the exception of Kurt. He was just trying to keeep his head down so the newer students wouldn't decide to kill him and see if people really do taste like chicken.  
  
After lunch, everyone said their good byes to the Professor, Moira, and Sean. The Professor watched the mayhem as the students fought over who got what seat. He watched as Logan, who was driving to teachers' car, tore out of the driveway like an episode of Cops. He observed Scott and pretty much every other boy fight over the keys to the van. He comiserated with the girls, who absoloutly refused to let Tabitha or Kitty drive. After the students had all gotten settled in and pulled out, the Professor turned to Moira. "You know, I think I made a wise descision in staying here. Those student will be the worst thing to happen to London since the plaugue."  
  
---  
On the ferry to mainland Scotland, the students were once again goofing off. This time they were playing hide and seek, and Kitty was it. Only Jean, Rogue, and Sam were in no way participating. Scott was telling the students off, and Remy was making comments about Scott's control over the other students throwing in references to other dictators, and generally not helping at all. Being paranoid that your girlfriend is going to kill you at any given moment makes you very bitchy.  
  
Jean and Sam were watching the other students with amusement. Okay, Jean was mildly amused, because she was supposed to be the role model. Actually she was laughing on the inside. Sam was laughing out loud, but mainly at Remy' side comments, and the other students' reactions. His favorite was when Amra listened to Remy talking aboutthe oppresion of the younger students and and yelled "Right on brother!" You to piss Scott off. Needless to say, it worked, and Scott was losing paitence.  
  
Rogue was barely paying attention. Remy's smart assyness had distracted Scott long enough for Rogue to plant phase one of her revenge on Scott, and pretty much all the boys when she thought about it. Now she was back in the girl's van, digging through Kitty's luggage looking for something. In one hand was a black jewelry box that had a latch, and rattled everytime she moved her hand. After a while, Rogue finished her evil doing that concerned Kitty, and moved onto Jubilee's coat.  
  
---  
After the ferry things started to go badly. For the girls, it was terrifying. Jean had decided to take a nap on the way to London, and had allowed Tabitha to drive. Jean's sleep was frequently interrupted by her fellow females' yelling at Tabitha to slow down. Rogue, who had the back seat to herself wasn't saying anything, and seemed to be writing while listening to the Clash's 'Four Horsemen'. [She's acting unusually aloof and sadistic today. Wonder what _she's_ got to be mad about?] Jean mused, before Tabitha swearved to avoid running down a guy crossing the street.  
  
The boys had a rough time too. The bobbleheads wer ehte only sound inteh car sometimes, because the face plate to the radio (and these do come off) was in Rogue's pocket. The boys were laughing at the Osbournes at first. Scott was the only one who realized how anoying it would be. Remy didn't even notice them. He made sure to have his headphones on from the second got in the car. The Sex Pistols were drowning out the Osbournes.  
  
Remy had been on a punk kick since he'd found out they were going to London, and it had actually been Rogue who'd recomended the Sex Pistols to him. She'd been joking at the time, but he now knew all the lyrics to most of their songs. 'God Save the Queen' could drown out anything.  
  
After a while he noticed his CD player was almost out of batterie power. Not wanting to have to listen to the demented boys around him, or Scott bitching about how much the Osbournes were getting on his nerves, or Jamie singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves. . ." Remy began looking through his suitcase for the large pack of batteries he'd packed. Instead he found an empty box, and a note.  
  
"Remy,  
This is just the beginning. Sucks to be you, I'm sure. Jack is my favorite Osbourne Bobble head, see if you agree with me.  
  
Burn in Hell,  
Rogue"  
  
Remy lookeda t the note in horror. How had she mangaed to steal his batteries? How had anyone mangaed to take something from him? This was unhgeard off. And speaking of unheard, his Discman gave an angry buzz signalling a complete loss of battery power, and teh Sex Pistols was replaced by Ozzy Osbourne, and his spawn. The Sharon Bobble Head was in Bobby's hands, with the voice box out the window. They were still looking for the rest.  
  
If the boys had it bad, the teachers were in Hell. Logan wasn't exactly the world's worst driver, but he was definitly the world's scariest driver. His road rage was freaking Hank and Ororo out, along with the fact that he was having a hard time getting used to being on the other side of the car and the road.  
  
Hank was praying to whatever diety cared to listen. "Please stop. This is unnesisary. You can pass on teh right here. Slow down! Watch out for the pedestrian! Tabitha already almost ran him down."  
  
Ororo was regeretting her descision to ride shotgun. "Logan, we're supposed to be on the other side of the road! The speed limit is not this high." Ororo had a death grip on the armrests, and was very close to panicing. On the bright side, she forgot about her claustophobia.  
  
They made it to London alive, and for the most part sane. The only exception was Scott who was ripping the boy's van apart, muttering deranged things under his breath and sometimes yellignt hings like "Destroy them all!" Eventually Jean used her tk to levitate Scott into the hotel lobby to check in.  
***  
Next, everyone int heir rooms. Jean threatens Rogue, Rogue contemplates her paanks, Remy goes out drinking, logan wears a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt. Only in this fic folks.  
Review!  
Peace and Love,   
Panther Nesmith 


	4. Alcohol, Sex, and Insanity

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Miranda-Yes, I'd go insane if I were a. . .wait, no, I'm already insane, but. . .you know what I mean. I like the idea of Scott being a little demented too. HAPPPY BIRTHDAY!  
  
Eileen-Well, I understand it's a big jump from Dune to Romy, but I'm glad you tried for me. I can really see her doing that. I had to get in a canibalism reference, and one calls for another. Hanibal Lecter is cool. The second chapter is obviously finished, either that or I've replaced it with author's notes. Don't see why I would do that though. Anyway, glad I could help you cross back over into Romy. Keep on truckin'.  
  
Solitaire-I think that's everybody's favorite line. I have a fan? Gasp! * I fall over, in shock* And a big fan at that. Wow. Just, wow. Cool. Oh, I would die of fear if Jean threatened to take me shopping. Ug. I'm not really any sort of lable thing, I've been known to wear boas with blue jeans and large patches of bright pink lipstick over my right eye, simultaniously, but I wouldn't wear anything Jean wears. Rogue can handle whatever Jean threatens her with, because she's trained to handle stuff like that. Thanks for reviewing. I have to go shout from the roof tops that I have a fan. Yeah!  
  
Ish-Ag! Real life dares to interfere with your reading fan fiction. How terrible. Hockey? I'm a soccer _player_ myself. I don't like to watch, I like to do. I'm so not a voyer. Anyway, glad you could fit me ito your hockey filled life. I don't mind really. It's okay. Interprtive dance is so aweful. Ug, just, yeach. The Sex Pistols are good, but I like the Clash better. London Calling is the epitome of albums. British accents are _so_ sexy, usually. I can think of about twelve english guys who I would never consider sexy in any way shape or form. Ah well, I know how great it can be. anyway, I think you'll like the next chapter for its high revenge content. Reality sucks. Ah well. Hear from ya soon, I hope.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I can't make any more jokes. Marvel you'll just have to sue me because I stole your characters and didn't put up a disclaimer due to a creative drought.  
  
***  
After everyone was checked in, and Scott was safely away from the rental van Jean went to Rogue's room. It was bad enough that Rogue had pranked her at all. But Scott had made reservations at a very nice restaurant, calling collect from America, and Jean would be damned if some childish prank from a wanna be misanthrope were going to mess up her good time.  
  
Rogue was laying on her bed on her stomache, listening to her discman and holding something in her hands. Jean didn't get a good look at it, because Rogue shoved it under her bed as soon as the door opened. Jean frowned at Rogue, and motioned for the goth to take her headphones off. Rogeu complied, trying to decided whether she should glare or smile sadistically. Eventualy Rogue decided a blank look would work best.  
  
"This is a fair warning. I understand you've been very angry at everyone for the past two weeks, and that I did embarrass you, for your own good; but I am going out with Scott tomorrow night, and if you do anything to mess it up, you will regret it. Understood?"  
  
Rogue roled her eyes. [That the best ya can come up with? Please, I've heard Kitty give bettah threats.] Instead of mocking Jean, Rogue simply turned her discman back on.  
  
"Untouchable,  
You think you're untouchable,  
You know,  
No one's untouchable."  
  
Jean turned around, a little worried about what _that_ could mean.  
  
Rogue watched Jean exit, and pulled out Remy's 'gift'. It really was kind of flattering, in an 'Every Breath You Take' kind of way.  
  
---  
Remy was in his room, trying to shake off his mild insanity due to an Osbournes overdose. He was doing it with Limp Bizkit. 'Rearranged' was saving his sanity. He barely heard when Logan knocked on his door. But, he'd been listening for it, so he gotup anyway. When he opened the door he saw Logan standing there in a Hard Rock Cafe Toronto t-shirt and a pair of really crappy jeans. This could mean only one thing.  
  
"I'm goin' out for a drink. The only good food here comes after you've had a few. You in?"  
  
Remy didn't even think about it. "Yeah, I'm in." He grabbed his coat and carjacked the teachers' car;l since Hank had confiscated the keys from Logan. Remy decided he was probably only going to live if he drove. So, after putting in 'Signifigant Other', and cranking 'Nookie' up as loud as he could (AN: I know, an obvious choice but why not?), he drove off for the nearest crappy, smelly, cheap english pub.  
  
---  
Jean banged her brush in the counter of her bathroom to call the students to attention. Kitty was still missing, and it was worrying Jean. Just when everyone quieted down, minus Jubilee who was sobbing about her coat, Kitty phased in brandishing a teddy bear who would put even the biggest metal head to shame, and I'm not talkin' about a musical choice here folks.  
  
"Look what Rogue did to my bear! It looks it should be in a mosh pit at a rave!" Kitty said, before sitting on Jean's bed, trying to keep herself composed.  
  
Bobby was the first person to talk. "Kitty, it's just a bear."   
  
Kitty looked at Bobby, all the rage, and uneasiness, and everything she'd suffered through coming out in a short evil burst. Kitty brandished her beloved toy like a mace, smacking Bobby with Rogue's very sharp body jewelry, including a couple rings he would definitly _not_ want touching his face. Maybe another major organ, the one he did a lot of his thinking with, but not _this_ head (AN: to be blunt (smashing a fly with a sledgehammer)).  
  
"My dad gave this to my mom when he worked the night shift, and she gave it to me when I was born! NEVER mock my bear!" Kitty swung her pierced bear at Bobby again, and was only stopped when Jean used her t.k.  
  
"We're here to discuss how to stop Rogue. I think those of us she has already pranked will be comparatively safe, but the rest of you may not. I suggest a buddy system." Scott, who had decided vacation meant someone else calls the shots (with Remy's help (AN: Sott's decision, not some one else consulting Remy. . .ya get it)), raised his hand.  
  
"Are you sure this will work? I mean, Rogue's not going to be frightened just because she has to take on two of us at once, and this will also leave half of our stuff open for attack, and that seems to be the usual direction. . ."  
  
Scott didn't finish what he was saying before a fight erupted. In the end, no one knew why, but it was hunch that Kurt bumped against Amara's Red Rover injury, and she'd jumped him. For whatever reason, what Scott said never got heard.  
  
Sam as the one to break up the fight. He did it by dropping Jean's brush while standing on the counter. When the students heard the heavy metal back of the brush hit the cold tile, about half of them ducked, and someone yelled "Gun!" Sam took adavantage of the relative quiet.  
  
"This is stupid. Probably what Rogue wants too. Ya know, divide an' conquer? I think the buddy system will work, but only to make you all feel better. I admitt I'm an innocent bystander, but soemtime's it feels like I'm bystandin' in the no man's land between the battle of whoever versus everyone else, an' I'm damned tired of it! Settle this, so Ah can get some sleep. I'm sharin' a room with Bobby, I'll team up with him."  
  
Everyone nodded, and soon partners were chosen. Everyone but Scott and Jean left the hotel room (AN: I wish so much that I could put something naughty after this, and change the whole course of this fic. Alas, even if I were to get. . .graphic, and change the plot just a little, I couldn't do it here. Maybe I'll start my own web site just to motivate myself to write smut. Then again. . .nah.).  
  
---  
Rogue was in the adjacent room to Jean's listening to the conversation. Kiyty knocked on her door. Rogue looked at her formerr room mate, who wasn't happy about the bear thing.  
  
"Rogue, un-pierce my bear, and please tell me you didn't put any rings that have been anywhere usually covered by underwear on it. Whether it's true or not."  
  
"Okay. None of 'em have been anywhere near my labia. Now, Ah have somethin' really terrible planned for you, an' your bear. Ah will be happy to forget that Ah'm mad atcha if you'll help me with my little endeavor. Capish?"  
  
Kitty quickly nodded, and Rogue smiled evilly. "Alrighty then. Let's get started."  
  
---  
Remy was sitting next to Logan, a little happier with his situation, when he could remember it, than he had been earlier. Mostly he kept imagining Rogue, and inserting himself into the shower he'd watched. Of course things only got worse from there.   
  
Logan snapped Remy out of his inner erotica induced euphoria to ask him a question.  
  
"What the hell were we listening to in the car? That was some crappy music (AN: Well, I can see Logan not being impressed with Limp Bizkit. Dunno why)."  
  
"Limp Bizkit."  
  
Logan gave him an almost evil smile. "They make pills for that you know. Actually, I don't see why that's a problem right now, unless. . ."  
  
Remy cut him off, determined to have the last word, even if it would be his last words. "Sorry Logan. 'M sure you're good, but I got a girlfriend."  
  
"What?" Logan looked at Remy, half regret, because he really didn't want to kill another drinking buddy, really, it was getting old, and half you-better-not-realise-what-you've-done,-bub.  
  
Remy noticed the sudden change in mood, and went to his own defense. "Rogue, I'm goin' out wit' Rogue. We went out after de party, an' decided it would probably be a regular t'ing. Me an' Rogue, goin' out. . .yeah."  
  
Logan's temper went down. . .mostly. Remy sighed in reliefe, inwardly. Logan thought for a little while, before he said, "That's fine. I thought you meant something else." He finished his drink before adding, "'Bout damn time."  
  
Remy relised he'd been subliminally challenged and got quasi-offended. It didn't do well to get really offended at someone who was very well known for his ability to heal, had claws made of very sharp and resilient metal, and was currently not as drunk as Remy was; but he wasn't going to let it slide by either. "Why'd you thnk I meant somethin' else. Surely y' not sayin' she's not good 'nough f'r me. You know she'll find a way to kill you if you do."  
  
"Not what I meant and you know it. 'Sides, from the way she was glarin' at you this morning, it looked suspicious, to say the least. So, if it's not insane anger because you're goin' out with someone else, or cheatin' on her already, what's up with you two?"  
  
Remy knew better than to tell Logan any part of why Rogue was mad at him. Usually they didn't talk about institute things at all. Remy had no idea why tonight was an exception, but it was really starting to get to him. "Doan wanna talk 'bout it."  
  
Logan nodded. "I understand. Just a fair warning. If Rogue tells me, and it's something I would kill you for, I'm just tieing you up and sending you to her room, gift wrapped, understood?"  
  
Remy nodded his head and ordered another drink.  
***  
Review!  
Peace and Love,   
Panther Nesmith 


	5. Cause

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Miranda-Lazy bones. Not even bothering to sign in. Ah well, Icoulda figured out it was you. No worries! Gramar sucks. Just don't type too bad, 'kay? I hate that. It makes me think English is a dead language. Aww, I'm glad I've made your birthday happier. A pot turned fireplace? Give the gift that keeps on giving, fire. How very strange. Aw, I shoulda put something nice about Scott in here for you. Soon, I will let him have a little fun, I promise. Glad you think it's worth it at least.  
  
Misa1124-You kow, I think you're the first person to use numbers in their name and review me. Yeah! Alphanumeric reviewer! You really can't stop laughing? Cool. Don't worry, i spend most of my time laughing at nothing, and people only give me a ten foot radius and some disturbed looks. It's quite peaceful being strange. Come over to the insane side Misa1124. The revenge stops after Remy, I promise. The professor is wierd like that. He definitley has the coolest wheels this side of the t.v. screen. Glad you're plannin' on stickin' with us.  
  
Eileen-You chose Romy over Dune because of me? I feel so loved. *basking in the warm afterglow of such a comment* Basking complete. Thanks. Glad you found humor in my twisted ways. I found out something that was kind of funny weird too, I'm on at least six people's favorite author's lists, and I average four or five reviews a chapter. Not quiet funnny, but an observation. Hope you don't burn yourself out on Dune (Did you know Susan Sarandon, aka Janet is in Sci Fi's new Dune movie? How much has she not moved up in the world?).  
  
I will be marketing sterile mosh pit bears. Look for them at any fine Goth Toys R' Us establishment. Only thirty five ninety five (those peircings cost money!). Sleep is overrated, but not too bad usually. Unless you have a nightmare where at first you have gills, and you're swimming, but then you don't have gills no mo'. That's my least favorite dream.  
  
Ish- Thankyou. The Clash are so awesome, I totally agree with you. Ouch, that sounds like my soccer team on a good night. Our teams are good. We're not bad, it's just that they're better. Ouch you turned them off for Buffy. That hurts. Sorry the leafs did badly. Jean was kind of pathetic, but she's not used to using threatened violence to get her means, like Rogue, or her current writer, moi. Yeah, I think I'm gonna market that bear. A girl witha punked out Smurf tatoo and a good concert. You've seen heaven my dear Ish. Yes, safety in numbers, as Sam predicted, will falil miserably. I had to throw the comment in. Viagra is damned everywhere! I swear, why do old guys wanna have sex anyway? No one'll do them. I don't get it. But it does explain Hugh Hefner. He should doa Viagra comercial. I can't honestly see it haveing the same comedic effect if the insultee were Scott, 'cause you never know. I mean, int he next chapter. . .you'll see.   
  
Disclaimer  
  
If life were perfect, everyone would own the X-men, and we'd all get along harmoniously, and certain plotlines that are very out of character, and obviously plot device dependant (Anyone know what I'm talkin' 'bout? Twenty points, and a fic request if you do), would never have happened. But alas, it did, and we have to deal with not owning anything. Really am I gonna get sued if I don't put this here? I'll gladly give up all I have to Marvel, but it's mainly debt.  
  
***  
  
It was dark in Scott and Jean's room. Scott was asleep on the couch, and Jean was asleep in the bed. Kitty phased herself and Rogue in. Rogue smiled evilly. The first thing she did was absorb Jean and give Scott and Jean horrendous nightmares that they wouldn't wake up from. Then she put a crazy little notion into Bobby's head and let him torment himself.  
  
Rogue used Jean's T.k. to do a little re-arranging in the room. Ororo was the next one to get an idea planted in her head, and she woke up to put 'her' fear to rest. Then Rogue pulled out a bottle of green hair dye she'd been mixing earlier, and dabbed a fair amount on the tips of Jean's hair; just enought so she'd freak out, but not so much that she'd have to chop off all her hair. Last, she stole Scott's pajama top, knowing she'd need it later. Kitty phased them both back out, while Rogue waited to torment Remy.  
  
---  
  
Ororo knew what she was doing was unnessisary. The children, except Remy, would be asleep. In order to put this notion of checking on the kids to rest, she decided to check on Jean first. Perhaps it was paranoia from the previous day that had caused Jean to project fear, and Ororo had picked up on it.   
  
The woman almost laughed at herself when she started to open the door by picking the lock instead of knocking. Nonetheless, by the time she started laughing, the door was open, and she was looking in to see. . .An apparently nude Sott, with his arm around an apparently nude Jean, in Jean's double bed, and nothing else. The other students woke up whent hey heard the sounds of Scottt and Jean getting a good old fashioned reaming. Bobby got it all on video tape.  
  
---  
  
When Bobby went back to his room, he got the weirdest idea. "Hey, Sammy?"  
  
Sam lookd at his 'buddy', "Yeah Bobster?"  
  
"Does this remind you of The Shining?"  
  
Sam noticed Bobby lookin very deranged and distrubed. Then, to Sam's annoyance, Bobby began to act exactly like Jack Nicholson's character. And I mean back when good ol' Jack played 'im. Sam saw how scared Bobby was when he started screaming everytime Sam tried to get to sleep. Sam cursed his luck. Then he cursed Rogue; then he cursed Bobby, then he just started cursing. It was better than listening to Bobby, that was for sure.  
  
---  
  
Rogue remembered something a few minutes after Ororo had gone back to bed.  
  
"We still gotta do Kurt 'n' Amara. Ah've got the stuff. How did we forget that?"  
  
Kitty shrugged, inwardly ready to cause more chaos. How had Kitty lived her life so far without pranking anybody? It seemed unreal to her. She would definitly take another leaf out of Rogue's book. Kitty phased into Kurt's room, with ORgue behind her.  
  
Kurt was in the bed, and Amara was, for whatever reason, on the couch. Jubilee was huddled in the corner. Rogue went up to the sobbing girl.  
  
"Ah'll tell ya asecret if you tell me why you an' Amara are in mah brothah's room."  
  
Jubilee gave Rogue a dirty look. "I was bothering Amara, so she decided not to suffer alone. We both came in here, and Kurt didn't tell us to leave before he went to sleep, so here we are. What secret do yo have." Even in her very emotional state, Jubilee couldn't resist gossip. It attracted her like a moth to a fire. SHe eagerly listened with her gossip monger hearing.  
  
"The marker on you coat is washable."  
  
Jubilee hopped up, ecstatic. "Thank you!" She seemed to forget that Rogue was the one who'd colored on her beloved jacket in the first place. Rogue took off her back pack, and closed the bathroom door while Jubilee happily cleaned her coat.  
  
With an evil smile, Rogue finished her long awaited revenge. Now it was the time for new revenge. A part of her was glad. With the revenge off her chest, she could actually enjoy being in London. It was her first time out of the country.  
  
Kitty phased Rogue back into her room, and they both collapsed on her bed.  
  
"Yano, Kurt's gonna kill us."  
  
Rogue smiled, a tired, triumphant smile. "Yeah, if he can catch us."  
  
Kitty nodded, "Good point. Is that everyone?"  
  
Rogue went over the list inher head, just to double check. "Mmm hmm. Thanks Kitty."  
  
Kitty looked at Rogue, surprised. "No prob. See you tomorrow. Night Rogue."  
  
---  
  
Remy wasn't feeling at all well. For one thing, he knew he was going to have a hang over tomorrow. For another, Logan had driven them both back to the hotel. His healing power making him not drunk enough to drive. Not safe mind you, but not drunk either. For another, his doorknob wouldn't open. For the fourth time. He was getting frustrated. First Rogue manged to filch hi sbatteries, and now he couldn't even get in his own damn door with the key? He checked the number ont he key and saw teh problem. Not his key. Logna was watching, and Remy had up unitl then been ignoring him.  
  
"Ver' funny, Logan. M' key, please."  
  
Logan traded him keys witha laugh,a nd a comment about AA. Remy would have made a witty comeback, but he was tired, drunk, and pissed off. Not a good combo. Baside that, he didn't know which room was Rogue's and she ws hopefully asleep by then. No need to wake her up.  
  
Remy actually got to his bed before he collapsed, which was better than he expected to do. He was so blissfully close ot sleep when someone knocked ont eh door. Thinking it was Logan, and ready to tell the man to piss off, no matter how dangeropus that would be, Remy trudged to the door.  
  
What eh saw when he opened it was not the world's worst driver, and also the best security guard that sid eof the channel, but Rogue. Rogue wearing, Remy quickly noted, seemingly nothing but a guy's pajama top. Said top went down enough to cover her, but not nearly far enough to keep her decent.  
  
Remy kind of stood there with his mouth open. He really wished he could do something beside gape like an idiot, but it took a while for his body to cooperate. Rogue was also smiling, and not, I'm-gonna-rip-out-your-eyes-and-laugh-while-you-bleed-to-death kind of smile, but a pretty real smile, until you noticed her eyes, heavily outlined in black, but not overpowered by eyeshadow like usual, were gleaming sadistically, and also a little bloodshto from lack of sleep. He also noticed Rogue seemed to be wearing a whole lot of lipstick, in a very very dark brown (AN: The make-up had to get a goth upgrade. I hate how her make-up's just dark, but not really very goth. Makes me mad.)  
  
Remy mangaed to wake himself enough to wish his liver into overdrive. Too bad the human body doesn't work like that. He stepped back, allowing room for Rogue get through.  
  
"'Lo, chere. Y'wanna talk, right?"  
  
Rogue walked in, and instead of flopping on the couch, or grabbing the desk chair, like anybody else would have done, she sat on the bed. Not the edge, where it would take a little bit of working for his bogged down brain to get the drift, but in the middle of his miraculously still made bed.   
  
Remy knew he could do one of two things. He could sit beside her and be at a total loss for what to do, like Austin Powers when he thought he'd lost his mojo. The other option was play chicken. See who could out bluff who. He decided eh liekd the chicken idea better. Maybe he'd get lucky and the universe wold throw him a bone. . .so to speak.  
  
He decided to sit next to Rogue, who instictually shot straight up. Remy inwardly smirked, but Rogue played it off. This was better than her first idea.  
  
"Remy, doncha think it's a little hot inhere? Ah hope you don't mind if AH amke mahself more comfortable." Rogue inwardly cringed at ehr choice of words. She wasn't used to this sort of thing. But someoen in her head had done this before, and it seemed more ffectivce than beating his brians out with a tire iron. Come to think of it, Rogue was pretty sure it had been Mystique. [Too late to worry about it now.]  
  
Rogue unbottoned Scott's pajama top, and watching Remy's reaction like a vulture. He was paying rapt attention, and seemed to eb trn as to whether he should watch her hands, or just keep his eyes in one place. He decided on the former when he realized Rogeu was holding the shirt shut. This would be bad. Remy knew he might die from this encounter. But it seemed like the best way to go, so he didn't do anything stupid, like try to stop her.   
  
Rogue smiled outwardly, for once, at Remy's expression. It was what she'd prepared for. When she knew he wasn't going to look away no matter what, she tssed Scott's pajama top off of herself, and by the door, sos he could grab it fast on the way out. After the practical lesson in why the whole lust thing wasn't going to fly well was over.  
  
Remy looked at Rogue, and inwardly said, [Oh fuck.] It was the neglige he'd given her. A nail in his coffin he'd forgotten about. Rogue smiled and got back on the bed, sitting on Remy's legs, just above his knees. Remy looked at his bare hands, and edecided there was no way in hell he could get her off of himself. He did notice Rogue had a couple peircings she definitly hadn't told the professor about. He decided, once his mind back to teh buisness at hand. . .the current problem.  
  
Rogue slowly pulled herself up hs legs, until she could comfortably laydown on top of him, so she wouldn't attract too much attention from the perhaps still awake Logan. not that she needed to worry. Logan was sleeping like a dead person in his room down the hall.  
  
She was a little uncomfortable, because her body seemed to have forgotten how mad the rest of her was at Remy. But at the moment, it was mind over matter all the way. She knew Remy couldn't say the same thing. She was once again reminded of Mystique. [Aftah this, AH'm stickin' to destruction of property.]  
  
Remy prayed that he was the awesome guy eh thought eh was. This would be a bad time to realize he'd been deluding himself. But then again, if he died, he was still okay. Heaven would look like this, and physically feel mostly like this. Hell would emotionally feel like this, and most likely sound like it too, since Rogue had yet to say anything about the current situation. Purgatory seemed to be a place on earth for the night.  
  
"So, Remy, this whacha wanted"  
  
[Yes. Dis just about covers what I wanted.] "I just wanna get t' sleep. M' real tired, an' I swear I di'n't mean t' wa'ch'u. Jes' kin'a happened." [Please work. I might be able to turn this t' my advantage.]  
  
Rogue felt him try to get up, and slid down his legs, so that she was basically sitting on his lap, facing him; her legs folded up under themselves, behind him. She lifted ehrself up a little, being unfomfortable for anataomical reasons, both his anatomy, and hers (AN: I'm Madame Tact I swear. (Well, maybe not Madame, since that reminds me of something kinda like this, but pretty much different. (Once again, tact))). Rogue ws playing with the tought of takinga n eye for an eye. She knew that would not only be perverted, and enjoyable for him, but she would also probably be very tempted to take advantage of the situation, hwich woulnd't sit well with anyone. No matter how much he seemed to think otherwise.   
  
As for Remy, his thoughts were just as bad, and possibly worse. He couldn't keep his mind in one place long enough to figure it out. So, he deicded to ignore it for the tiem being, and concentrate on the reality, which was, as he saw it, Rogue, straddleign him, of her own free will, and through no coercment of his own, wearig somehting he'd bougth for her, knowing full well she would nevere wear it. He was pretty hapy with how the whole thing had turned out so far. The last thing he heard her say, right before he leaned in and kissed her, "Ah thought you'd like ta see me in this."  
  
Rogue fell under Remy's dead weight, which didn't sit well with her legs, but none of the rest of her was complaining after she stopped touching him. She was glad she'd had enough forsight, or too little forsight, depending on which side you take, to keep her gloves on. after stretching her legs,a dn finding a way to get Remy off of her, Rogue quickly hunted down the polariod carema she knew was in there, from when she'd taken the remainder of the wheelchair paint.  
  
After tracking it down, she qucikly arranged Remy on the bed and layed down in front of him. It was only half his idea, and she knew that she would probably have done the same thing if he'd just passed outon his own; if she'd had the idea. After taking the picture, she stole all of his underwear, and replaced it with a very Rocky Horror gold bikin, that ws Bobby's size, and thusly too small. it had actually been bought for Bobby, but she'd figured he'd proabbly suffered enough, and then the whole thing with Remy had given her a new idea for the neglected men's underwear.  
  
***  
  
Hope you liked it. Up next, everyone wakes up!  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,   
  
Panther Nesmith 


	6. Effect

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Miranda-You wanna put my stories up? You bet you can have 'em! Glad you liked the chapter! Is it just hett SoUS or the soing fics too? It's hard being so tactful. I just wanted to write something nota euphmism (more tact) just once. I just figured that I had to up the ratings if I didn't work my way around the point without getting to it, but showing you what it was. What I wouldn't give to write something very nasty. I'm tireda bein' clean. AH well, gotta keep it up. After this I'll write a romance novel for myself. Thanks for likeing my story!  
  
Elieen-Endocrine system, Romy. . .I see no difference. I get side tracked a lot too. JWhen do you think I write this stuff, my free time? Ha, I wish I had free time. I might get some sleep. Right now I run on caffeine and a prayer. I like to play with irony. It's fun. Oh,t he thing with Remy. I swear, my mind was ina rare golden, pornographic state at the time. Glad I've permanently altered you, for better or worse. I hate whenlibraries do that! I mean, I'm on a Pratchett kick, and they have a few of his books, and I read them all over the summer! I hate it! I just noted Susan Sarandon was in Children of Dune. I don't really know what the books are about. If tehy're half as good to read as the movie clips were to look at (they looked sharp!) I definitly gotta add them to my list. ANway, to Romy. Funnily enough, Remy's only ever set that sort of trap before, never been a victim, if you can really call hima victim, of this ploy before. Oh, the whole getting even with Rogue thing hads been forgotten. That's what got them in the mess in the first place. Well, I dunno, I haven't fnished writing it out yet.   
  
Ish-Glad you're not deaf. Can you hear me now? Maybe you don't have that comercial in Canada on your stupid t.v. stations from Hell! The devil (My bro) is callin' me up and say even he would not with hold Evolution from us RABID girls, becasue he's afraid of me, and he likes you. You remind him of a young psycopath. Well will see the swine bow before our fangirl feet. Mwahahahahahahaha! Viagra *shudder* Well, okay, but beside sleeping for profit, which you could do by being a theif /proatitute, and not have to bring any witnesses in, there's no reason for sixty year olds to even say libido, much less have one. I can't revenge them anymore! Tey didn't do anything that horrible. It's just had time to fester. I think Jubilee just really really sucks at thinking. You almost felt sorry for him? Tsk. I mean, sure we're fangirls, but c'mon! Zero compasion is a desirable trait for RABID girls, and guys if theree will be any. Thank you. Cheese an' rice, I gotta friend who can be gother than Rogue wearing pink sparkly make-up! I know. The girl gets no sun, why would she need white make up? Beside that, there's only so much white make up can do for ya. That's not even mandatory. I saw this pretty girl with pretty dark (for a goth) skin, and she looked very freaky. I mean, a pretty freaky. It was cool. I have to give her mucho props. If you got hte attitude, and the boots, you're set. Not that the purple make up helps. No eyeliner usually either. that bugs me. If you prank anyone, you have to put a disclaimer saying I gave you the idea, or else I'll sue you for your cool beans. I desire them so much. Nice to hear from you ish.  
  
Disclaimer  
***  
Remy woke up with a groan. Someone was pounding on his door. He had a hang over, very little sleep, and a picture stuck to his forehead. After carefully peeling the photo off of his face, he smiled. That hurt, so he winced, but inside he was still smling. It wsa a picture of him and Rogue sleepig together, in almost teh wayhe'd been musing about on the plane. It was his little bit of mercy in the madness. Logan eventually yelled soemthing about breakfast throught the door. Remy groaned and got out of bed for a shower. Afterward he felt a definite snese of deja vu.  
  
"Rogue, if I di'n't like y' so much I'd defintly get you back f'r dis."  
  
It didn't seem like anyone else got mercy. Sam was sitting in Bobby's room, trying not to kill the boy. Bobby was staringa t the wals, and muttering The Shining quotes under his breath. It was driving Sam nuts. So when Ororo knocked on the door to wake the boys up for breakfast, Sam was thinking about nothing but escaping. Ororo looked at him oddly, and handed a note he supposed had formerly been tape to the door. Sam read it and felt like screaming bloody murder (Red rum). He had once again been caught in the cross fire.  
  
"Ain't telepathy fun?  
Get some sleep now,  
Rogue"  
  
Sam cursed, crumpled hte note up, and threw it at Bobby, who was talking about palying with him forever. After a while Sam had decided it was the most perverted thing he'd ever heard.  
  
Kurt woke up fairly well rested. He got up to answer the door when Hank knocked to wake him up, but Amara beat him to it. Hank's face whenhe saw Amara was priceless. Kurt started laughing and Hank looked at him, and his eyes once again widened more than anyoen thought was possible. Now Kurt was worried. He scratched his very itchy neck, and knew what was wrong. "No." He looked at his arms. Hairless. He was totally hairless, and itchy from razor burn everywhere.  
  
Kurt 'ported into the bathroom, just to see how far the travesty ha dgone. He had fallen asleep in his pajama bottoms, but they were gone. He was indeed hairless, except for where his breifs covered him. He thanked God for that much. Razor burn there would be very uncomfortable.  
  
He wasn't the only one. Amara ran to the bedroom mirror and screamed when she saw her vibrant red face. She scratched at the paint which came off under her beautifully manicured nails, along with a layer of skin. Jubilee happily slept under the bathroom counter, oblivious to the mostly naked Kurt who was oblivious to her.  
  
Scott woke up to Ororo's very aggitated sounding knock. He answered the door, in a loaner pajama top from Sam. Scott remembered how harrased, but wide awake Sam had looked when Scott asked for it. Scott hadn't questioned it, because Ororo had been breathing fire down his neck. Scott had put the shirt on and gone to his room meekly. No use saying he and Jean hadn't done anything, when he wasn't so sure himself.  
  
Now Scott opened the door meekly, seeing an equally meek Jean behind a very miffed and tired looking Ororo and Sam, and Bobby looking like. . .Bobby. Well, Bobby if he were on crack. Scott groaned. The dawn of another perfect day for the Xavier students.  
***  
Short chapter. Moe coming! After Saturday night I'll have a bunch more time! Until then, Happy trails!  
Review!  
Peace and Love,   
Panther Nesmith 


	7. Anarchy in the UK

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Miranda-No more Kurt, Kitty, or Bobby? NO! I can't live like this. And no Psylock either. I woulda happily given up Warren, but Betsy? Damn. Oh, and danke for the the kind review. I'm glad you thought it was ser gut. Yeah, I do like using other languages a lot. My reviews sometimes need a translator. Ah well. No more spoilers please! Glad to hear from ya beb.  
  
Rogue LeBeau- So you get inspired by my writing. Danm, I'm on fire! Woo! I need a fire extinguisher! Yeah! Thanks for the ego boost. I love that you like me.  
  
Ish-Yeah, but the cool beans are. . .cool. They've got Bobby beaten in the cool area (ba dum sss). I'm glad to hear your beans aspire for more. I think that if they actually sat down with a goth and asked 'why?' Rogue's gothness would be so much better. Ah 24/7 Scott torture. Look, Jean AND her clone are going out with Duncan. 'NO!' Mwahahahahahaha! I couldn't see Rogue shaving her brother there. It just didn't work for me. The crack was for you (Damn right I've sold out). Crack is good. Especially in souther pecan coffee. mmm. Depressing trails sound like a John Wayne movie, and we couldn't have that.  
  
Eileen- Ah, so you're still losing your mind. Soon, you will come over to the dark forgetful side. Then you will come over to the dark forgetful side. Yeah, Evo Scott is definitly too uncomfortable to do that sort of thing. You gotta admitt, even if time does pass faster in cartoons, it still took _forever_ to get those two, who, by the way are practically fused together to become Scott-Jean, to even admitt they like each other. It makes you wanna go, 'You can read minds, and you're team leader, and you're just _now_ figuring it out?' So yeah, they're hopeless. Well, um Remy didn't actually have it on in the picture. Rogue put his arm around her, so he would have to be clothed, unfortunatly. Ah well, maybe some other fic, in a side outlet. . . we'll see. Hi!  
  
Solitaire-Rogue is only as evil as she wants to be, so yeah.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I'm disclaiming for two chapters here. I don't think I own anything, lemme check. . .nope, still own nada.  
  
***  
The students congregated in the lobby, where the teachers announced that they were going out for breakfast.   
  
So the students piled back into the vans. There was much less shoving and road rage. Most of the students were exhausted, and Scott, Jean and Ororo were driving their respective cars. This time the girls and boys were all mixed together.  
  
Remy was sitting next to Rogue. He couldn't seem to sit still. Rogue looked at him and laughed. [Hmm, wondah if Ah should say in just seven days Ah can make you a man?]  
  
[Dis would all be worth it if she'd sing de Charles Atlas song dressed up as Tim Curry for me.]  
  
Despite the Rocky Horror underwear three sizes too small, Remy was pretty happy with the current situation. Since Rogue had gotten her revenge, she seemed much more at peace with the world, and even sang along to the Clash CD that they'd all convinced Jean to play. Bobby was singing 'Jimmy Jazz' as Jack Nicholson, and Sam was looking at him with red rum in his eyes. Jubilee was requesting 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' Remy was trying to explain why all of the Clash's big hit songs that everybody knows, came from albums that aren't the pinnacle of modern album music as we know it (AN: London Calling rules!). Roberto was in the back, next to Remy, who was next to Rogue, and Roberto was having a hard time not paying attention to how much Remy was figiting. But then again, the view from where he was sitting ignored wasn't half bad. So, everyone was having fun in that car.  
  
Scott was dealing with Amara, Tabitha, and Kitty's music choice. So, the whole car, including Jamie, Kurt, Ray, and Rahne were cringing in pain. Scott was used to this sort of torture, so it didn't affect him as much as the others. Beside that, it was a sort of penance to him for sleeping in Jean's room. He was now only fairly sure he hadn't done anything. He supposed that perhaps sex was so deeply programmed into the human brain maybe he and Jean had actually done it in their sleep (AN: you be the judge. Maybe they did. I'm not telling).  
  
---  
All of the X-men were seated and gossiping. Well, only a few were gossiping, and Sam was about to fall out of his chair. He was tired enough to fall asleep standing up. So it took the combined efforts of the people on either side of him (Tabitha and Ray) to keep him awake.  
  
Then their food arrived. It looked, as Jamie put it, 'Gross!' Sam tried to eat his food, but he fell asleep mid-bite. He was allowed to sleep in his pancakes for a full twenty minutes while the others laughed. The place actually had good food (if not good looking food) if you weren't stupid enough to order something you wouldn't find at an American Perkins.   
  
Logan had coffee. Or at least attempted to have coffee. They apparently didn't have coffee. He got really mad about the lack of caffeine. He left in disgust to get McDonald's coffee (AN: They have tea here, I'm sure they have coffee there).  
  
"Ah can't believe they don't have coffee." Rogue said, almost in shock. "This is a dinnah, an' they don't have coffee."  
  
Remy, who was sitting next to her and Kurt (who was eating something that no one else would touch); he looked at Rogue and said, "Yeah, they drink tea here."  
  
Rogue frowned, but it lacked any real anger to back it up. It was more like a pout with attitude. "So? It's still supposed ta have coffee! How do they live without coffee? Ah mean, what kind of a drink is tea? That's stupid. Ya can't dunk Oreos in tea!"  
  
"I know, it's a weird an' backward place here. But it's no big deal. Dere's a Starbucks everywhere."  
  
"Truely wise words. Think we should wake Sam up? The only way he's been takin' in food is through osmosis."  
  
Remy looked under the table and lightly kicked Sam, who jerked in his chair, pulling his head out of his breakfast. "Eww. This is pleasant. I smell like an Intahnational House of Pancakes."  
After breakfast everyone split up. The girls, including Rogue, minus Jubilee, went to the mall. The boys, minus Kurt, went to raise a little Hell, after Scott double checked his reservations at the restaurant. Kurt went on Beatles landmark tour. He was bored stiff halfway through, but that was his problem.   
  
---  
Hank, Bobby, and Jamie were going to see a movie. They were all excited about seing it, and were looking forward to a pg-13 action movie. They couldn't wait to see the car chases, the gun fights, the pummelings. They were middle school boys and. . .Hank going to the movies. Violence was what htey wanted, and lots of it.  
  
Jamie bought an icee like drink, Hank bought popcorn,and Bobby snuck twinkies in, saying, in his defense, "I would have bought them from here if they'd sold them."  
  
The boys all settled into their seats and watched the movie. It seemed a little tame for it's pg-13 rating. The violence was half of what it could have been. So the boys were forced to pay attention to the story. That is until the main actress took her top off.  
  
Hank covered Bobby's eyes, while Jamie calmly slurped his icee thing and moved two seats over, out of Hank's reach. Bobby was fighting for his right to watch the movie, and slipped on one of his contraband twinkie papers, sending him flat on his arse. Needless to say, Jamie was the only one who enjoyed the whole movie.  
  
---  
Logan, Remy, and Scott were wandering around London, looking for something to do. They didn't have any real idea of what to do. None of them wanted to got to he overtly tourist attractions, but the fact remained that they were in England for the first time. So they were wandering aimlessly.  
  
Until they passed a pack of punk girls. The girls had heard Scott talking about the restaurant he was taking Jean to, and the girls immediately launched into a stirring rendition of God Save the Queen. . .Sex Pistols style.  
  
Remy, being Remy, stopped to flirt. He was glad that he'd been on an eighties kick, because he knew all the lyrics to the song. So he started singing with the girls. They laughed. Not giggled, like any other pack of girls might do, but laughed.   
  
A balding man in a mini van drove up in front of the girls and they said good bye. One girl, with magenta hair and a dog chain fastened to her black dog collar kissed Remy. It threw him for a loop. Especially when he got scratches in his mouth from her spiked ball tounge ring. She winked at him and got in the mini van along with the other girls.  
  
Scott and Logan looked on, not sure what to make of it. Remy didn't either, really. When the girls' van was out of sight he spit out a little bit of blood from his scratches and tried to get rid of the girl's old milk and waffle breath. Logan started laughing and Scott was still deciding whether what he'd seen was funny or   
  
"Dat was not pleasant. Quit laughin'." Scott laughed, and they continued to wander aimlessly, occasionally stopping to laugh about the whole encounter.  
***  
Okay, more stuff next chapter!  
Review!  
Peace and Love,   
Panther Nesmith 


	8. Of Guards, Bags, and Dates

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Miranda-It does sound like a bad joke. Scott's indian? Didn't see that one coming. They have? Damn New Zealanders! Oops, I mena, your t.v. stations suck! I'm having a RABID rally outside WB; who's with me? Tennesee isn't half as bad as Ohio beb. I got here for vaction. I can talk like Rogue, but it's only from study of the old cartoon and Reboot that I gained my talents. Now I have to learn to stop. Yeah, her evo. accent is more a tone of voice. But then again, where's Remy's accent? It's thicker than old pudding in the old cartoon, and in evo it's barely in the two french words he's said. I'm disapointed. I don't even think he said two! Aadn cherie is a little too familliar for someone who he hasn't even met yet, and was trying to blow up to boot. Sorry, rants are contagious. I'm irked by this. Thanks for the review. It's made me happy, because I get to rant.  
  
Eileen-Sorry I grossed you out. It wasn't much blood. Just a small scratch. I had to make my strange girl on the street wild an unusual, so she macked a guy she didn't even know. It would have been Scott, but he'd freeze up and be a snot about it. I dunno, Remy is sorta a masocist come to think of it. I mean, look at whacha got. A very moody and super strong woman. I'm not ewven bothering to mention her natural powers. She could, in theory, kick his ass with both legs sawed off. And he doesn't seem to bothered about it. Sure, he loves her, but he's probably also a subconscious masocist. not that it gives some English punk the right to hurt him. You're a wander, your mind's a wanderin' it goes around and 'round and 'round. . . thanks for hte review beb. See you next chapter!  
  
Ish- Your best ever, and it DIED? NO! I'll never see it. *sniff* I'm gonna cry. My memory's worse than yours. I thought I updated this puppy a while ago. Turns out I didn't. Bobby is of course more Lumberjack Song than Jimmy Jazz, but I like that song,a nd I like Bobby, so he was singing it to make me happy. I can definitly see JAmie watching Wild Wild Breasts and getting completely corrupted. He didn't ask to be kissed. The girl took her own initative. Beside, Rogue'll never know. Incurring wraith is never fun. I enjoy dishing it out a lot though. It worke dish, ti worked. Don't you cry too.  
  
Rogue LeBeau: Here's some more story for you beb. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
Do I really have to ask you three more times?  
  
***  
  
Jubilee, Sam, and Roberto were in front of Buckingham Palace (AN: Correct me if I'm wrong) looking at the guards who looked like they werestaring off into space.  
  
"How can we get 'em to move?" Sam asked, knowing Jubilee probably had an idea. That was Jubilee's job. It might be a stupid udea, but it would be an idea nonetheless. Jubilee shrugged.  
  
"You guys watched Austin Powers with me, you tell me."   
  
Sam's expression went from understanding to a tiny it of disgust. "You mean you want me or 'Berto to kiss 'em? Not it."  
  
Roberto glared at Sam, but inwardly didn't care all that much. Sothe wanted him to kiss a guy. Big deal. He was mature. He walked up to the guardsman, and kissed him lightly on the lips. The guard didn't move. Roberto sort of pouted. Jubilee and Sam exchanged looks.  
  
"Hey Roberto. . ."  
  
---  
  
Mystique was going to kill Toad. Absoloutly kill him. Number one, she was killing him for being there in the first place. If the brotherhood weren't so incompetent they would be in America eating pizza ad trashingt he house while she was in London geting quality time with her daughter and Xavier's charge card. As it was she was running late, and it was all Todd's fault.  
  
"What's in the bag? Aw come on. I'm hungry! Is there food in here?" Todd said, rummaging through the messenger bag. Mystique cleared her throat. Todd looked up and sort of screamed, while hopping behind Fred. Mystique thought about hurling a lamp at the boys, but knew it wouldn't hit Todd, and wouldn't hurt Fred.  
  
So Mystique glared evilly at Fred. "Unless yo want to be cleaning out the basement for the rest of your natural life, I suggesst you get out of the way Fred."  
  
Fred gave Todd an apologetic look and went to sit next to John and Lance, who were laughing their asses off. Wanda was standing in the corner, tryin not to look amused as Raven lept for Todd's jugular vein, er. . . her messenger bag.   
  
---  
  
Rogue was sitting outside the mall reading Cerulian Sins when Remy and the gang walked by. It wasn't on purpose. They just happened to walk by when Rogue just happened to find disdain for consumerism and the conformist tendencies of the stupid human race. So she was her usual cheerful self.  
  
"Looks like Rogue's enjoying her vaction." Logan noted. Rogue looked up at the men and rolled her eyes.   
  
"Please. If Ah had ta stay in there one more minute Ah'd be the only female on the team. Even Ororo's tryin' on more shoes than Ah think is healthy." Rogue put the Barnes and Noble reciept in her book and offered the other half of the bench to the boys. Remy took it before Scott or Logan thought about sitting down. Rogue almost smiled at him. He stretched his arm acros teh back, and Rogue gave him a look that said 'don't even try it'. He wisely didn't.  
  
"Sorry t' see such a lovely femme all by herself. 'Specially when she's on vacation."   
  
"Ah'm waitin' fo' Risty. She'll be here in about five minutes." Rogue thought about leaning against Remy, knowing full well he'd put his arms around her, and tell the other boys to take a hike. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She inwardly cursed her 'I am a Rock' image (AN: Just to give you a break from punk).  
  
Scott thought about telling Rogue about the punk girl; but when he saw how comparatively happy she looked, he kept his mouth shut. Logan's thought process was pretty much the same.  
  
"So, what are y'all here for? You're not tryin' on shoes too are ya?" Rogue asked, scooting toward Remy the tiniest fraction of an inch. He put the arm that was on the back of the bench behind Rogue's back, and put a folded up note in the waistband of her skirt. She almost gave him a dirty look, but stopped herself when the hand pulled away and Remy stood up.  
  
"Well, we can't hang around here. Saw a pack of punk girls in a minivan. It's way too Spice World around here f'r my taste. Doan go crazy an' kill the otehr girls, okay? De professor'll have t' lecture y' on controling your anger, and won't dat be fun?" Remy said while giving Rogue a laughing smile and turning to leave.  
  
"Pfft. Bye. Have fun doin' whatevah." Rogue said, giving the men adhort wave before going for her book. As soon as they had turned teh corner Rogue had Remy's note open and halfway read.  
  
'Hey  
  
Thought I'd try my own variation of the evil note of doom, as Bobby called it. I'd like you to meet me in the lobby at five tonight, and dress nice.  
  
Well, this was disappointingly short. What else can I say? Oh yeah. Thanks for the picture. I think I'm going to frame it. Or have it blown up and mounted on my wall. I should really put a comment here, but I don't think I will.  
  
I don't really have anything else to say, but this si areally short note. It doesn't really look like much of anything. But I'm better at talking than wrting, otherwise I'd carry a pen and tiny notebook and refuse to speak. Now I've gottten off track. Guess all I really want to write now is. . .  
  
I'll be waiting for you,  
  
Remy'  
  
Rogue looked at the note and wondered what kind of medication Remy was taking, and whether it was the strongest dose and he'd need new medicine soon. She also thought it was sort of sweet in a weird, non poetic sort of way. She also noticed that he wrote a little better than he talked. Not that she preffered it. There was something about the whole thing that was very played out. But then again, there would never be a romance story with any note like that in it. She was still sort of pondering the note, but focusing more on what to wear, when Risty showed up.  
  
"Hey girl! Wha+t's that?" Risty said, plopping down on the bench next to Rogue. Rogue put the note away.  
  
"It's from Remy. He's takin' me out tonight. Either that or he just wants to see me dressed up in the lobby."  
  
"Really? That's great!" Raven gagged inwardly. How could Rogue still be going out with that no good lying cheating. . .  
  
"Earth ta Risty. Are ya in there? Hello?" Rogue waved her hand in front of Risty's face, which had suddenly turned into a sort of glare at the tree in front of the bench.  
  
"Oh, sorry love. I'm kinda upset with my mum right now. Let's get you a dress for this thing." Risty said grabbing Rogue' arm. [I'm going ot get you soemhting very conservatine, something that shows less skin than what you have on now. No way that bastard is even thinking about touching you. I'll make sure of it.]  
  
"Ah comiserate about not gettin' along with ya mom." Rogue said, before heading into the mall. Raven felt guilty, but didn't know what she could do about it. So she went into the mall, intent on making sure Rogue was dressed uber-conservatively.  
  
***  
  
Gotta go, so I hope you enjoyed!  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,   
  
Panther Nesmith 


	9. Fire and Ice Cream

HEy all!  
  
I made two mistakes. One was in chapter five, where I forgot to maention Rogue dyed the tips of Jean's hair green. I fixed it. I also added a line tot eh end of hte previous chapter. I've been grounded,s orry 'bout the delays.  
  
REVIEWS!  
  
Seven-I'm glad you like my story. Tehy do get along really well don't they. I've become the epitome of Romyness. God that's gonna bloat my ego. I would write more, but I'm short on time. sorry beb. next time! Oh, and I can comiserate about needing rcoup time. THis is a shameless, but small plug for Future SHock. I finished manually writing it out, but typing ti out is just like writin it again. I'm in for a bit of depression. Ah well.  
  
Goldylocks-I'm glad of your aproval or Mystique's mommy skills. ROmance all the way bebe. glad you like it!  
  
Ish-I would love to write a whole lot to you, but sadly I'm pressed for time. so, Blog, Smorkfufle, and pigglywiggly for now darling.  
  
Rogue LeBeau-While the dress is pretty conservative, it's not as stark as Mystique would like. You'll see what I mena. Thanks for the review!  
  
Carla-Isn't cheerful evilness fun to read? Glad you like it.  
  
Eileen-I love Mystique too. SHe's in this one a lot. That is a very sweet idea. Aww. Now I'll writee a fic featuring that scene. Aww. Thanks for the plot bunny Eileen.  
  
Miranda-He could steal soemthing from Shaekspear, or he could just be himself. I like him as him. Oh, and yes, he could steal it very easily. But who reads that crap?  
  
Discalimer  
  
goes here.  
  
***  
  
Later that night Jean was sitting in front of her mirror, brushing her shorter and glistening hair. After Rogue had dyed the ends green, She'd gotten a very chic haircut. Jean had to admit she actually liked the change. After going shoe shopping to cure her bithcy impulses Jean had felt strangly fine aboutt he whole episode.  
  
She shook her head and looked and looked backa t her mirror. Not a hair was out of place, so she pulled out a longish dark grey a line shirt and a pastel green buttn down shirt. She pulled on comfy shoes and started pacing her room, very excited about the prospect of going out alone with Scott. It would definitly be a night to remember.  
  
---  
  
Rogue was zonked out on her bed, her hair air drying while she got some much needed zs. Then her alarm clock went off. She blearily tried to knock it on the floor but remembered why she'd set it in the first place and shot out of bed. Then she realized how stupid she must have looked. But then she remembered there was no one watching her anyway.   
  
She ran to her closet to pull out the dress er and Risty had bought. It was shortish, coming down about half an inch higher than her usual skirts. It was dead black,a dn hada jack covering the sleeveless but high backed body of the dress. Rogue tossed the jacket onto her chair, having no intention of ever wearing it. She remembered buying the dress with Risty.  
  
(flashback)  
  
"Please just cover up a littel bit! God, he's already a man-whore, you don't have to do very much to get him excited." [He should be happy oyu're even going out with him. One of these days I'm going to sterilize that boy. Sooner thatn latter if he breaks up with Rogue. Bastard. Horny, oversexed bastard. Rat freaking bastard. . .]  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "You're actin' like a mothah. Not my mothah mind you, but a mother."  
  
Raven got antoher stab of guilt but handed Rogue a very sensible, if a little short, dress with a jacket with shoulder pads. Always a good sign. Rogue rolled her eyes, but went intot eh dressign room to show Risty that she'd look like a grandma in the dress. She almost didn't catch her eye in the mirror before putting on the jacket. But when she did, she decided her and Risty could compromise.  
  
(End flashback)  
  
Rogeu brushed out her hair, realzing it was a littel curly from being air dried. Decidign Remy would probably make some remark about it, Rogue started to wet her hair down. But before she started, she decided he could sit by himself if he was going to be an ass. Beside that, he might not notice. Guys are weird like that.  
  
---  
  
Remy was in his room, basically trying to figure out someway to get some form of transportation. Scott had the car, the girls had one van at the mall, and the other van was m.i.a. along with Amara, who had decided to save the mall for last, and Ororo, who was supervising whatever she was doing.  
  
So he was stuck doing the pedestrian thing. Which bugged the living shit out of him. But it appeared he was s.o.l. on the transport front, since a cab would be way too expensive, and he couldn't pay witha credit card.  
  
He was wondering how big a deal Rogue would make out of 'borrowing' transport when he looked at his clock. He cursed and ran into the bathroom, still in his crappy jeans and t-shirt.  
  
---  
  
Scott and Jean were standing outside of a very fancy restaurant, feeling a little under-dressed. Scott had on dark blue pants and a subdued red sweater, even though he was roasting to death. He'd momentarily forgotten it was spring break.  
  
"Looks nice Scott. You really picked a good place." Jean said, while htey walke dup to the maitre d'.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Summers. For two."  
  
The man looked down at his list. "You're early. I'll have to ask you to wait. Feel free to wait at the bar."  
  
Scott gave Jean an spologetic smile. "Sorry, I forgot they moved it back to accomidate some big party or other."  
  
Jean shrugged ehr shoulders. "It's okay Scott, how long could the party take?"  
  
---  
  
Rogue was sitting in the lobby counting the floor tiles whena slightly out of breath, and still not completely blow dried Remy walked in. She gave him a look that clearly sadi, 'smooth move Romeo.' He smiled and she shook her head.  
  
"Sorry 'm late. Di'n't know what t' wear." He joked, motioning to his clothes, "But in de ed it worked out okay."  
  
Rogeu amiled in spite of herself, secretly still a little irked htat he could make her laugh when she had every right to kick his ass. Well, pretty much every right. SHe shook her head again, this time to get her mind to focus. She wsa still very sleep deprived after all.  
  
"You don't clean up so bad. Ya might even pass fo' good lookin' if ya stay out of the light." Rogue said, giving Remy a loook that dared him to respond to that. So of course he did.  
  
"Guess I deserved that one. Never be late for a date agian, 'less I do the same thing again. As for lookin' cute in de dark, t'ink I'd be okay with stayin' out of the light if you'll sit in the dark with me."  
  
"Okay, that was sweet, horney and kinda creepy all in one. So, exactly where are we goin'? We don't exactly have transport."  
  
"I have no idea. But it's still a littel while until our reservation, adn the tables are never ready on time, so we can figure it out. Worst comes t' worst, we wak there and I feel like crap for a while."  
  
Rogue laughed a little. "The great Remy LeBeau, forced out of his routine by Scott, the mall, an' lord knows what Amara an' Ororo are doin'. As fo' walkin', " Rogue motioned to her polished (yes, she did tae teh effort to do it herself) boots. " Ah think Ah'll be okay."  
  
---  
  
The bar was very high end, butt hen again, so was the whole building. There was only one other person at the bar, a man who did a double take when Scott and Jean walked over, a little leary about the whole bar thing, but Scott couldn't stand outsdie in his sweater for very long.  
  
St. John watched the two X-men with amusement. Turns out fancy restaurants are easy to sneak into if you have very little pride and a lonley woman thinks you're the epitome of manliness. St. John was more than happy to get a free meal out of anyone, especially someone who thought he was sexy. IT was definitly good for his ego.   
  
Currently his 'date' was passed out from drinking too much wine laced, without her knowing it, with tequila. So he was free to hit on anyone he wanted in his never ending search to have a sugar mama/daddy worth hanging around for a while. SO far the bar tender ad aske dhim if he was going to pay for his drinks, but he was pretty sure his cash cow, or bull, was stting in there somewhere. IN the process he gt kinda drunk.  
  
A very tastefully dressed man sat next to St. John, and lit a ciagertte. John perked up and wsa focusing ont eh guy, until he saw the cigarette tip. There were only two things that could drive money and sex out of John's mind, and they were fire, and foreign film. fier because he was obsesed with it, and foreign film becasue he went brain dead just thinking about watching one.  
  
Sh he started to play with the fire. the amn threw his cigarette, and it just happened to land on St. John's date's puddle of tequila and wine. the carpet caught on fire, and John formed it into a fractal looking shape. Did I say sort of drunk? Strike that, make it very drunk.  
  
Scott looked over at the raopidly spreading fire nad saw the woamn lying passed out very clopse to it and the manic expression on St. John's face. Instantly Scott told Jean who used her t.k. to lift he woman away fromteh fire.   
  
By this time the bartender ahd pulled out the fire extinguisher, adn was attemptign to subdue the flames. Then the sprinkler system went off, soaking everyone in the restaurant. It was quickly evacuated and closed.  
  
Scott and Jean were in teh car, watching the rich people bitch about the fire to the the manger, the maitre d' having run for his life long ago.  
  
"Well, that was inerresting." Jena said. "Want to watch a movie back at the hotel?"  
  
Scott started the car's engine. "Sure. But let's do it in one of the conference rooms or something. Ms. Munroe will think we're going to. . .you know if we're in the rooms."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
---  
  
Remy and Rogue looked up when Scott and Jean's car rolled into the parking lot. They still had no idea about transportation, and it was almost time for their reservation. Remy silently thanked whatever twist of fate had delivered the car to him.  
  
Scott and Jean got out, and Rogue immediatly noticed something. "God, you two smell like smoke, an' you're all wet. Where were you?"  
  
"Our restaurant caught on fire." Scott lef tout the par tabout Pyro being there, knowing full well Rogue would refuse to leave if there was even a chance her mother was going to be in the same city as her.  
  
"Was it called Scholium?" Remy asked, figuring the chances were small. But you never knew.  
  
"Yeah. Sounds like you two'll have to figure out soemthing else to do too." Jean said, trying not to look just a little bit happy that the girl who'd pranked her so viciously was getting crapped on. It really wasn't nice at all.  
  
Rogeu sort of laughed. The other three people looked at her, Scott and Jean a little more warily than Remy. Bt then agasin, what did he have to be wary about?  
  
"Well, looks lika not havin' transport saved us from gettin' soaked by the sprinklahs. Sorry 'boutcha date. What are ya gonna do now?"  
  
Jean motioned tot he conference rooms, open to all paying occupants, and currently all empty. "Watch a movie. Take a shower. Go to bed."  
  
Rogue and Remy were practically falling down laughing before Jean amended what she said, a little iritated that they were making fun of her fredian slip. "We're only watching the movie together. You two are so childish sometimes."  
  
Scott starightened his face out, making sure Jean saw no bit of the fact that he'd been laughing just a little too. they went int hte conference room, a very soaking and slightly harrased average american sterotype couple.  
  
Eventually Rogue and Remy stopped laughing. Then they looked at the locked conference door and started laughing again. It took a while for them to calm down.  
  
But they finally did. Remy was sitting on one of the lobby couches with his arm casually around Rogue shoulder. She had laughed so hard she cried and was trying to redo her eyeliner. He started plaing with one of her many goth necklaces before asking her what she wanted to do. She batted his hand away from her neck, feeling it slide down the sheer fabric of a dark grey sheer shirt and pull her eyeliner pen (liquid eyeliner is not a pencil in my book) away form her face.  
  
"Ah dunno. Ah'm starvin'. Let's grab some food, an'. . . go to a park. What the hell." HSe finished her eyeliner, despite Remy's making things as difficutl as possible,a dn put the mirrored coaster back onte h coffee table,a dn the eyeliner pen back in teh cuff of her long gloves. She was just glad she hadn't had to redo her lip stick, since her refusal to bring a purse would hvae nesesitated digging around her dress to locate the lipstick in the first place, probably flashing Remy in the process. Not that he was likely to mind.  
  
"A park? Sounds good t' me. Where you want t' get food from?"   
  
Rogue tought abotu it for a minute, until her stomache rumbled, very loudly protesting the lack of food. "What's closest?"  
  
"McDonalds."  
  
"Fine. Ah wanna see if the burgers taste teh same here."  
  
Remy looked at his date. He'd meant for it to be a joke. They were both dressed up to the nines, and she wanted to got o McDonalds? "We're dressed a littel fancy for that doncha think?"  
  
Rogue's stomache growled, and Remy sighed. Even her organs could bitch. Rogue nodded. "Yeah. It's eithah that or ya have ta explain to people that no there isn't a bear runnin' around London, it's your girlfriend's stomache. Ah'm starved Remy. Practically wastin' away. Ah'm becomin' more an' more emaciated as we speak!" Rogue said, wondering where the sudden burst of drama queeness had come from.  
  
Raven was posing as the desk attendant, and was so far only mad about the fact that Rogue wasn't wearing the jacket that went with her dress. She even had to grudginly admit Remy hadn't molested her daughter and dumped her for the first skirt he'd seen so far. Of course that skirt had belonged to Jean, but still. . . She was also very pleased to hear that Scott and Jean had a horrible date.  
  
"Fine. Don't need t' break out de guilt trip chere. A simple 'Let's go freak some fast food workers out' would have been enough."  
  
"When have we evah done the simple thing?" Rogue asked before knocking on the conference room door to ask Scott for the keys to the car.  
  
"True. 'M drivin'."  
  
Rogue shook her head. "Uh uh. Ah'm drivin'."  
  
"You picked de restaurant."  
  
"It's McDonalds!"  
  
"Y' shoulda picked better. I'm drivin'."  
  
Rogue pulled the keys out of Scott's hands. Scott was torn between watching Rogue and Remy argue, or watching some Meg Ryan movie. Eventually Rogeu made the descision for him by giving him a rather pointed glare. "Thanks fo' the keys Scott." Scott got the drift and went back to watching the crappy chic flic with his girlfriend.  
  
Rogue looked at Remy, and then bolted for the car, Remy right behind her. It was actually a sort of close race. Remy had longer legs, ands could run pretty fast, but Rogue had no problem with her shoes being too dressy to run in right, and she also had no qualms about lightly elbowing him the stomache. It was only by the slightest lead that Remy won.   
  
Rogue held up the keys and deposited them in her dress next to her lipstick. Remy had to decide whether he should grab the keys, or start the car without them. Rogue sat in the passenger seat, giving him a very haughty look. He decided he'd worry about the keys later, and bent under the dashboard. Rogue sighed and fished the keys out.  
  
"Fine, if you're gonna hot wire the damn car take 'em."  
  
Remy looked at her. "Can I get 'em out of your bra?"  
  
She shoved the keys in his hand, and he noticed how warm they were. Giving Rogue a very sexy smile, which she rolled her eyes at, Remy started the car.  
  
---  
  
The woman behind the counter was pissed. They could see that int he way she made the customer in front of them cower behind his newspaper. Remy leaned down next to a still minorly miffed Rogue. "Dat's you in another life." Rogue rolled her eyes. She also smiled.   
  
"Good luck orderin' our food." she said teasingly. Remy turned her head so he could look her in the eyes.  
  
"I c'n get you to smile even though y' wanted to drive, I can handle a fast food worker. It's all in how y' say things."  
  
Rogue shook her head. "Can you go five minutes with flirtin' with someone?"  
  
Remy thought about it for a minute, giving Rogue enough time to get worried. "Nope. But I'd rather flirt with you dan a fast food lady."  
  
"Thanks" Rogue said sarcastically, but giving him a look that clearly said she got the joke.  
  
"May I _help_ you?" The woman spat. She was tall, and very pretty. but she was frowning and glaring at the fry cook occasionally.  
  
Mystique was posing as a hungry customer, watching her daughter's boyfriend order.  
  
"Yeah, I'd like two nuber threes an' de answer t' my question. What's abeautiful woman like you doin' in a job like dis?"  
  
The woman's face lightened up. She pressed the bottons a little less forcefully, and even refraind from smacking the fry cook.  
  
After their food we paid for, the wman motioned for Remy to come closer to her. ROgue kept a very close watch on the woman as seh said, "If you want you can have ice cream on me. . .I mean, I'll pay for the ice cream. . .I'll give you free ice cream."  
  
Remy smiled while Rogue glared at the woman. "Merci. I appreciate that very much." He said, smiling in a very non-provactive way and heading toward the dingi room, with his arm around Rogue's waist as she carried the food.  
  
They sat next to a woman, who was about twenty one, and started eating, laughing about the earlier scene. Mystique went into the bathroom and morphed into Risty, to keep Remy in check.  
  
***  
  
Up next, bimbos and bag ladies!  
  
REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
PAnther Nesmith 


	10. Cold Fission Splitting the Atom

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
(older reviews I missed)  
  
wOLF-I know you'll eventually read this, so. . .hurry up and catch up, and thanks for playing along!  
  
Gaea-I thought they would have coffee, but I'm an american pig, so I made a sterotypical joke. No offense ment. It was just for a laugh beb. Um, you did at least giggle a little, right? There are Starbucks everywhere. As George Carlin put it, "There is now a Starbucks in my pants."  
  
(New reviews which I really missed while I was grounded)  
  
Ish-Darn you! Ah well. Sorry to hear you're rushed. I like to go slow. You seen the X-men movie? I think my current sitch spells something, but it might be asskicking. Ish, btw, I've been working on somehtign happy to cheer you up. God help me.  
  
Scythe-I only have recomendations until I can go to the library, but I'll definitly check her out. Glad you like Rogue's taste in books.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
If my hsadows have offended think but this and all is mended, I own naught, and have never been east of Western Florida, ornorht of Columbus Ohio.  
  
***  
  
When Risty got out of the bathroom she saw Rogue giving the twenty one year old woman a very icy glare, and slurping her soda in such a way that suggested she would be just as happy to dump the whole works in the blonde's hair. Remy was politely ignoring her flirting. She was deseratly trying to get Remy's attention while totally ignoring Rogue. [I can't believe he hasn't dumped Rogue for the bimbo. Might want to save her the embarrasment of being dumped for a college slut.]  
  
Risty caught Rogue's arm just as she was about to wail the cup into the blonde's pretty hair. Risty then walked over to the blonde and sat down on the table, blocking her veiw of Remy.  
  
"Excuse me. That man belongs to my friend, and I'd thank you to leave him alone."  
  
The blonde looked around the ticked off shape shifter turned high school girl. "Don't see a wedding ring. Makes him fair game to me."  
  
Rogue was about to throw the table at the blonde when Risty shifted her face, just enough to scare the holy shit out of the girl, but not enough for Rogue or Remy to see. The girl jumped out of her chair, grabbed her food, and left. Risty hopped off the table.  
  
"Thanks Risty. What are ya doin' here?"  
  
Raven thought fast. "I was hungry and my mum hasn't picked me up yet, so I tought I'd grab a bite to eat." [Way to pull that one out of your ass Raven.]  
  
"Oh. Well thanks." Rogue said, subtley motioning toward the door. Raven ignored this as Rogue sat down, giving Risty a warning look. [Don't you dare turn out ta be just as shallow as the college girl or Ah swear Ah'll kill ya, friend or not.]  
  
Risty sat across from Rogue, pointedly ignoring Remy. "So, where are you two heading now?" Rogue fought the urge to simultaneously sigh in relief and growl in frustration. Rogue gathered up her partially eaten food and wrapped it up in the burger paper.  
  
"The park. Now. C'mon Remy." Remy got very defensive vibes off of Rogue, and irritation mixed with. . .something else. He wondered why Risty always had such weird emotions around Rogue. Maybe she was gay. It would explain why Rogue was her only friend. High school girls are pretty catty about stuff like that. He wondered how he could ask without being called a pig.  
  
"Great! You can walk me to my house! There are some very scary punk girls here." Risty said, while Remy got a little nervouse. If Risty knew about that she'd definitly tell Rogue, and that would really ruin their first date.  
  
Fortunatly for Remy, Risty had no idea about the Sex Pistol punks he had. . .encountered. She was talking about an incident at the mall with the same group of punks, when the same punk girl tried to kiss Rogue. The pierced punk had a shiner to show for her efforts. Rogue glared at her friend.  
  
"Risty, can Ah talk to ya outside? Now." Rogue grabbed her friend's arma dn dragged her out of hte restaurant. Rogue had to refrain form pinning Risty to the wall like a the school bully demanding lunch money in some sterotypical school set comedy.  
  
"Risty, Ah appreciate whacha did fo' me in there, but if ya don't back off an' let me an' Remy be, Ah'll nevah talk to you again. Ah hate ta dump ya ovah a guy, but you are actin' like a royal bitch, an' Ah don't see reason fo' it. Ah've nevah acted like that to you."  
  
Risty looked extremey hurt. "I'm just watching out for you love. He's the world's biggest man-whore and I don't want to se you get hurt."  
  
"So he's gonna hurt me? Ah'm not good enough ta be the dumper _an'_ Ah'm gonna get knocked flat on mah ass the day he leaves me? Ah thought we knew each othah." Rogue said, and Raven saw that Rogue had picked up a few of her better glares.  
  
"It's not that you're not good enough. Far form it. He's not good enough, he'll use you, until he almost kills himself because of his powers, and because he's a shallow sex fiend he'll leave you for the first short shirt or pair of low riders he sees."  
  
Rogue would have bared her teeth and growled. She wished fevrently for Rahne's wolf morphing powers. She settled for a very peircing glare. "Go home Risty. Ah don't want ta talk to ya any more."  
  
Risty walked away, giving a good show of humility. [I'll just have to get more creative. That rat bastard's turned her against her best friend! I'd love to rip his throat out and watch his blood drain intot he gutter. I wonder if this is how Jack the Ripper started out?]  
  
Remy walked out with their food, sans ice cream, and nudged Rogue slightly. "C'mon chere. It's a nice night. Let's walk t' de park. Mebe y' can blow off a lil' steam."  
  
Rogue nodded, glad that Remy hadn't insisted on taking the crappy car. The only music in there was the local radio, and Rogue was no huge fan of Euro pop.  
  
***  
  
Well, I'm updateing quickly again!  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,   
  
Panther Nesmith 


	11. Hot fussion Joining the Atoms

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Rogue LeBeau-Thanks bebe! Glad to hear from you!   
  
Ish-Of course I'm gonna cheer you up! Ican't let you get all depressd! You're too insane to be depressed, not telling what the two of us would do if needed prozak. Yes, Mystique can't win. . .duh. But I know whacha mean. Risty is gay, but that's beside the point. A Risty, Rogue, Remy love triangle? That's way too many 'R's I'll never keep it straight (ha! Straight, I'll never. . .nevermind). My thoughts exactly. Euro pop is not approved of by the Devil, and my brother loves eveything. You weren't traumatized ebfore? I haven't been doing my job properly. I want to impact people with my writing, so that if I decide to be a psychologst, I'll be rich. Mwahahahahahaha! Ooh! Two evil laughs in two responses! Booya! Ug, did I just type that? Someone smack me. Thank God it's almost summer. Anyway, see you soon!  
  
Eileen-I know how ya feel. I hated being grounded, I felt like i was missing out on stuff. You forget the internet is millions of billions of people all hooked together and usually with mroe free time than us, huh? YEah teh woman with him was pretty lonely, but hse goes home with a very nice firefighter and they get married and don't have any kids. I think they can't be that clean cut all the time. I bet they're shagging each other's brains out in that conference room. Well, Mystique did miss out on a lot of mommying. Maybe she's trying to make up for it. OR maybe she just want an excuse to kill Rmey. Who kows with her? As for being a womanizer, I couldn't write him like that, even if I did (do) think it's in character. I'm not that evil. Now if they have a huge falling out, maybe. He really wasn't a womanizer. Man-whore is closer, but womanizer sounds more insidious. Isn't the park at night awesome? I lovew it. Um, not exactlly a racoon. . .  
  
Disclaimer  
  
If my hsadows have offended think but this and all is mended, I own naught, and have never been east of Western Florida, ornorht of Columbus Ohio.  
  
***  
  
The park was a beautiful clump of trees and paths and such. The trees cooled the sidewalks, and shaded Rogue and Remy from the streetlights. Rogue had calmed down during the walk from McDonalds to the park. She was holding Remy's hand, but slightly glaring at any one they passed on the street, as if daring them to be her possibly gay, but defintly bitchy best friend. Remy eventually got her to stop that, by telling her a story about something or other that hit her rather wicked sense of humor. The one about Pietro running in on John in the shower if his memory served him right.  
  
The first thing they did in the park was find a park bench to finish up their food. Rogue spread her burger and slightly cold fries out on her lap as a squirrel positioned itself so as to see her date, especially his hands. Raven was now very paranoid he'd been using his charm to make her daughter jealous, so he could take her to the park and molest her. Proabbly some psycho killer like Ted Bundy and the poor girl didn't even suspect! This could not happen. Not if there was anything she could do about it. Beside, it was either this or watch the BBC. An easy choice to make. [Okay, you bastard I swear if you even think about touching her I'll. . .where's that hand going?]  
  
Remy finished his food first, because he hadn't spent so much time in the restaurant glaring evilly at a college girl like his date. So when he was finished there were still quite a few fries left in Rogue's lap, even though the burger was gone. He quickly grabbed one and Mystique almost jumped on him, relying on her sharp squirrel teeth to do serious damage. She only relaxed a hair when he popped the fry in his mouth, giving Rogue a very childish grin. She shook her head.  
  
"Ah thought Ah wasn't supposed ta notice ya took somethin'. Didja give that grin to every girl ya stole from, or am Ah special?" She siad, equally playful, and making it obvious, to avoid any chance of an arguement. The first week she'd known him had been spent constantly plotting ways to kill him and get away with it, because they tended to fight a lot. They were sort of like oil and vinegar. But she really wasn't thinking htat hard about salad dressing at the time.  
  
Then there was that damn, 'You so totally like him' meeting. Rogue almost felt bad for pranking the people who were responsible for her current situation, until she remembered she was fighting with her best friend, eating cold fries in a very uncomfortable dress. Then it seemed alright.  
  
"Don't see de point in coverin' my tracks. Don't see how you could hurt me." Remy said, equally joking. Rogue raised her eyebrows at him.  
  
"Oh yeah? Ya wanna change that?" She said, standing up, giving him a competative look. He stood up too.  
  
"Nope." He ran down the nearby path, Rogue in hot pursuit, being tailed by the sadistic squirrel.  
  
Eventually he found the spot he'd been trying to get her to. It was close enough to the river to be able to see it, but still pretty far away, on top of a sort of hill. He slowed down as he approached it, letting Rogue catch up.  
  
He made a slight miscalculation on how far behind him Rogue was, and she crashed into him. Raven was once again, halfway to tearing Remy' throat out before they untangled themselves and Rogue put three feet of space between her and Remy.  
  
"Sorry. To much momentum, an' ya stopped real quick." Rogue said, making sure her clothes hadn't torn.  
  
"No problem. T'ink m' internal organs'll stop bleedin' an second now." Remy said, leaning back on his hands. Rogue smiled at him.  
  
"Ya mean Ah hurt ya? Oh. Guess ya lost ya bet. Ah would feel sorry for ya, but. . .nah."  
  
"Glad t' know y' care chere." Remy said, smiling playfully again. Rogue shook her head.  
  
"We can't flirt like normal people. Ah threaten ta do horirble things ta your body, an' you turn it so that it sounds sexy. Masochist."  
  
"Well, if that's how y like it, God bless sadomasochism."  
  
Rogue laughed and moved closer to Remy. Within arm's reach, but not right on top of him. Though he would have enjoyed that immensly. That's when they realized how tired they really were. Rogue moved over and leaned on Remy, who leaned back, so they were holding each other up. Then they fell asleep.  
  
Raven hoppe dout of the tree and wondered what to do. Then an idea belted her across the head. She morphed into a derelict woamn and grabbed a tattered skirtful of rocks. She stared lobbing them at Remy. Slow, easy tosses at first, with small pebbles. Then the rocks got bigger, and the throws got harder.  
  
Eventually one hit Remy hard enough to wake him up. He jumped a little and Rogue groaned, before trying to bury her head in he rpillow, which just happened to be his shoulder. Her head moved down to his chest, and Remy was _fully_ awake. The bag lady threw one more rock at him, dead center of his forehead as hard ad he could. He caught it, and scowled at her. She left, muttering under her breath, half morphing into an owl the whole time.  
  
Remy noticed that Rogue was still asleep. He shook her forehead, marveling at how she could turn him on in her sleep. But then again, that would be the most obvious place to do it.  
  
Finally Rogue woke up. She noticed her surroundings and almost smacked Remy's chin with the back of her head. Then she noticed that he had a lapful of rocks.  
  
"Huh. Ah'm sleepin' onya an' you're checkin' out the local geology. Should Ah be offended?" Rogue siad, not mentioning what else she'd seen looking at his lap.  
  
"Dere was some creepy bag lady throwin' stuff at me."  
  
"Weird." Rogue said, trying to stand up. SHe eventually succeded. SHe stretched, and er skirt rode higher up on her thighs, which the still seated Remy gota really good look at. Raven smiled as er daughter sexually tortured er bboyfriend, but for some reason, probably his own greasy hide, he wasn't pulling her clothes off and trying to have sex with her.  
  
"So, who's drvin' home?" Rogue said, suppressing a yawn.  
  
Remy shook his head. Neither of us seem t' be awake. We can walk and get de car tomorrow. Let's jes' wlak home, 'kay?"  
  
Rogue nodded sleepily. Raven would have yawned if owls _could_ yawn. Her daugther's powers would stop her from getting raped (there, she thought it), if the can of mace Raven knew she carried in her bra didn't. ROgue could watch herself until Risty went to apologize for being a bitch the next morning. Raven flew off to get some well deserved (in her opinion) sleep.  
  
---  
  
Remy and Rogue walked about two blocks before Remy had to stop because of is over dressy shoes, and Rogue had to stop becasue of exhaustion.  
  
"Chere, at dis rate we're gonna be stranded in Englan' b'fore we get t' de hotle. I'll get some money out, an' we'l take a cab.  
  
Rogue nodded. "Soun's good. We gotta make surewe stay awake long enoug."  
  
"'S only twenty minutes." Remy pionted out.  
  
"Good point."  
  
***  
  
Well, I'm updateing quickly again!  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,   
  
Panther Nesmith 


	12. Banshee has competition

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Rogue LeBeau- The sciency names sorta describe what's goin' on. In Fission, the splitign of the atom, Rogue and Risty (the atom) fall apart, never to be friends again. In Fussion, the joining of the atoms, Rogue and Remy get cozier than I've usually allowed them to get. Of course, large doses or Nyquil helped to calm Rogue down enough for this, but still, it happened. Rogue, for the answer to the touching question, stick around. I may, or may not do it. I'm undecided.  
  
riah yaps-I'm glad you think my fic is 'mad'. I assure you, it is absoloutly certifiable. It's under teh table and dreaming. It's coiming out of left field,a dnmaybe even a little bit weird. Nice to hear form you.  
  
Eileen-I got your first review, so 'm working against the conspiracy. As for serending me with your pardoies, Weird Al is safe in his job, but it ws good none the less. For everything else you wrote about, here's my original response. I've had that problem too. Mayhaps it's the site? I've been getting a lack of bandwidth from ff.net for a few days now. I love all my creations, even the lonely lady. I loved writing the part where Mystique's throwing rocks. This is what comes of the short walk home from school more often than not. I dread to think what my stuff now will look like once I only see my fellow coruptee on Wednesdays. Ah well, I'll live. Well, she is. I mean, Mystique is bi, so Risty would be too. I can't spell squirrel either. Sadistic squirrel. I'm working that into my comic book when I'm rich enough to employ the artists and publishers. Oh, and the staying awake? Not gonna happen.  
  
Ish-I got your first review, but thatnks for the second! I'm just gonna keep my respose for the first one, 'kay? OH, and as for the interpretive dance, that wsa uber-cool. Thank you for that Ish. I needed it. *rubs face* Ow. Oh come on. Rogue's freakin' Snow White, animals follow her everywhere. Beside, they were a little preoccupied with the slight sexual tension I've allowed them. They like to do that sort of thing. I say, 'Hey, guy, girl, let's do this funny thing to show off how well you two have adapted to each other.' And he always asks, 'Can we work some sex in some how?' Rogue usually slaps him, but since there are no mutants here, thus no powers, they usually wind up making out in my computer room. The only way to stop it is get the hose and write sexual tension. So here it is. Oh, and trust me, the water bill's gone way up since I let them be my SouS muses.  
  
Joe-More Scott/Jean? Hmm. I'll try. They feinitly come into play again, but it's not nessisarily together. I may write a one shot about them. I'm undecided. thanks for droppin' me a line!  
  
Gaea-Glad I got a rise out of ou. Have you actually tried to read a chapter w/out laughing? I'm glad you can see past my raging ignorance of England to see the heart and soul (feel free to laugh now) of this fic. Glad to keep you laughin' beb!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
You're not missin' much for sure, only everything that's yours, and at times it fails and we're for sale in the gutter. Is this home 'cause I forgot, if it is then thanks a lot, 'cause I can't pretend to know one end from the other.  
  
***  
  
Two minutes after they got a cab, Rogue and Remy were sound asleep. The driver noticed this and began driving around London, ringing up a much higher bill for the two wayward southerners.  
  
Eventually, two hours later, Rogue woke up. Her first instinct was to go back to sleep and forget about it. She then realized that she was leaning against Remy, and that he was sound asleep. Then she remembered were she was. She elbowed Remy in the side. He pulled his hand from her waist and groaned. Rogue tried to ignore what this did to her already abnormally high hormone level.  
  
"Remy! Wake up. Where are we?"  
  
Remy woke up real fast after hearing that.  
  
"What de hell? Where are we?"  
  
The cab driver turned around and realized the jig was up. He looked at the two tourists like a lion looks at the feeding guy.  
  
"I'm not payin' for dis! Y' were supposed t' drive us home!" Remy said, _very_ pissed off by this turn of events. Rogue was also mad. She was just too tired to do anything about it.  
  
"You don't pay I'll call the bobbies on you. Not my fault you fell asleep."  
  
"I doan have de money f'r dis."  
  
"You got a credit card? There's an ATM right there." The man pointed to the cash machine. "Put the card in, give the money to me, I'll take you home."  
  
Rogue sighed and grabbed the credit card out of Remy's pocket, stalking out of the cab, lightly zapping thhe cab driver to see how much they would owe. SHe got out the exact amount they would need and glared at eh driver. "Drive now. Drive fast, get us home, an' maybe Ah'll tink about tippin' ya."  
  
The cab driver burned rubber to their hotel. Rogue paid him, saying a few choice words before he sped off. He didn't have to work anymore that night.  
  
Rogue and Remy walked into the lobby. Remy collapsed on the couch. Rogue layed down in front of him and his arms wrapped around her waist. In Remy's mind they got up a second later, after somehow finding out Rogue was miraculously able to touch, and they didn't leave his room until early afternoon. But in reality, they were asleep on the couch in two seconds flat.  
  
----  
  
Risty walked into the lobby, cursing herself for forgetting the room number of Rogue's room. Of course, she forgot everythign else when she saw _her_ daughter in _his_ arms. Jean and Scott were awakened by an inhuman scream followed by the sound of a breaking lamp and two people yelling.  
  
Remy was awake when al hell broke loose. He had just woken up, but couldn't decide why. He noticed the close proximity of his date fromt he night before and smiled, kissing her hair. He looked up when he realized what had woken himup was an extrodinaryly large amount of anger coming form. . .Risty. He smiled at his possible rival for Rogue's affection. Then Risty whaled on him with a lamp, waking Rogue up.  
  
Rogue glared at Risty and stood up, catching the other girl's arm just as she was about to stob Remy with the broken base of the lamp. Remy watched as Rogue pushed Risty back. Even thought he was a little dazed, he knew that Risty was giving off murderous vibes. Call it experience if you will.  
  
Jean got out of the chair she had fallen asleep in. Scott moved his head and fell back asleep when he saw Jean was taking care of it. It was his vacation too afterall.  
  
The first thing, beside the side of Scott's head, Jean saw that morning was Risty trying to claw Remy to death. Remy was holding is head blearily in the middle of a mass of broken glas and a lampshade. Rogue was holding her former best friend back from killing her boyfriend. The yelling was coming from the warring females. Remy as checking to make sure he wasn't bleeding.  
  
Jean put Risty in a telepathic bubble. Risty pounded against the sides. "Dammit! Let me out! I have a right to look after my daughter!"  
  
Rogue's face went through twelve different reactions before she went calmly to the elevators, waited for one to reach the bottom floor, got in, and screamed as loud as she could. Remy winced and went after her, deciding not only would he get major browinie points for being there during his girl's crisis, but that Raven was less likely to kill him in front of her daugther. Helooked back at Risty, who had morphed back into Mystique. Befor egetting on the elevator, Remy said, "Dat explains a lot."  
  
---  
  
Logan was out behind the hotel meditating when Rogue and Risty's fighting broke him out of his almost zen. He shook his head and went back to concentrating when he heard a very angry and hurt scream coming fromthe hotel. A deaf man would have heard it to tell the truth. So he ran into the lobby, figurative guns blazing, ready to protect the X-girls at all costs.  
  
What he saw was Mystique trying to fight her way out of Jean's telekinetic bubble, while Scott ran to the stairs to get reinforcements. Logan rushed in ready to defend Jean while the rest of the X-men were waking up to the sound of Rogue screaming. She only seemed to stop for air, or to throw something. Logan winced and concentrated on Mystique. Eventually Rogue's voice gave out and Logan could think straight again.  
  
"What happened here?" Logna said, looking at Mystique inthe bubble.   
  
Jean sighed. "Guess who Risty is."  
  
Logan looked at Mystique, who was still hearing her daughters enraged screams. In fact, very few people didn't hear her enraged screams. Logan circled the bubble, lookign Raven over like he'd never seenher before.  
  
"What are you looking at?" It was all she could think to say. Half of her mind was in Rogue's room impaling Remy with a lamp and comforting her daughter. So she wasn't in her best form. She was also in the worst possible mood. She was sure she'd finally lost all hope of connecting with her children.  
  
"A very sad woman. Let her go int he parking lot Jean. I"ll keep an eye on her." Logan said giving Mystique a look.  
  
Out int ehparking lot Mystique almost bolted for her car. She hated the fact that this. . .animal, was closer to both her children than she was. The world hated her she decided. And the way eh kept following her was really pissing her off.  
  
"Fine. I lost. Game over. Rogue will never go near me again. I'm gone." Mystique fumbled for her car keys, curisng herself for having such a large amount of keys int he first place. Logan moved to her car, leaning against the driver's side door.  
  
"What do you want!" Mystique roared, fully prepared to rip his jugular vein out, and sort of wshing he'd grow another one, just so she could rip _it_ out too.  
  
"I'm going to teach you how to be a good mommy."  
  
***  
  
Hope you all enjoyed!  
  
Review!  
  
Peace and Love,   
  
Panther Nesmith 


	13. Fluff, undies, and a Goth Girlfriend sup...

Hey All!  
  
I have officially had it with ff.net. This would have come out a full weeka go if not for the fact I couldn't upload. So, I am now posting my fics in different place. I will finish the sous here, and probably post everything here as well, but the link in my author's page will give you tha site that has become my new first priority. Also, the revised earlier SouS stories will be there.  
  
I'd also like to thank Lyrit for helping me through my crisis. Read her story the Mutant Journals. Es muy bien!  
  
Reviews  
  
Rogue LeBeau-I was refering to the rampant screaming Rogue does in the last chapter. She literally screams her voice away. Seemed to me like Banshee had competition. And yes, Sean Cassidey is still in Scotland with Moira and the prof.  
  
Ish-I'm not on crack. Fire, maybe. But not crack. As for the universe, it's totally the SOUS universe. Black becomes off white, up becomes sort of down, left starts turning more toward the right, the peanut butter tastes kinda like jelly. And yes, Remy will comfort Rogue. Duh. Oh, and an unexpected twist comes sort of from this later. I get some more BoM action in.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
Hey, guess what, I'm not bothering witht his anymore. You know I own nada.  
  
***  
  
Rogue didn't hear the knock on her door. Remy decided that she'd been alone long enough. He'd stood outside her door while she screamed, not wanting to go deaf or get a table thrown at him. But Rogue was dead silent now. He tried to get a feel for her emotions, but they were too mixed up and there were too many to make heads or tails of them. So he opened her door. He briefly wondered if he should tell the hotel people they had gotten gyped by the people who installed the locks.  
  
Rogue was lying on her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling, no emotion at all on her face. Remy wondered how she would react to him being in there. He really hoped Rogue wouldn't be mad at him for trying to help. She could be like that sometimes.  
  
Rogue looked over at Remy and motioned for him to sit down next to her. Which he did. He looked down at Rogue, who looked like she had been sort of crying. Not enough to make her eyes look puffy and sore, but enough that her eyeliner was ruined.  
  
"Y' upset." He felt like an idiot, but Rogue was conspicously silent. He got a little more worried when she didn't make a sarcastic remark about wat he'd said. All she did was nod.  
  
He tried to wipe a little of the eyeliner mess away, but Rogue smacked his hand. None too lightly either.  
  
"Y' doan wan' t' be touched."  
  
Once again Rogue nodded. Remy got it then. "Y' screaed your voice away." Rogue nodded and looked at Remy expectantly. He knew what she expected but couldn't help. "I doan know what t' say."  
  
Rogue looked past him. Her emotions were clearing up, and she was feeling very hurt. He wanted to hug her, to do something to make her feel better. He looked down when he heard her try to talk. He almost couldn't hear her. "Me either."  
  
Remy felt horrible. He hated seeing Rogue so vulnerable. He'd caught her crying, and the whole 'My mom was posing as my best friend thing' was probably eating her up inside. So he felt bad for her, and with her.  
  
"'M sorry chere. Not de bes' way t' start de day."  
  
Rogue shrugged. She rapsed out a sigh like concrete and pushed her hair away from her face. Remy smoothed it back, wondering if Mystique would come bursting through the door any second. It would definitly be like her.  
  
"Y' gon' be okay?"  
  
Rogue didn't respond right away, and Remy had a tiny panic attack. She was already really hard to reach, if this pushed her over the edge. . .Rogue might not be able to cope. He didn't know if he could handle that.  
  
"Y' hear me?" He asked. Rogue heard how worried he was, and looked at him again. She saw the half worry half fear in his face and once again forced her aching vocals to respond. She wished se had somehting to tell him.  
  
"Thinkin'," was her well thought out response. She watched most of the worry melt away and was happy for the small favor. There was no point in him being worried about her. She would survive this like everythign else.  
  
Remy nodded, now not quite as worried, but he wasn't exactly relieved either. But he would live with her answer for the time being. He didn't think he'd answer any differently.  
  
"Guess I can' blame y'." He leaned down so he was laying next to her. Rogue didn't move. Which was probably a good thing. She usually let him move closer. But if she wasn't in the mood for human companionship she would move or get up and leave. So she wasn't pushing him away, but wasn't looking for him to comfort her either. Therefore, Rogue was still herself.  
  
"Mebe y' should try t' understand her."  
  
Rogue looked at him. Remy tried to divine her reaction to his idea, but couldn't begin to place her emotions. She had about twelve alone in her eyes. But eventually her eyes clouded over, and he figured she was thinking over what he'd said. They were quite for a minute while Rogue pondered Remy's advice. Finally she found enough voice to say, "'S hard."  
  
"I know chere." Remy decided this would be the time to leave Rogue alone with her thoughts. She didn't seem to be suicidal or anit-social, so she would probably be okay. But she would need time alone. He almost got up to leave, but Rogue grabbed his shirt. Remy lay down next to her again. She gave him an attempt at at smile.  
  
"Thanks." Remy put a gloved hand on her lips.  
  
"Shh. Y' welcome. Doan hurt y' voice talking to me."  
  
Rogue gave him a better attempt at a smile and kissed his chest where she'd grabbed his shirt, since it was the closest thing to her. Remy kissed the top of her head. He put his arms around her, and they stayed like that for a minute or two. Remy could feel Rogue slowly falling asleep. Not wanting to wake her if she feel asleep in his arms, Remy let go of her; and sat next to her until she went to sleep.  
  
Not that he wanted to leave her. He really wanted to stay and make sure she was still okay when she woke up. But if he was caught by the adults in her room, it would add insult to injury, and neither of them needed that. He went to his room and changed his clothes. While Rogue was exhausted from everything, Remy was wide awake. Which comforted him, since he would probably be sleepy if he had a concussion. He carefully combed his hair, before abandoning it because of the large knot on his head.  
  
---  
  
Tabitha had hit the mall early that day. She was a kleptomaniac, and she had two weeks of almost risk free shoplifting to do. The whole different country thing was cool, but store cameras that had never seen Tabitha was even better. Currently she was checking out women's underwear, standing in the aisle, leaning her elbows on the edge of the bin, giving anyone who cared to look a good view of her tiger striped panties.  
  
The pair of underwear Tabtitha was currently contemplating had the words 'Bow Down' written above the crotch. Suddenly she grew two more arms, which grabbed a red vinyl thong, with a zipper in the front.  
  
"I like these." Tabtitha tunred around in the man's arms to come face to face with St. John.  
  
"What are you doin' in Engalnd?" Tabitha asked him, flirtling wickedly. He was cute, she was horney; it made sense at the time.  
  
"Mystique's stalkin' you guys. Look in your bushes tonight, she'll be there. Be careful what you throw away, she's probably in your garbage too."  
  
Tabitha laughed. A low sultry laugh. John smiled at her wickedly. She returned the favor.  
  
"Screw the underwear, let's grab some food." Tabitha said, dragging the very interrested Aussie to the food court.  
  
---  
  
Remy was wandering around some random tourist thingy. He was watching all the toursits, not really paying attention to the attractions. His actions can be justified if you realize old habits die hard. So he coldn't be blamed for watching the tourists like a cat with a mouse. But he was also keeping himself mostly in check. [Okay, you can do this. If Logan smells someone else on y' money. . .could say I got change. . . NO! Hands in pockets. . .y' own pockets!]   
  
So Remy wsa desperate to find something to take his mind of tourists and their oh too accesible money.  
  
Speaking of desprate, Toddw as there with Wanda. When Remy realized this he watched the two like a hawk. He could at least track the brotherhood for a little excitement. Not to mention Todd would probably do something, like pick pockets, that Remy could 'talk' to him about.   
  
Remy noticed that Todd was striking out really badly. So, the still reforming thief decided to help the lovelorn frog boy change his image for _his_ goth goddess.  
  
"C'mon snuckums you can't ignore me forever. Oh please look at me."   
  
Remy winced, almost in physical pain at how badly Todd was doing. He walked over to the poor boy and dragged him into a near by alley, stopping any cries for help (which would have been ignored anyway) by putting his hand over Todd's mouth. Rmey almost instantly regretted this, but didn't let go of Todd until they were out of Wanda's earshot.  
  
Todd looked at Remy in fear. the last time they'd been this close he'd threatened to splatter Todd all over the walls. Not something you forget easily. "W-what do you want?" Todd tried to sound brave, and did manage to not sound like he was going to pee his pants at any second.  
  
"Y' wan' Wanda t' pay attention t' you? Rule number one: Never, _ever_ beg 'less dere's a knife t' y' throat, or y' royally screwed up, or it's jes' dat time of month." Remy said, sitting down on a milk crate. This would occupy most of his mental facilities he was sure. Like trying to teach Lance when not use a pun, or trying to teach Pietro humility.  
  
Todd looked at Remy, astonished. Was this guy who'd threatened to kill him actually going to teach him how to make Wanda want him back? "You're gonna help me?"   
  
***  
  
Check me out!  
  
REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	14. Suaveness Lessons from the Master Aka: A...

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Ish-Poor Ish got no time. But you left a lenghty review all the same. Thanks Ish! *big hug* Isn't Remy a doll? I have android remys already. I'm still working on the genetics for a remy clone. But the minute I do. . . okay, the moninng after the minute I do, I will suppy all the RABID girls, and all our fellow fan girls. An army of Remy clones? *drool*   
  
Miranda-Thanks for the hug girl. Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks beb.  
  
Darkdragon-(who's playing catch up) Bless you beb. I'm really glad you're getting a kick out of me. Not quite Pyro reproducing, but pretty good, no? Ah, the poor short lived story *sniff* And it died! *cry* Maybe I can fix it. . . *evil grin*  
  
***  
  
Remy ignored the question, assuming it was rhetorical. "Rule number two: bathe."  
  
Todd held his head up a little higher, trying to look more respectable. This would be harder than he thought. "I take a shower every Saturday now, whether I need it or not."  
  
Remy once again chhose to ignore Todd. If e kept it up maybe he'd actually get tot e more important stuff. Like how to undo a really bad first impression. This would take more time than he'd thought. But hey, if Wanda started liking Todd, then Mystique would have to put up with them. Which would keep her busy. "Rule number three: _NO_ pet names. Dis goes f'r anyt'in' y' plan doin' with any goth girl ever."  
  
"Hey, you call Ro gue, uh, somethin'."  
  
Remy couldn't ignore this one. It threw him for a loop. A part of him was glad that Todd hadn't attempted to speak Creole. It would have killed Remy to hear a language butchered the way Todd was bound to. "How'd y' know dat?"  
  
"I heard Mystique ranting about you an' Rogue almost every night for the past two weeks yo. She's been training us, I mean actually training us since then too. It's kinda scary yo."  
  
"Figures." Remy rubbed his head where Raven had hit him witt he lamp. He never had been a big hit with parents. Usually the girls didn't last long enough to introduce him, but a couple of times he'd barely avoided being beaten to death by furious fathers. And a couple times by angry mothers.   
  
Todd saw an opening. He had to be able to make Wanda love him, and he would sink to any depths to make sure he could do it. "I'll keep Misty off your back if you promise to keep teacing me until Wanda agrees to go out with me."  
  
Remy didn't have to think about it. "Deal. Two ours a day, five days a week, during school hours until it's out, okay?" Todd nodded quickly. "Okay, now, de next time y' see Wanda, treat her like any other girl."  
  
"Hey, according to the blue bitch you have your hands all over Rogue the moment you two are alone." Todd pointed out, mad that the Cajun thought he was so hopeless he couldn't use the tricks Remy used.  
  
Remy looked at him. "Y' point? Rogue 'n' I have a lil' diffrent relationship from you 'n' Wanda. Rogue's tried t' kill me fewer times. Stop comparin' apples and hubcaps."  
  
Todd digested this information while Remy shoved him out next to Wanda. Maybe the lessons had to be taught practically, and Todd couldn't question Remy about him and Rogue. Remy was pretty sure that if given the right incentive, and Mystique had plenty of it, Todd would sell out his mother to save his ass. But maybe not Wanda. The boy seemed to have it pretty bad. But Remy didn't think about the fact he was giving thhe hopeless frogboy suave lessons to detere Rogue's mother so he could be alone with her. It never occured to him he might have it as bad or worse that Todd.  
  
Todd was busy concentrating on not being a geek. He walked mostly upright, after hopping a little to regain his balance. He smiled at Wanda, who rolled her eyes and went back to perusing the cheap jewelry. Todd walked over to her.  
  
"Hey b. . .Wanda."  
  
Wanda looked at Todd, not quite as annoyed as she had been earlier, and she was obviously a little surprised. "What do you want?" Definitly not as evil bitchy as it could have been. Todd smiled. He was definitly getting the better half of this transaction.  
  
"I. . .uh, just wanted to say hi. So, Hi!"  
  
Todd opped back to Remy, followed by Wanda's confused glare. He was extatic. He could have jumped to the moon. Wanda hadn't hexed him. She hadn't even called him a name. It was a good day to be Todd.  
  
***  
  
Look Ma! Two hands!  
  
REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	15. Mommy Madness

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Rogue LeBeau-Oh, don't worry, Mystique learning to be a mommy will eb covered in abundance. It'll be fun. Glad you're into this still! WOo!  
  
Ish-Remy clones are _very_ drool worthy. I have my evil minions working night and day to find a way to do it. Oh, hey, we've got antother RABID member. Darkdragon. We should welcome her, no? I'm thinking a cake. MAde from the fried bodies of the stupid t.v. station people with holding the end of the third season. Crunchy, no?  
  
Oh, who wouldn't call Todd grasshopper? Truth be told, I didn't think of that until I wrote the title for the chapter. C'est la vie. The laundry thing would be fun. But c'mon, it's Todd doing it. That would not turn out well for Remy's clothes. Beside he's got a lot of time to be evil to the frog boy. I'm happy to see him walk the line between King of Hearts and Scott Summers with his First Hard-On. It makes me laugh, and he would be in that sort of denial I think.   
  
Isn't Todd fun? I understand Toddfan better from writing him. Aww. I just wanna squeeze him until he begs for air. Isn't it weird how women seem to be half boa constrictor around cute things?   
  
Nothing to do but read fanfic? Woo! Sweet! I get my recomended dose of insanity (a balanced part of this author's psyche). That rocks! Yeah!  
  
Darkdragon-You wanna join RABID? Sure. We're a militant fangirl ring. It's me an' Ish right now, but we'll be glad to let you join. The password is *looks out the door, then locks it, and whispers* Kwijibo. I'm not sure it's spelled right, but that's it. Oh, and you have to get the tatoo. It's just 'RABID fangirl' where ever you care to put it. Mine's on my forehead. Glad to welcome you aboard beb!  
  
As for John's What! I just got the first chapter edited and re-posted. The spelling's better, and I put some more John stuff in the begining. Just so I don't bore the ones who've read from the begining. I love you guys.  
  
J-I don't mind if you have prank ideas. Cahnces are they're not happening to me. Have fun with them. :D Bobby and Jubilee? Hmm. Maybe. If not in this, perhaps a one shot. . .there you go giving _me_ ideas. MOre Scott and Jean torture? Probably. If not, definitly a one shot. ;) Blackmail is fun. I'm glad you think Rogue 'n' Remy are cute. Don't get caught in your pranks! Thanks for the heads up beb.  
  
Eileen-Glad to hear form you beb! And glad to know my AU self is getting reviews. You're forgiven,a dnglad to have you back beb! I didn't like to write them sad, but the insanity afterward made me feel better. I liked writing Todd and Wanda. You may see a one shot about them someday. I dunno. Glad to hear from you again beb!  
  
Riah Yaps-I dunno, Todd seems to be doing okay now. Remy _Should_ be a heartbreaker, but I think I broke the heartbreaker. I updated as soon as I read this. See?  
  
***  
  
Remy didn't get it. Wanda had dismissed him immediatly. Sure Rogue ad been mean to him at times, but not that bad. Remy was sure that Todd had finally lost his mind. And that a few lessons on oral hygene (ahem) would definilty be needed.  
  
"She didn't hex me, yo. This is cool. Isn't she beautiful?" Todd said, dreamily looking at his now slightly weirded out, but not annoyed, crush.  
  
"Yeah, she's gorgeous," Remy said offhandedly, trying to figure his student out. Until Todd practically pounced on him.  
  
"Haven't you got your own girl? Rogue'll be pissed of she hears you say that. And I _will_ tell her if you don't back off." Todd puffed up like a frog. Remy would have laughed if the boy weren't perched right above his diaphragm. And laughing would probably make Todd start jumping up and down on him, which wasn't good for anyone's ribcage.  
  
"Wrong time t' be jealous. Trust me, I like my women sane."  
  
Todd gave Remy a look as he hopped onto a nearby milk crate. Remy shrugged.  
  
"F'r de mos' part. Wanda's all your's. 'Sides, look at who her daddy is," Todd froze. He hadn't thought of that.  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Doan worry. SHe's sitll smart enough t' hide y' from Magsy. C'mon, if you'r gonna do this right, y' gotta learn t' control yourself."  
  
Remy started off toward a dumpster. He waved a hand in its direction, half Price is Right model, half evil genius with nuclear bomb drill. "Rule four: no eatin' bgs in fronta de girl. It's jes' gross."  
  
Todd looked downhearted and Rmey shuddered. [God I'm bored. Dat's so gross. I hope Rogue appreciates what I'm doin' f'r us. . . . Dieu, we're a 'us' now. How often has dat happpened?]  
  
----  
  
"Why are you helping me?" Mystique said suspiciously, stil trying to find the right car key. Logan calmly took the keys from her, and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the vehicle.  
  
"I just want to help the kids. If I have to help you in the process so be it."  
  
Mystique sighed. Before she'd had no problem being seperated form her children. They could only be a hinderance. But now that she knew them she saw that she'd given up on her daughter just before she got interresting, and her son was the best son anyone could ask for.   
  
Logan saw the sigh as a cue to move on. "The kids want to believe you're not evil deep down. That the fact they wouldn't try to kill someone means that you have some morals, stuff like that. Kurt more willing to forgive you than Rogue, but that shouldn't surprise you. If you know your kids at all. Which you probably don't." Logan said, trying to piss Mystique of enough for her to listen.  
  
"I've been trying to learn about Rogue, the one _I_ raised [mostly] since Irene told me Rogue would have such traumatic powers." Mystique said, looking resigned. For once how she looked was how she felt. And I don't mean to say that she was blue.  
  
Logan shook his head.  
  
"Guess we know Rogue didn't get her tenacity from you."  
  
Mystique glared at Logan. It was the same glare Rogue had given him a hundred times when he demanded more from the team in training. It was the 'I can kill you _so_ easily' glare.   
  
"Since when do _you_ know the secret to parenting? Last time I checked you have no children of your own. I should stay out of thier lives. Look at how Rogue turned out. I don't want _all_ of my children to be royally f'ed up."  
  
"Rogue's not such a bad kid. And every parent messes their kids up. You're just doing it wrong." Logan gauged Mystique reaction, or lack thereof and changed tactics. "You know, when Kurt and Rogue found out about you they imediatly started acting like brother and sister. Rogue even teases Kurt abotu who his father might be when there's nothing better to do. That was. . .interresting to say the least. Didn't know you 'n' Irene were that close."  
  
Mystique gave Logan a glare that was more poisonous than any he'd recieved from Rogue. "I hope she was more mature about it."  
  
"C'mon smurfette, let's get some place to sit down, I got a feelin' this'll take a while."  
  
***  
  
Life is what happens to you if you don't REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	16. Aaaaawwwwwoooooooo!

HEY All!  
  
I would normally respiond to reviews here, but I'm not feelign up to it. I can't be the usual loving and cheerful person I am. Too mad. Much sorryness on my part, extra long responses next time, I promise.  
  
***  
  
Rahne walked out of the hotel. She was holding her ears from the volume of Rogue's scream. Time to explore England Rahne Sinclair style. She popped in her Warren Zevon CD, and headed off for the city.  
  
'Werewolves of London' wasn't exacty applicable to her, but it was fun to sing along to. Which Rahne did with the kind of joy you only find in canines.  
  
"I saw a werewolf with a chinese menu in his hand,  
  
Walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain,"  
  
Rahne smiled up at the clear sky. Chinese sounded good actually. She headed off in the direction of the Golden Dragon.  
  
"He was lookin' f'r a place called Lee Ho Fook's,"  
  
A guy with a Green Day shirt smiled at Rahne, who grinned back.  
  
"Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein," Rahne threw her head back and mock howled.  
  
"Werewolves of London"  
  
Another mock howl, this time less obviously fake sounding burst out of Rahne's mouth.   
  
A group of girls were comparing purchases outside a novelty store. Rhane smiled wolfishly at the girls. The teenagers looked at the semi-pigtailed girl oddly.   
  
"If you hear him howling around your kitchen door,  
  
better not let him in"  
  
Rahne smiled at a guy with very nice hair. He looked at her like she was insane. Rahne stuck her tongue out at him. But even annoying good looking ugys couldn't keep her down. She was smiling two steps later.  
  
"little old lady got mutilated late last night,  
  
Werewolves of London again."  
  
Rahne threw er ead back, so into the song she howled with all her lupine ability. This sent a few people around her into confussion. One little boy went into histerics. Rahne came to her senses and started running away, easily losing the people loking at her oddly. She felt bad about scaring the small child, but decided just to be careful and try not to stand out too much.  
  
"He's a hairy handed gent"   
  
[Double meaning there.] Rahne grinned at her thoughts, making a self-conscious teenage boy hope he hadn't forgotten some hygene thing, like wiping his mouth, or maybe it was his braces she was laughing at.  
  
"Who ran amok in Kent,  
  
Lately he's been over hear in Mayfair."  
  
Rahne passed a Rent-to-Own like store, showing news clip of pro-mutant press conferences in Scotland. She didn't pay any attention to it.  
  
"Better stay away from him,"  
  
A very nicely dressed business man appeared in front of Rahne. As she passed him she said, "He'll rip your lungs out, Jim,"  
  
The man told her to do obscene things with his anatomy. Rahne stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"I'd like to meet his tailor."  
  
Rahhne saw the chinese place. Overjoyed, because she was getting really hungry, Rahne ran in, and missed the chorus trying to decide on what to get to eat.  
  
She ordered wonton soup, and sat in the eat-in booths, smiling, just because she couldn't do anything else  
  
"I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen,  
  
Doin' the Werewolves of London.  
  
I saw Lan Chaney jr. walkin' with the Queen,"  
  
A boy, about Rahne's age walke dinto the chinese place. He walked intot eh dine in room, catching Rahne singing 'Werewolves of London.' He was wearing a t-shirt with a screen cap from an old werewolf movie on it, and carrying a copy of _White Fang_. He smiled at her, a wide grin that almost matched her own. Rahne continued singing. "Doin' the werewolves of London."  
  
The boy's msile only got wider as he responded. "I saw a werewolf drinkin' a pina colada at Trader Vic's, his hair was perfect."  
  
The boy took the booth behind Rahne and they simultaneously howled and sang "Werewolves of London." They started laughing. It was so bad they couldn't finish the song. When the laughing fit had subsided Rahne turned around in her booth to talk to the boy.  
  
---  
  
REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther. 


	17. Dear Abby' Eat Your Heart Out

Hey All!  
  
I have review responses this time! Yeah for me!  
  
J-Ha! I collect bad jokes, no prob beb. He's a comic character, but I doubt he'll make it into the movies anytime soon. And beside that, he's basically just a name. Glad you took the time to review! Sorry it to so damned long. I'm not at the top of my game now.   
  
Riah Yaps-Not near enough people write about Rahne. I love her! She's rockin'. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.  
  
Eileen-Once again, listening to Come On Eileen. It's trippy. I'm once again my crazy chiperish self. Thanks for the spare happiness though. I could use it. All week double days for soccer. Bleagh. I'm just glad you're not allowed to use hands in soccer so I can type. I'm not getting up from this chair anytime soon. I think I'vet taken root. Heh, maybe I'll sprout something soon. Well, until I have hydrangeas growing out fo my ears, I'll remember about that spare happiness. Thanks for the review!  
  
Ish-Ya gave me nothin' ta work with! But I'll give it my best. *stretchs* I'm stiff. Soccer practice. The second one too. I'm not going to be walking anytime soon. I gotta get myself to the comic book store too. Ug.   
  
I'm glad you like the Rahne chapter. I think she has the coolest power of any of them. Her 'n' Pyro. And Storm, except she has to be clam to not bring a friggin' hurricane down around her ears.   
  
Hey, speakin' of cool, have you seen Pirates of the Carribean? A triumph for men in make up. Jooooooohhnnnnyyyyy Deeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppp. Too many 'p's. He was fun. And yummy. And he called Orlando Bloom a eunich. Much fun. Glad you reviewed! Oh, and if you wanna take a look at John's What! I've fixed the chapter three problem. Unless you already have. . .Well, it's probably about a week before I post this chapter so. . .Yeah. Thanks!  
  
***  
  
Roberto was cruising the local mall, looking for a hat that wouldn't make him look stupid. Well, he was actually in the food court, munching on chips (which turned out to be fries. Who knew?) He'd actually spent very little time hat shopping. He'd run into Tabitha and John, and they'd dragged him to the food court. He had been a little annoyed at first, wanting to burn a hole in Xavier's pocket and get a really cool hat, maybe one like the one Rogue had worn that one time before that concert (An: reference to my friend's fic. It was a pimp hat, but a femaleish looking one).  
  
Roberto looked at John warily. He was definitely the fire guy the older X-people had described to him. He looked kind of hot. It was summer, so John was in a plain white t-short under a satin-y red shirt with orage flames on it, and a pair of cargo khakies, which were held at his waist (AN: where pants should be, dammit!) by a leather belt with silver studs in it. Not that Roberto was looking of course.  
  
"What are you doing with him Tabby? I kow you're into the bad boys, but. . ."  
  
Tabitha cut him off witha slutty smirk. Roberot raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "On second thought, don't tell me."  
  
John winked at the perturbed south american boy. "'Cmon, you gotta see _some_thing you like here." John motioned between himself and Tabitha.  
  
Roberto never meant to smile at John like that. It was a physical freudian slip. Tabitha, of course, pounced on it like a starved feral cat on a wounded. . .hell, anything (AN: Feral cats are a breed of their own).  
  
"Oh! You two would be so cute!" Tabitha squealed. John smiled at Roberto in a way that mimiced his own betraing facial expression. Roberto wanted to melt into the floor.  
  
***  
  
Kurt was actually enjoying the breeze that being hairless was affording him. Now that he'd taken care of his razor burn with some of Kitty's lotiony stuff (which made him smell kind of girl, but he didn't burn anymore., so he wasn't going to complain), Kurt was enjoying the reprieve from fur. He was running around London singing 'Eleanor Rigby' at the top of his lungs.  
  
That is until he ran into a fuming Mystique talking to an almost equally ticked off Logan in an outdoor restaurant. The happy freedom had been weirded straight out of him. Kurt knew Logan knew that he knew this conversation was happening. The other man made no sign that he'd noticed Kurt, but there was no way Logan couldn't know about Kurt's presence. Kurt sucked up his inhibitions, wished he'd stayed in, adn went over to Logan and Mystique's table.  
  
"Hello, Heir Logan. I was wondering-"  
  
Logan would have smiled if he were anyone but the . . .hmmm. There is no thing for Canadans. There are Italion Stalions, Ragin' Cajuns, and a buncha others, but no Canadian things. Nothing rhymes. Hmmm. Wait, this isn't the place for that thought. Sorry.  
  
Logan would have smiled at Kurt, had he been any other teacher. As it was, he lightened his frown and grunted, "Good. Sit."  
  
Kurt sat, not at all likeing his position. In between Logan, scary enough, and Mystique. This was definitly not his day. He silently berated himself for getting out of bed at all, and wondered why this couldn't happen to Kitty or Jean occasionally.   
  
***  
  
Okay. Rule number. . .whatever. Never, ever even joke about singin' 'Every Breath you Take.' I did that once, almost foun' m'self incapable of fatherin' children. It's about a stalker. An' if Rogue almos' immasculated me, I doan' wan' t' think about Wanda would do t' you right now."  
  
Remy had sort of somehow gotten to all of his near mistakes. Todd was taking notes, and asking questions. The older man looked at Todd and felt a migrane coming on. It wasn't just the slightly annoying things he'd ask, but the smell the toad-boy was exuding was horrible. But it was getting better.  
  
Todd had new clothes. Or at least clean, hole-free (AN: boo) clothes. Todd was also chewing enough Big Red to make even the most avid cinnamon lover swear of the wonderful spice forever. But Todd was still Todd. New packaging, same hopeless dork. Hopelessly in love, and hopeless in general.  
  
'This stuff is tough. Well, most of it anway." Todd said, trying to get Remy back on some semblance of topic. This was stuff Todd wasn't nearly smooth enough to even think about it yet. But he was getting there. Like a glacier carving Great Lakes.  
  
"But Wanda was nice to me, yo," Todd smiled at the memory of her not hexing him into something for looking at her. Then he frowned, remembering what Remy had told him, in a round about way, about his date with Rogue. "Well, nice for Wanda."  
  
"See, y' makin' progress. Trust me, no woman, especially a slightly sadistic got' who's just a little over de edge will ever come 'round in one day." ['Less y' suddenly turn int' me.] Remy silently added with a smirk. He was trying to ignore the headache that was coming in like a storm. So, the focus was on how damn good he'd have to be to instruct the froggy one in the ways of the smooth talking ladies' man.  
  
Todd was lost in his own thoughts. "Yeah, I know. Hey, can we take a break, yo? My writin' hand's kinda tired." To illustrate his point, Todd held up his right hand and shook it, as if tryign to revive it.  
  
Remy was seriously considering thanking Todd for the suggestion. But Todd would take it the wrong way, so Remy pretended to think, while in his head he was counting how long he should look like he was thinking. "Let's call it a day. Y' got de basics. Which are. . ?"  
  
Todd put his pad away and concentrated for a second. "Bathe, leave the flies alone until she leaves the room, never bring up blood, vampires, or anyhting like that if I ever want to sleep without having screaming nightmares again. And if worse comes to worse, an' I can't get her in a room alone with me, put in. . ." Todd stopped to think. Remy looked at him eagerly, praying he would get it on his own, so they could both be on their way.  
  
"Oh yeah, any movie made off an Anne Rice novel." Todd said triumphantly. Remy smiled and inwardly sighed with relief.  
  
"Good. I'll be seein' y' here tomorrow, right?"  
  
Todd nodded happily. Almost as an afterthought, and because he was curious to know, Todd asked, "Are things really going that well with you and Rogue?"  
  
Remy's huricane headache had finally hit. It was like being in the ring with an invisible boxer. So, he said whatever came out of his mouth, not even bothering to look over his shoulder. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."  
  
Todd couldn't help what came out of his mouth next.  
  
"Um, she been having mommy troubles?"  
  
Remy turned on the younger man and had him pinned against the nearby wall so fast if Todd hadn't been practiaclly spot welded to the bricks he would have lost his balance.  
  
"I fin' out y' had anyt'in' t' do wit' Mystique's bein' at de hotel dis mornin' an' I'll-"  
  
Todd tried to weasle his way out of the stronger man's grip. Instead he almost choked himself on his shirt collar. Todd finally manged to eek out, "Ijustnoticedshewasn'tinthehotelthismorningdon'tkillmeplease!"  
  
Remy shook his head, putting his headahce off again. He let the other boy down and looked apologetic. "Sorry. It's jes'. . .nothin'."  
  
Todd wondered if his teacher was dangerously bipolar, and why he never got to see the manically happy side of all this. Since staying quiet wasn't in Todd's bag of survival tricks, he tried to make his new found mentor feel better.  
  
"It's okay. . .um, well, no, but. . .I get frustrated too sometimes."  
  
Remy looked at his student, like he'd never seen him before. Todd got worried and hopped away. Not fast enough to provoke the already edgy Acadian (AN:Doesn't that sound like a rock band? Edgy Acadians? Hmmm), but faster than he would normally leave a fly infested alley.   
  
Remy didn't want Todd to leave thinking that the next lesson would end in his untimely demise. And there was just enough time for one last peice of advice. "Hey Todd. Y' a good person. Show Wanda dat side of you."  
  
Remy set off for the hotel. He was going to sleep like the dead. He felt he deserved it.  
  
***  
  
Rogue was still crapped out on her bed when someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was Ororo or Jean trying to make her feel better, Rogue remained silent.   
  
A maid walked into the room, followed by her cart. Upon seeing Rogue on her bed, the maid almost ducked back out. But something stopped her. The maid, who, might I add, was a very hot and sexy woman, looked closely at Rogue.  
  
"Hey! You're the one that was asleep with the guy in the lobby when the crazy woman cracked him in the head with a lamp."  
  
Rogue gave the other woman a very evil look. The other woman, however, wasn't looking at Rogue, but the bathroom supply cupboard. "You two make such a cute couple."  
  
This was unusual. Any other female Rogue had encountered had been insanely jelaouse of her for having such an amazingly hot guy.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
The maid stuck her head back out of the bathroom, holding a toilet brush. "Oh, I'm sorry. The hair. . .makes you stick out. So, if you don't mind my asking, he concussed? Have amnesia? In a coma?"  
  
Rogue shook her head. This was kind of like someone trying out a plot for a soap opera.  
  
"No, nothin' like that. Mah. . .best friend thinks he's satan incarnate an' tried ta kill him. But he's okay."  
  
The woman put down the toilet brush and walked back into the room, picking up things and aranging them neatly.  
  
"So you left him alone? Go after him."  
  
Rogue was almost stunned at the woman's presumptiousness, but a nagging thing int he back of her head pointed out that she hadn't heard from Remy in a while, and Mystique could have done a hundred things to him by now.  
  
With a confused look on her face, Rogue left her room. The maid finished the room, and neatly put an envelope marked 'Tips' on the dresser. It also had a caligraphed seven on the front. For the fail-safe advice the maid knew she'd get something.  
  
***  
  
Next chapter, the mommy issues are semi-resolved. And someone gets beaked.  
  
Good bye to Rosie, the queen of Corona, see you, me, and Julio REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	18. Insert witty chapter name here

Hey all!  
  
Reviews!  
  
Seven-Glad to hear from you. I like to think lots of sweet things always happen in my fics. *wink* What evil can Mystique do? I mean, she's only got he BoM to do her bidding. Maybe she can irritate the palace guards by trying to kidnap teh Queen or whatever.  
  
Glad you like your avatar. I was very excited to write that part. It's really fun. I suspect you will get a slightly curbed tip, because of what happens now that she's left her room, but you will be tipped, I'll make sure of it! I figured that in my world, since we're almost running reverse of each other, you'd try to make them happy instead of strong. Let's howl together. AWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You know, two pwople have reviewee to say they're suspicious of you. Which intrigues me. Hmmm. Maybe I can work with that.  
  
No prob beb. But if feel you must. . .I don't mind scrubbing a toilet or two. *wink*  
  
Eileen-Your parents are great. You told me before, but it's still fun to hear about. Also, I don't thin the maid has ulteriot motives. Maybe. Who knows? I've mae you think of me while you're doing other things agian! Woo! GO me go me.   
  
Maybe Remy won't have a headache by the end of this chapter. Who can say? *grin* Glad to hear from you.  
  
Sphinx Chic-Can Pyro be bi? I have to have him flirting with 'Berto to set up for the end of this fic's last bti of Scott torture. And I figured the boy didn't get as much type time as others, so what the smeg, let him be gay. And, well, who else would Roberto be into? Scott, but he's taken. I promise Pyro will not let 'Berto monopolize him at all.  
  
Every breath you take is creepy, and Interview withthe Vampire is good. I figured Wanda would wathc any movie based on an Anne Rice novel to either enjoy it or point out how much shit it is. Pirates or the Carribean was great. MMmmm.   
  
Glad you like Rahne and Doug, and they maeka nother appearance! I'm proud of the maid. I think she's fun. Can I kee p teh grownies if he's bi? Thanks for cathcign up with us beb! Welcome aboard!  
  
Ish-I forgive your last review. I want Will's hat. That was a rockin' hat. Much love to Bloom for it. I think he looks better as Will than Legolas. I really like Jack's hair though. I'm trying to get mine to do that. It's not working.  
  
I tried to give you guys a cool rhyming name, but I'm o good at it. Poor canadians. *hugs Canada*   
  
Three Peice Sluts? Hmmm. Now that my rock band has a name. . . That is great!   
  
My room caught on fire, justso ya know. A lava lamp just burst into flames. It was crazyness. I put the fire out with my pillows, but now they're all burnt. Bleagh.  
  
Chaotic Boredom- I believe I used Acadian right. Canucks. I forgot about that one. Sorry my updates were non-exhistant. I was lazy. You're not the only one suspicous of the maid. Hmmm. I'll have to keep that in mind.   
  
Yumiko-Here's your fluff. Enjoy!  
  
***  
  
Remy arrived at the hotel just in time to see the oddest procesion anyone would ever witness. Mystique was leaning against the doorway of a conferenece room, Kurt figiting by her side, Logan smoking on the outskirts of the clump of people gathered to gawk. Headed toward the doorway was Jean, followed by Ororo, and a levitating Rogue. She was scowling and had her arms crossed. She didn't see Remy, and before he could think to ask what was going on, which would be after he was sure he'd stopped laughing completely, Rogue's entire deranged family, plus Logan were shut in the conference room, and the others had settled outside the room in the lobby or left.  
  
Rogue scowled at the door for a second, wishing she had Scott's powers to break the door down. . .or kill Logan for putting Jean up to this.  
  
Kurt looked none too happy either. He had taken a seat next to Mystique, because Logan growled anytime he tried to sit elsewhere. All the formerly fuzzy man wanted to do was bamf up to his room and continue dislikeing Mystique in peace.  
  
Logan motioned to the seat on Mystique's other side. "Sit Stripes."  
  
Rogue shook her head and sat on the floor. "Not on your life Logan."  
  
Logan sighed and got up, making his way over to the perturbed southern girl. Before Logan got a chance to grab her and seat her himself she got up and sat next to Mystique, muttering about 'Stupid Canucks' and life in general.  
  
Logan let it go and grabbed his chair again.  
  
"Now we're gonna all sit here until you three can get along without anyone else getting killed or decieved in the process, okay? There's too much shit going on without you three adding to it. Smurfette, yo start. Tell us why."  
  
Mystique glared at Logan, giving the men a good look at where Rogue learned her acidic stares. "Why what?" She asked, wishing fevrently that she could turn into a cobra and kill Wolverine without further alienating her children.  
  
Rogue broke this line of thought, slouched grumpily in her chair. "Why yo' a psychopathic bitch would be a good place ta start." Roogue continued looking angry and bored.  
  
Kurt actually came to Mystique's defence, but only because Logan had promised that none of them would see the light of day until they could all get along. "So are you, mein swester. You're more like Mystique than you admitt." Kurt ducked under the table after he said it, avoiding being beaned when Rogue threw a water glass at him.   
  
Rogue dived under the table after her brother. Mystique slid her chair back and watched Rogue pin Kurt. Kurt retaliated by tickling her with his tail, giving him an opening to pin her, right under Logan's feet. Logan reached down and pulled Kurt out of Rogue's reach and set the blue boy down next to him, leaving Rogue glaring at him under the table. Eventually both teens sat down again.  
  
"Well, that was unexpected." Mystique said vaguely.  
  
Rogue was still pouting. "Ah'm nothin' like her. She just uses people ta get ahead. Ah would nevah do that."  
  
"Myabe not," Kurt soothed, "but let's hear what Mystique has to say for herself. If only so we can say she got the benefit of the doubt before we decided to hate her for the rest of our lives."  
  
Rogue glared atKurt, but finally rolled her eyes and sluched down even more. "_Fahne_." She drawled, bracing herself for whatever load of crap Mystique was going to feed her.  
  
Mystique decided to just dive in. Since convincing Rogue would be the hardest part, the shape shifter started there. "I never meant to use you Rogue. I just wanted to be near to you again. I missed being your mother for the six years I was gone. And has Xavier helped you control your powers anymore than I have? NO."  
  
Logan cleared his throat. Raven gave him a slightly condescending look. "Of course, no corrupting my own children." Her voice dripped dislike, but was soon back to her almost pleading tone from earlier. "I thought I would be the best person for you to turn to. . ."  
  
***  
  
". . .And that is why I'm, as you put it Rogue, a psychopathic bitch." Mystique finished. Kurt and Rogue sat, looking at her, unable to believe what they'd just heard.  
  
"Wow. . .I didn't know. . ." Kurt started, but decided to just let it go.  
  
"Ah feel like a bitch now." Rogue muttered, not feeling quite as angry at Raven.  
  
Ororo, whom Logan had asked to fill in for him after he realized that the whole meeting would be Mystique talking, handed Raven a drink. Not asking what it was, Raven finished it in one drikng. Raven doubted Ororo would poison her, and if the alcohol _were_ tampered with, the children would have to testify against the weather goddess.  
  
Ororo sat back down, and looked at the students. "What would you two like to say?" Ororo secretly wondered if Raven was merely trying to get them to leave the X-men, but wouldn't say anyhting like that until she had proof.  
  
Rogue tentativly got up and shook Raven's hand. "Ah can't fo'give ya. Ya done too much to me. But Ah'll try ta forget." Rogue let go of her foster mother's hand. "Fo' now at least," she couldn't help but add.  
  
Raven was a little disappointed, but not surprised. Irene had told her Rogue was just like her in most ways. [Why must Irene always be right?] Realizing something needed to be said on her part, Raven nodded. "I understand. But you will accept the fact that I raised you and actually care about you?"  
  
Rogue thought for a minute, before also nodding. "Yeah. But only because if Ah disown you, Kurt 'n' me won't be siblin's anymore."  
  
Raven sighed. It would do. She turned to her son, who was looking akward. Finally he spoke. "You gave me, sort of, to my parents, and they gave me the best they could. I guess I can't hate you."  
  
Ororo smiled, outwardly, as Kurt learily hugged Raven. In actuality, while Ororo was happy the children would be less unhappy, she still did not quite trust Raven. Storm couldn't help but watch Raven while she hugged her son, to make sure the other woman would not hurt Kurt.  
  
After standing around feeling akward for a while, the four of them left the room to tell the others what was going on.  
  
Scott was sitting next to Jean, who was there in case Raven, or Rogue, got violent. Amara was keeping Amanda posted on the situation. The rest were else where.  
  
Raven noticed that her daughter's good for nothing boyfriend was suspiciously absent from the lobby. She put the information away for later use.  
  
Rogue also noticed Remy wasn't there, and, not being ovely social with any of the congregated mutants, rolled her eyes and made her way to the elevator. Kurt asked Amara for her phone and 'ported to his room, while Raven merely walked out of the lobby.  
  
***  
  
Rahne was having fun with Doug. They were chasing ducks. The ducks were not having fun. They were a little unhappy about their current position. Neither pre-teen thought on of the fowl would snap.  
  
But snap one did. A big white duck got fed up with the wolf girl and the boy chasing him around and bit the boy. Luckily he was wearing long pants.  
  
"Ag!" Doug jumped. Rahne stopped chasing the other waterfowl to make sure her new friend was okay. "I was beaked!"  
  
Rahne noticed the abrasion on his leg and laughed. Doug looked at it and started laughing too. It took them a while to calm down.  
  
When they did calm down Rahne noticed his bite was turning purplish. If she'd had any experience in the area, she'd have noticed it's resemblance to a hickey. She felt bad for laughing at him none the less. "Sorry. I would nae laugh at ye gettin' hurt, but that was. . ."  
  
"Stupid." Doug filled in.  
  
"No, funny." Rahne said, grinnign wolfishly, making Doug smile back. Their fun was interrupted when a near by clock started chiming the hour. Rahne's face fell.  
  
"Five aleady? I have to go Doug. I gave ye my e-mail address, use it." Doug promised he would and waved good bye to his new friend. Rahne waved back and hauled off to the hotel.  
  
***  
  
Remy awoke to someone knocking on his door. Grumbling something about padding the outside of his door so he could finally get some sleep, Remy opened the door.  
  
Rogue was a little embarrassed to be where she was. Her thoughts kept going back to the previous night. This was also making it hard for her not to smile.  
  
"'Lo chere. Glad t' see y' not still mad about life." He backed away from the doorway and motioned inside. Rogue walked in and hopped up on a dresser that was at waist height, instead of sitting on the bed.  
  
Rmey walked over to her, leaning on the dresser next to her. "Scared of me? I don't bite. 'Less you want me to." Remy smiled at her wickedly. Rogue laughed a little, glad to see he wasn't put off by her being there. Rmey couldn't help but add, "I t'ink you might bite though. But, 's long as y' doan draw blood, I doan see a problem."  
  
Remy stood in front of her now, and Rogue failed to notice her legs opening, just slightly, to allow him to move in closer. At least, she didn't notice until he'd done so. She would have crossed her legs, but didn't want to push Remy away to do it.  
  
Deciding that if she actually said something instead of sitting quietly while he started to do something stupid, he might avoid doing something stupid. But she couldn't blatantly say that she would knock him out. A subtle reminder was all she could get herself to give him.  
  
"Ah thought ya'd be a little upset about the othah night. Wouldn't want that ta happen again, wouldja?"  
  
Remy's hands were on her knees, which was distracting Rogue to no end. Noticing this, he slid them up her legs a little. Rogue grabbed his hands and held on to them. Remy leaned in farther, his hands pressed into her lap, still encased in her own hands. He whispered in her ear, keeping his hands still, much to Rouge's relief. And disappointment. "Y' thought wrong."  
  
Backing away from the very flustered Rogue, but only far enough to get a good looka ther face, Remy continued. "I think what I got was worth more than the price I paid to get it. And y' went out with me de next night. 'Scuse me if 'm not afraid."  
  
Rogue sighed. "That's stupid," she said, with very little conviction behind her voice. "Becasue a' me ya arent' gettin' any sleep, an' mah fostah mom belted ya in the head with a lamp. Not ta mention the evil stuff she'll do ta you if she finds out we're still goin' out-"  
  
Remy used Rogue's last vestige of logical thought to pull out what he'd been aquiring before Todd interrupted him. Shoplifting had seemed like a smaller offence than pick pocketing, so he'd done it to get his mind off the tourists. Not to mention if he'd been really paying attention he would have noticed the jewlery in more than a passing way.  
  
Rogue didn't have any warning. One minute her mouth was moving, the next it was being blocked by something. After a surprised second she realized that something was Remy's mouth. Covered in a piece of silk. She made a surprised noise before getting into the kiss. The kiss ended qucikly. Rogue was stunned.  
  
"Ah. . .that. . .Hell," were Rogue's well articulated thougths about what had happened. She was debating whether she should bolt for the door or not. She was sure Remy wouldn't stop her. Maybe he'd follow her, but not stop her.  
  
"Shhhh. You might be right. I may be crazy. But it jes' may be a lunatic y' lookin' for." Remy found himself saying. He inwardly winced and vowed to get some major sleep soon.  
  
"Ah hate that song." Rogue said, not altogether seriously. Remy laughed until Rogue pulled him down to kiss her again.  
  
***  
  
Next chapter, satan worship and the rumor mill.  
  
I wear my sunglasses at night so I can watch you REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	19. Satanic, and Sisterly, Intervention

Hey all!  
  
Reviews!  
  
Jean Ororo Rogue and Kurt-Thanks!  
  
Eileen-Glad to hear about you good sleep. I loved the last part too. It was time for some fluff, huh?  
  
Seven-Two reviews in row! You are giving soem more (don't worry about the sex pun, I thought of it almost immediatly too) So, you want another appearacen? Would you like to be an ever present extra? You can hang out with the sadistic punk girls. Done! Whamo!   
  
I thought Rogue's reactin was very real as well. I mean, I'd sure as hell be flumoxed for a second. But then I'd go back to snogging. It thought she reactd very well. If only your Rogue could do the same. Thanks for the multiple reviews. I was hoping you'd start giving soon. *Wink*  
  
Chaotic Boredom-You have memories like the duck thing. Poor girl. RABID will help with those chickens. Mmm. Fried chicken. Or Chicken 'n' rice. Mmmm. I got bored writing Mystique's speach, so I gave up on it. Glad you approve. Ooooh, thirty foot tall Hugh Jackman. Mmm. Peter is hot and shirtless too, so watch out for him when you see it. Thanks for the review!  
  
Yumico-Fluff begins the next chapter, I swear. Thanks for the review!  
  
***  
  
Jean was sitting in the nearby McDonalds talking to Kitty. Jean was trying to tell the valley girl how her room mate was loosening up, but wasn't wuite sure her message was getting across.  
  
"They were sleeping together in the lobby."  
  
Kitty's eyes widened and Jean _knew_ she'd gotten it wrong. Before the red head could rectify her mistake, Kitty was out of the restaurant and bolting toward the mall.  
  
The valley girl was so engrossed with the images of her roommate and Remy's torrid tryst she didn't notice Lance loitering in a generally scrub-like way by the food court. Kitty was too intent on getting to Amara and Tabitha, being unable to keep a secret to save her soul.  
  
Lance fo course followed his excited ex. Hell, it was better than standing alone and brooding, which had been his intenion for this trip to the mall. Maybe he could harras Kitty, which was how he'd gotten her to go out with him in the first place. Hey, he had a shot.  
  
Kitty spotted the group of her fellow x-men and John and rushed over.  
  
"Amara! Tabitha! You'll _never_ guess what happened last night!"  
  
Roberto and John, who had been subtly flirting (more one man than the other) continued uninhibited, although Roberto was listening intently, being a gossip hound.  
  
Kitty looked around, like there would be spies interested in Rogue's love life. Somehow she failed to notice the brotherhood boys in plain sight. None the less, she leaned in to the other women conspiratorily. "Rogue and Remy had sex! Jean told me about it."  
  
Tabitha held up her hands, grinning like the chesire cat. "Jean told you about Rogue and Remy's sex? Kinky."  
  
Lance scurried off, half afraid of being found out, half sickened. So of course he had to share his sickness with the others. John looked at the group of girls with both appreciation for the fine females in front of him, and curiosity. "I thought Rogue was the bitchy one with the stripes."  
  
"So did I," Roberto said, looking nothing short or other than disturbed. [Rogue had sex before me! How the hell? I mean, sure I'm a gay junior high student, but she's a freaky goth! Not fair.] The inner Roberto pouted. The outer Roberto slid his foot up John's leg.  
  
Unfortunatly Kitty saw the motion. She got the classic 'my friend has hooked up with a cute guy who compliments his features' look. "Awwww. You two would be so cute together."  
  
Roberto wished he could slide through the floor instead of her.  
  
---  
  
Lance was impaitently waiting for Fred to pick up his phone. The weighty Texan was taking a nap. After a few rings Fred tried to shut the alarm clock off, but knocked the phone off the hook by chance. Lance's voice came out almost immediatly.  
  
"Fred! Wake up! You gotta hear this! Remember all those times Rogue tried to kill Pietro for hitting on her? Well, someone finally melted the ice queen!"  
  
All Fred got out of it in his half asleep, really not giving a damn state was 'Kill Pietro'. Assuming the talkign fault line was brooding about Magneto's son, Fred just decided to agree with whatever was said.  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
"No, I'm serious. Rogue, Remy and Jean had three way sex!"  
  
This woke Fred right up. He quickly went through the classic male reaction (bear in mind I _am_ female and mean no harm wiht this playful jab at the male mind). Thta is, he imagined Rogue and Jean, no guy. Then Rogue, Jean, and him, no clothes. Then, the whole truth brought his happy fantasy to a quick and painful execution. The two women who were playing with him in his fantasy either wouldn't or couldn't touch him, quite possibly both.  
  
"Naw. Jean's not like that. And Rogue can't touch."  
  
Lance shrugged, but realized this was wasted, since he was talking on the phone. "Kitty said so."  
  
"Kitty's not very observant." Fred got out of bed and started getting dressd, knowing he wouldn't get back to sleep anythime soon. Not with these images in his head.  
  
"Jean sticks out like a straight drag queen at a skanky Spring break video filming!" Lance yelleda getting him quite a few odd looks. A few mothers scooted their children away form him, and a group of punk girls, including one in a maid outfit, probably on her lunch break, made disgusted faces at him and rolled their eyes.  
  
Fred wondered why he didn't just let Lance think Jena was pervy like that. Deciding that it was temporary insanity, Fred continued. "Only becasue of the red hair."   
  
Lance turned away from the punk girls, who were all talking abotu how men were nasty. . .except for one who licked her lips, showing off a spikey tounge ring. "How many people have long red hair?"  
  
"I dunno. Rogue's a goth, and she sould her soul's pinky to smack Pietro." Fred supplied, remebering hte beating well. Pietro had been black and blue for a week. It was the best week of their lives. At least their lives in the BoM.  
  
"Satanic intervention?" The spikey tounge ring punk was now pracitcally salivating at Lance. VEryf rigtened, he tried to scoot away form her without lookinglike he wsa doing so. The phone cord did not help. Eventually the maid hooked her friend's arm and shook her head.   
  
"Why not? More plausible than Jean taking off her chastisy belt." Fred was going throughteh mini-fridge, looking for somethign worth eating.  
  
"Good point." Lance gave a grateful look at the maid, who gave him a smile. He paused for a second, overwhelmed by her hot and sexyness. She rolled her eyes and went back to talking to her friends. [So much for that.]  
  
The Spikey punk noticed her friend's complete indifference to LAnce, and teh fact that she was absorbed in a discusion with someone, loking away from Lance. With a sugary evil smile, the tounge ring punk snuck up on her prey. Not as cute as the guy from the day before, but grungy guys were usually good kissers. They had to have _Some_thing going for them. (AN: Grungy guys, along with greasy leather peirced guys are a main diversion. But hey, not everyone is like that.)  
  
"Oh man. Todd's with Remy. If he's been having sex by satanic intervention-"  
  
LAnce saw the punk tryignt o sneak up on him. "Fred, I gotta go. BYe!" Lance ran away from the food court, leaving the spikey tonge ring punk to pout in his general direction. The other girls laughed, and went on their punky way.  
  
---  
  
Fred sat down on the bed, dialing the cell phone Todd had 'borrowed' from Pietro before they came to London. He also opened a container fo sea food salad and beagn munching happily at his pre-dinner.  
  
Todd answered the phone, thinkign fred was callignto check on his progress. The frog boy had called Fred first, since he was Todd's best friend. Todd was sitting on a bench next to the river and catching flies and other bugs when Fred called. Wanda was nearby reading under a tree, oblivious of Todd. Which was why he was eating instead of wooingehr. He'd been told very clearly to never approacha woman holding a book, especially a hard cover one.  
  
"What's up, yo?"  
  
Fred swallowed a bite of cabbage and crab stuff. "Rogue got laid last night."  
  
Todd was disturbed. "Why you tellin' me, yo? Not my business."  
  
"She sold her soul to have sex with Remy. You gotta wach out for him. DOn't know if he sold his too or not."  
  
"WHAT! ROgue sold her soul!"  
  
Wanda looked up from ehr book. She saw Todd staring increduously, and then the words hit her. Rogue sold her soul. . .they only thought that because of the whole goth thing. Very angry at having been indirectly stereotyped, Wanda stormed over to Todd.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Todd looked up at his angry and unrequied love.  
  
"Uh. . .um. . .uh. . ."  
  
Wanda grabbed the phone and yelled at Fred for a god five minutes about how goth does not equal sastan worshipper, and by the way, wicca is not satan worship. Oh, and vampire books aren't satanic. . .you get the idea.  
  
Fred had put teh phone down until Wnada stopped ventign so he could eat in peace. Once she had stopped yelling, he picked the phone back up.  
  
"Rogue sold her soul. Not becasue she's a goth or reads Anne Rice, but because she wanted to have sex with Remy. I wasn't being stupid, or immature, and I wouldn't have said she sold her soul unless eveything pointed that way. Beside, not like it matters to you, right?"  
  
Wanda stopped raging intrhe face of cool ogic. "Oh. Yes, of course." [he doesn't know she's my sister. When did Fred get so smart?] "Good bye."  
  
Wanda handed the phone back to Todd and hiked off toward the hotel Rogue was staying in, needing to have a talk wiht her darling sister.  
  
***  
  
Next, more kissing, more gossip, and no racing stripes.  
  
Ninety nine red REVIEWS!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	20. How Many Cameos can I Squeeze In?

Hey all!  
  
Since I'm being bad about updates, I'm giving you a bit of good news prematurely. I had planned for an author's note at the end but. . .  
  
I told you this was going to be the last Sous. I lied. Unintentionally, of course. I already have the next one written out. Yeah. And I'm starting on a sixth one. WHY WON'T IT DIE! I swear, this fic is like the Jean Grey of my stories. Hmm. Wonder which one is the Scott. Hmmmm. Any ideas anyone?  
  
Reviews!  
  
Ish-No craziness? Awww. I'm glad you liked my skanky drag queen reference. No time to give you the long review response I'd like to. School's killing me. Bleagh.  
  
Seven-Yeah. The entire point of the first fic (well, beside the Romy) was to establish Rogue, Pietro, Kurt, and Wanda as sibs. I just didn't need to meniton it again until now. On another note, have you ever had one of those stories that won't die? I think the Sous (it's a noun now. Sheesh) has become one of them. I tried to end it, but the damn thing won't comply. And it's getting raunchier. I'm scared. Next I'll be writing full out smut, and I'm afraid of the plot devices I'll sink to in order to do it. I may have her magically able to touhc him, and that would scare me. I'd have to shoot myself. And I'd have to buy a gun, which I don't have the money for. *sigh*  
  
Soul selling is a littel romantic. . .but no, I've already got my plot device ready for the next fic. Mwhahahahahaha! Anyway, I just put you in where ever I can. You're going to end up in America some how. Hmmm. Who cares how? Maybe you'll get to talk again, I'm not sure. We'll see. Anyway, thanks for the review!  
  
Jean etc.-Glad you like it!  
  
Eileen-You can work in Satanic intrevention, can't you? I'm sure. I mean, c'mon, he's everywhere. He'd need to equal out god, so the devil is everywhere and can read us just as much as God. Weird what you can imply if you think the wrong way. *grin* But anyway. . .sorry for the late update. I'm too lazy for my own good.  
  
Yumi_k_o-Sorry beb. I wasn't thinking straight. . .there's fluff (sorta, in the beginning) so you'll feel loved. Thanks for the review!  
  
Ev1ta-Short and sweet. Thanks for the review!  
  
Chaos-You had to wait that long? Well, my brother's the devil, so I get pretty quick service. Heh. He's got my soul, and my first born child. But hey, I gave Bill Gates AIDS, so I'm okay with it. I hope by now you've seen X2. Thanks for the review!  
  
Sphinx chick-Awww. Would you like to flirt with Pyro a bit? I can even have him kiss you. . .but beyond that isn't gonna work. Band camp? Cool. My friend's in band, and she had some really evil ideas ewhen she got back. In fact, the start of the sixth sous came from a band camp plot bunny.  
  
***  
  
Rogue was still on Remy's dresser. Remy was in between her legs, practically pressing up against her (AN: dirty minds!). They were still kissing. Rogue's hands were running over his chest and shoulders. Remy's hands were pulling Rogue closer to him. He'd become something like human quicksand (AN: so many jokes *clamps mouth shut*).  
  
That is until Ororo knocked on the door. Rogue broke the kiss and motioned toward the distraction. She looked pretty vexed about this interuption. Remy wasn't too pleased himself. He grumbled about the door on his way to answer it.  
  
Ororo looked in on the mildly disheveled Rogue and Remy. "I believe you two should come down to the pool. And straighten yourselves up a bit before hand." Her voice was neutral, but you could almost hear a twinge of amusment in her voice.  
  
Rogue sighed and slid off of Remy's dresser. Remy watched this like a cat watches his master open a cat of Whiskas. He would have licked his lips and rubbed up against her leg, but he knew Rogue would definitly kill him for that. They weren't that close. Yet.  
  
With these mildly amusing thoughts running through his head, Remy headed off to the pool room with Rogue, who was nervous about being punished for her pranks. Even if they had deserved it. She knew she wouldn't say she was sorry, that was damn sure.  
  
---  
  
The pool room had somehow been emptied of all non-mutants in the hotel; beside a rather familliar maid in the corner, talking to a couple of life guards, one with a distinct Canadian accent, the other causing random chaos where ever she could, both were talking about RABID (AN: Woot to my fan girls! And the sexy maid).   
  
The X-men were all in the pool room as well, and not all dressed for swimming, which no one was doing. They were talking instead. Oh boy were they talking.  
  
The sound reminded Rogue of those Discovery specials about bees, where they'd have the buzzing always in the background, slowly engraining it in your ears, so a few minutes later you're sure you can still hear the buzzing. It was that annoying when it was man made, as the three late-comers discovered. The noise continued, but Rogue and Remy started picking up bits of the conversation.  
  
"I hear they had an orgy on the roof of the hotel! Jean t.k.ed that flock of punk girls we saw earlier up there."  
  
"I thought they were on top of Big Ben, and Rogue tied Remy to the hour hand before just going at him!"  
  
"They had about fifty other people up there, why would Rogue go with just Remy?"  
  
Rogue grabbed the closest gossiper. It was Sam, who was merely listening. He didn't really care, but hey, it beat watching the news with Hank. He took one look at the angry goth glaring holes through him and silently prayed. Mostly for a quick death.  
  
"What tha hell?" Rogue practically growled, making Sam wish he'd just stayed in Kentucky. Jamie broke Rogue grip and looked reproachfuly at the goth.  
  
"Rogue, are they tellin' the truth?"  
  
"No Jamie. Ah didn't have an orgy with Jean an' Remy anywhere. An' definitly not with that pack a' skanky punk girls."  
  
Remy shifted, slightly guiltily behind her. No one noticed but a rather interrested Jamie clone near the back.  
  
"No. I mean, are you and Remy really. . .you know. . .um. . .gonna-have-a-kid-and-leave-me-alone-with-no-older-kids-to-talk-to?"  
  
Rogue shook her head, still mad as hell. However, Jamie had distracted enough that Sam writed out of grip. Which was fortunate for him, as Wanda chose the second after he got free to burst into the pool room, furious.  
  
"ROGUE! You have soiled the name of goths everywhere. WE ARE NTO ALL SATAN WORSHIPERS!"  
  
Rogue took a little time out of being mad as all get out to be utterly confused.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL TO F*** THAT BARELY LITERATE WANNABE FRENCH HICK!"  
  
Remy had been mildly amused, and very irked at the gossip before. The satanic intervention rumor had been fun for about two seconds. But this was too much for even him to take. Time to stand up for his own honor.  
  
"I am not stupid! I finished high school, I can speak in, an' read, two languages fluently; 'n' I'll bet you doan know shit abou' half de stuff I been doin' since I was four. So y' can piss off."  
  
Wanda utterly ignored him. But she ignored him in such a way that he knew, if she felt like it, she would rip hhis lungs out for telling her to piss off, should te need present itself. He secretly hoped it would. Then he could fight her and actually gfet to do soemthing with his anger instead of packing it all inside because she was female and therefore, due to his deeply engrained chivalraic code, only to be attacked when it was in self-defense. He secretly wished he was at the institute so he would have soemthing to hit that he wouldn't have to pay for.  
  
Rogue, however, was utterly floored. Not just mad, although she was, but utterly shocked. Not by Remy's reading ability. She knew what a smart guy eh really was, once you got past the one track mind and sexual innuendo so thick you had to have jack hammer (AN: my phalic symbol of choice). How would Wanda first of all even know about her and Remy?  
  
"How the hell did ya. . .AGH! Mystique has no room ta talk when it comes ta not havin' sex! Good Lord, she even did Sabretooth, an' Ah doubt his momma could look at him fo' too long."  
  
"Actually," a very icy voice from one of the Jamies piped up. "I was extremely drunk. Adnd Sabretooth had better hygene then."   
  
The Jamie morphed into Mystique, which greatly relieved all the X-men present.  
  
"Ah didn't have sex with him!" Rogue yelled, really REALLY not liking where this was headed.  
  
"Of course not. He was probably off having sex with a maid-"  
  
"Actually," yet another voice from the back piped up. this one belong to. . .yep, you guessed it, the hot sexy maid. "The maid staff is primarily male. And straight. Or ugly. And we get fired if we mess with the guests."  
  
Mystique gave her an evil stare. The life guards, who were also very sexy, but in a cool, 'I can kick your arse without smudging my eyeliner' kind of way, stepped in front of the maid, obviously protecting her. Mystique rolled her eyes and let it drop.  
  
Rogue looked over at the familiar maid. She made a note to give her a _large_ tip.  
  
Mystique turned to her errant daughter. "Rogue-"  
  
Hank chose that moment to burst in. "Oh, What are. . .never mind. I think all of you should come watch this press conference with me."  
  
So, after a little balking, and many evil looks between Remy and Wanda, they trouped to the conference room. Everyone. Even Mystique and Wanda, who oibviously had nothing better to do anyway.  
  
The professor was on t.v. He was being grilled by reporters, in front of a public crowd, about mutant rights.  
  
"Mr. Xavier, how do you know mutants aren't dangerous? We have clips of them, in your own city, destroying a building, among other things, like stealing a grenade."  
  
The professor leaned forward to the microphone on his mini-podium. "I believe that, like all things, mutant powers can be used for rigth or wrong. Hating these people will make the choice to do wrong much easier to make. The thing they are fighting is called a sentinel, and it would have destroyed them, had they not protected themselves."  
  
"There is speculation that you are trying to treat mutants. Especially ones with incredibly destructive powers. Why?"  
  
"Ordinary psycologists will not help them. Many of my paitents may very well have commited suicide with out my help."  
  
There was a loud snort from Rogue. It was largely ignored, except by Remy, who gave her smile that clearly said if he weren't so mad at her sister and mother he'd have laughed.  
  
"The time's almost up, so one more question, Mr. Xavier. Why choose to help mutants?"  
  
"I see in the struggle for mutant equality the civil rights struggle of the sixties, or the ban on Irish immigrants during the potato famine."  
  
"Or the former plight of homosexuals," Roberto muttered to no one but himself.  
  
"Thank you for the time gentelmen. Now my colleague, Dr. MacTaggert." Xavier announced, before wheeling off.  
  
This is when people stopped paying attention. Hank swiched the t.v. off while the room buzzed again. But this time sex was not the topic. For the first,a nd probably last, time.  
  
"No one tried to lynch him." Some one pointed out.  
  
"Wow, that went really well," another agreed.  
  
Raven looked over at Wanda and shrugged.  
  
"He's not such a bad old dreamer." Raven said, with a bit of disgust.  
  
Wanda looked thoughtful. Agreding with Mystique went agianst alls he stood for, but if she was right, just this once. . . "He's a liar, but everyone else seems not to notice." Wanda conceeded.  
  
Raven decided to go right for the point. "So, there anyway we can hate him, but still get benefits from his little speech?"  
  
"Blame our childhoods." Wanda said.  
  
Raven couldn't believe she was agreeing with one fourth of the most mesed up family, beside her own, she knew of. "Good idea. Chalk up a small victory and leave before we get invited to celebratory dinner." Raven agreed. Abd so both misadrogens left, without further mention of Rogue's make-believe indiscretions.  
  
***  
  
Yeah, this is never gonna end. Ah well. Review!  
  
I want youto want me, I need you to need me, I'm beggin' you to beg me, I'd love you to REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	21. One less Skeleton in the Closet

Hey all!  
  
I actually started on this right after I uploaded the last chapter. I think I should get an award.  
  
Reviews!  
  
Sphink Chick-I'm glad you've come to terms. He's not that gay, but you have fueled a plot bunny. The ultimate irony. I think he and Pietro have somethin' goin' on inh te cartoon. Just from the one where they're trying to find Apocalypse's tomb, and John's all hurt and Pietro's all over him. You area psycho, but I love you for it. I'm sorry for hte late upfdate, but this one was quick, no? I should get some points for that. Way to use Australianisms! FUnny can be a noun if you want.   
  
Eileen-You're not ion the Jamie/Sabretooth (Jamietooth) clique? *asp* I mean, it's like RoLO in comic verse! Actually, I think Jamie would have sex with Sabretooth before Ororo would do Logan. I just don't see her being into Logan like that. Sorry girls, get over it. This update was quick! Please forgive me!  
  
Seven-*pours* Here's another shot for ya girl. I should be cuttin' ya off, but hey, this ain't the kinda bar that's gonna stop you form gettin' your fix. And you're payin' your tab now, so we got no problems.   
  
If aI had to choose between messing around with Remy and keeping a crappy maid's job it wouldn't take me too long. ABout as long as it'd take to change out of my maid's uniform and run up to his room. But yeah, he's off limits to fangirl avatars. And if you wanted to kill the hot sexy maid I'd be forced to cut you off. Dunno how I'd do it. . . Anyway, I think Remy's probably had all the STDs that you can get over, and has an immunity. Hey, yano, even though we make him by far the skankiest X-man, he's absoloutly without illegitamate kids or vindictive girlfriends (minus Belladonna, if you deem to include her). Hmmm. ANd he is definitly not all talk.  
  
Streak 2-Thank you.  
  
Ev1ta-I'm glad you liked the line.  
  
Caliente-Isn't P.o.ed Rouge fun? I did notice I ick on Sammy a lot. I think it's because he's from vaguely where I live, and has the most stereotypical past. I mean, a Kentucky coal miner's son? C;mon. DOes his cousin/brother breed horses and live in a trailer too? I'd be nicer to him if Marvel seemed to put somethought into his character. He got screwed in the back story area. Maybe I should be nicer to him. . .  
  
Ish-I'm going to keep writing if this story series ends. I don't think I could stop, actually.   
  
Okay, Ish, I'm sorry, but if anyone, beside Rogue, has Remy rubbing against their leg, it's gonna be me. Then you, or Chaos. Then the other member of RABID, and then the highest bidder. But, alas, none of us will have him rubbing against our limbs. But hey, we get beers. RABID will slowly work its way into the mainstream, unitl we have those fools at Marvel cowering under our rule! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Ahem. Anyway. . .enjoy the chapter.  
  
Chaos-I'm glad I've inspired this track and field event. I like people who review as they read. *hugs Chaos* For this you get. . .beer! In the fic, of course. Pirates fot he Carribean was good, and X2 lost points for the Rogue/Bobby stuff, and lack of Gambit (beside his damn name). You got hit by a baseball? Must be playing it next door. Damn kids, can't keep their balls in their gloves. (Hee hee) Oh, baseballs for RABID business? We could do that. *evil look* Roberto has his reason for stcking up for homosexuals, though I doubt he'll get married anytime soon. He couldn't stand Canadian winters. Hell, I'm surprised he can stand New York winters, when I can't deal with Ohio winters. Loser solar powered guy. Anyway, enjoy!  
  
***  
  
The X-men were all crowded in the English version of Applebees. Almost everyone with a fake I.d., and a few who just looked older than they actually were, like Remy and John had mixed drinks. John was Roberto's date, though it was phrased differently, concealing Roberto in the closet a little longer. By the end of the night he would be shoved out, but that's later.  
  
Rogue was next to Remy, frequently drinking his alcohol. She was pretty sure it was a bad idea, but hey, why not? Remy grinned at her, not minding if she stopped thinking a little bit. Hey, it was a vacation after all. Time for things to loosen up (But no one'd told his pants).  
  
Rogue was being pretty quiet actually. She was sitting closer to him than Ray, who was on her other side. Remy wondered why she hadn't yelled at him at least once, since he was avidly discussing something that sounded a lot like the satanic intervention rumor.  
  
"S'matter, chere? Y' doan seem t' be celebratin' like de rest."  
  
Rogue looked at him, mildly surprised before grabbing his drink, again. "Ah'm celebratin', just not fo' the same reason as everyone else. Or in the same way. Ya sure ya don't mind me dirnkin' ya. . .whatevah this is?"  
  
"No, drink up. An' I know whacha mean 'bout havin' somet'in' else t' celebrate. De world's been a pretty alright place recently."  
  
"With short breaks ta be mad as hell at it."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
they sat in silence for a few minutes. Remy reclaimed his drink and finished it. They both looked at their largely ignored food. It wasn't really the food's fault they weren't interrested in it. They were just too busy getting drunk. Well, semi-tipsy at least. They knew Logan would stick them in the danger room for the rest of their lives if they got drunk.  
  
Finally Remy decided to say soemthing. "Tol' y' I'd be good f'r y'."  
  
Rogue shook her head, picking at her french fries. "Nah. We'ah the worst fo' each othah. We just don't know it 'cause we'ah masochists."  
  
Remy grinned down at her. Rogue was trying to ignore the fact that Ray had stolen way too much alcohol from Tabitha, and was leaning a little too close to her for comfort. Remy gently shoved Ray over, so that he was instead leaning on a fully sober and mildly irked Sam (AN: I only pick on poor Sammy becasue I love him (well, pleutonic like at least)).  
  
"God bless masochism." Remy said, hoping that Rogue would be the only one to hear.  
  
And Rogue did hear. She laughed a little, and grinned. Unfortunatly Tabitha heard it too.  
  
"HA! So you _are_ a dominatrix! I'm taking that as an admission."  
  
Rogue smirked at the blonde. "Tabitha, Ah have mo' Ah'm not confessin' to than you have ta admitt to."  
  
Suddenly Kitty yelped and shoved her chair back. John, who was sitting next to her, looked at Roberto, who was across the table. Roberto's expression was 'Oh shit, Kitty's gonna kill me'. John smirked and grabbed a waitress, who happened to be walking past at that second. Her name tag said S.C.  
  
"Excuse me, love. Can I have a doggy bag to put my friend in when the enraged teeny bopper finishes with him?"  
  
The waitress smirked at him, blushing a little. "Sure thing. Will he need a large bag or small?"  
  
John's eyes widened and his grin got bigger. "I dunno, love. Haven't gotten that far yet."  
  
The waitress pouted a little. John leaned back, enjoying the attention. He knew Roberto's misaimed grope was for him, but this was almost as fun. And Roberto would probably still want to feel him up later. This waitress would only be there for a few minutes.  
  
Suddenly, a tallish girl with thick black glasses walked past the drooling waitress and stopped. She shook her head and grabbed the blushing girl's arm.  
  
"C'mon Sphinx. This isn't your table. Flirt with your own customers."  
  
S.C. pouted, but went to take care of her tables. The quasi-goth chick looked over the table.  
  
"Don't ever work with obsessive fan girls."  
  
With that, the second waitress, whom everyone was sure they'd seen before, but couldn't decide where, went to serve the next table, which had the two life guards from the last chapter kicking back and drinking (Canadian) beer, while looking over blue prints marked 'Marvel Floorplan', and muttering conspiratorily. The waitress sat with them and pointed things out on the prints.  
  
Roberto watched all of this in horror. Well, all except the lifeguards' blueprints. Kitty ran to the bathroom, to freak out by herself. John saw his new 'friend' was about to loose his cool. And his place in the closet.  
  
"C'mon Roberto, love. Let's go for a walk."  
  
---  
  
Tabitha motioned toward Kitty's retreating form with her fork. "Behold, our next project, since hooking you two up worked so well. You in, Rogue?"  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Why not?"  
  
Remy shook his head. "Always somet'in' goin' on. Never a dull moment, or a second t' catch y' breath."  
  
Rogue looked at Remy quizically. She wondered what had brought this attack of semi-depression on. She couldn't think of a reason, but a cure was pretty obvious to her.  
  
"C'mon. Ah'm not very hungry, an' Ah doubt you are. We'll find ourselves some space ta breathe."  
  
Remy inwardly smirked. His ploy was playing out perfectly. Now, if they could actually find a place to be alone this would be even better than the lingere he'd put in her bag. Just thinking about that made him want a private place.  
  
Rogue walked to Logan and told him they were going out. Logan gave her the keys to the teacher's car, and reminded her of the curfew. Rogue nodded, while Remy entertained the image of her perched on his hips, nude, moaning, begging him for more. Even more entertaining was imagining giving her more.  
  
Rogue elbowed Remy, who had gone semi-catatonic.  
  
"Ah sho' hope ya imagin' me right now, else Ah'm gonna get real mad."  
  
Remy discreetly tried to wrap his coat around himself as they made their way out of the restaurant.  
  
---  
  
The teachers had aparently been listening to Queen's greatest hits on the way to the restaurant. The song playing was 'You're My Best Friend'. Both southerners fought hard not to sing. They were looking for quiet after all.  
  
Finally Rogue pulled into the park. Remy thought, briefly, that he'd been really smart to enlist Todd to keep Raven occupied. Then his mind went back to Rogue. It didn't help that he knew _exactly_ what she looked like sans clothes. The thought that he really shouldn't crossed his mind, but got a lead pipe to the base of the skull from his libido.  
  
They were looking for a place to sit when a motorcycle roared into the parking lot. John was driving it, with Roberto behind him, holding on for dear life. Rogue awwed and grinned at Roberto before turning her thoughts back to Remy. What she wouldn't give to be able to do whatever he was imagining right that second. Hell, she'd settle for just sharing the same bed as him, without sex, if she knew he wouldn't wind up in a coma because of it.  
  
Instead of parking on the nearest bench, the pondering couple continued walking, subconsciously happy to be with someone, but consciously wanting to do more than they could.   
  
Roberto and JOhn sent of on the path going to opposite way. Roberto was thankful to have found someone as hot as John (no pun intended), who wanted to have sex with him. There wasn't all that much emotion behind it, but hey, they'd just met a day ago. If it had been Lance instead of John, they would still be getting to know each other. Roberto preferred just getting right down to the sex. He was just so desperate for action. Hell, even Sam had sex before him. Sam of all people!  
  
Rogue was broken out of her 'borrowed' sexual fantasy (you guessed it, one of Remy's), to look around bewilderdly. A four peice band was in a gazeebo next to the path. They were playing a showtune by the sound of it. Rogue fought hard to refrain from singing.  
  
"'Scuse me," Remy said, having also been interrupted in his thoughts by the band's playing. The conductor, whho had a beard and ponytail turned to look at Remy.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why y' playin' showtunes in de park?"  
  
"We're practicing for pit crew."  
  
"Dollar. . .pound for the song?" a buff guy holding a trumpet asked.  
  
Rogue shook her head and they went on their way. The band began to play again, as from the oter side of the clearing a loud Australian accented voice sang, "I used to tell myself that I had everything. . ."  
  
Rogue finally got tired fo wandering. She motioned toward another clearing. Remy followed behind her. When they decided they weren't walking anymore, Remy took his trench coat off and sat on it, patting the fabric next to him. Rogue sat down, and got comfortable.  
  
"Y' been pretty quiet, chere."  
  
"Ah been thinkin'."  
  
"Really? 'Bout what?"  
  
"You."  
  
Remy nodded. "I been thinkin' 'bout you too."  
  
"Yeah, and probably the same way Ah was thinkin' too."  
  
Remy gave Rogue a semi-confused look. "Y' really t'ink so?" [Okay. Y' get de thinkin' question right, but now she wants t' know _what_ y' thinking. De truth, how much y' want t' rip her clothes off 'n' ravage her, is he wrong move. Why do women do this?]  
  
"Yeah. That kiss earlier. . .Ah want more."  
  
[Thank you merciful God. I can die happy now. Well, okay, I'd die even happier under other circumstances but . . .Death by foreplay. Wait, no, focus.]  
  
[Oh God. He's all quiet. What the hell? There ain't no way _Ah'm_ the forward one.]  
  
"I can give y' more."  
  
Rogue sighed. "Ah wish."  
  
"If ' really do. . ." Remy wrapped his hand around her waist (I promise this won't get graphic). Rogue pulled away.  
  
"Ah want more than just an orgasm. Ah want you." Rogue resisted the urge to motion with her hands. She knew he caught the implications, no need to be overly blunt (AN: I know I can find an innuendo to put here).  
  
"Tell me 'bout what you want. Exactly. In explicit detail."  
  
Rogue thought about this for a second. "Only if you do." [This should be fun. Ah wondah if anyone else just desctibes sex ta the person they wanna. . .save that thought for Remy.]  
  
"Deal."  
  
They spent the rest of the night sitting, eventually with Remy's arms around Rogue, talking about what they would do if they could touch.  
  
***  
  
I like my fluffness. Things start to wind down soon. Next chapter may be the last.  
  
I came in here for a special offer, guaranteed REVIEW!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	22. A Werewolf on the Roof

Hey all!  
  
Oka,y listen up. I'm done with the SOUS. For now at least. I'm takinga break, to get Future Shock out. At least to fix the firs tfour chapters sot eh story can continue again. I think I should finish it while I'm not doing anythign else. And this is teh only SOUS that wraps up nice and neat, so this si a good stopping point. Btu stick around for Future Shock. it's drama, but it's me.  
  
Reviews!  
  
Eileen-*bows* Thank you. I'm proud of that bit of writing. Glad you liked it too. I love my insta-fluff abilities.  
  
Yumiko-I'm proud to have disturbed you. *bows* Thank you.  
  
Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers-I love to hear about my weirdness from others. Thank you.  
  
Chaos-Pyromania is what keeps me sane. Well, that and klepto-nympho-bunchofother'o's mania. You have an underwear obsession? *makes thongs rain from the sky* Ray's tighty whities are classic schtickt. It is better to be loved, because then you get cameos no matter what. Marvel needs to die. htey said Rogue's real name! Bastards. Read Future Shock. Lots of ROmyness, and male whores!  
  
Sphinxy-*Big grin* I thought you'd like it. I'm a psycho, you just can't see it int his writing. You should chek out my stuff under 'Juliano'. I'm glad I've elicited such girliness. Happy to see you smile so much. Glad to hear I made your day better too. I'm happy to inspire giddiness of all sorts. Laughed at your post notes. Very funny. *big grin* And yeah, I'm tall-ish with thick black glasses. You'll see my picture when I storm Marvel with Ish and Chaos.  
  
Ish-Gold star? Yeah! *does happy dance* I love them! Chili is soooo good. I may write Remy bumping into you at some point in time. Will that sufice? Care to be a patron of the hotle in the next SOUS? Like a cameo in Future Shock? I'm glad I've acheived balance. It's hard to do when I'm inbalanced myself. Don't worry about being deep, I know you're all metaphysilogocal and such. *sigh* last chapter. I always feel sorta sad and sorta happy whe I get to this point. Crack! Yeah!  
  
***  
  
A week went by. Rogue and Remy continued exploring all aspects of their relationship. They even joking wondered if Satan was too busy to return their calls.  
  
But, as all good vacations must, this one ended. And all that was left was the packing up. And even that went quickly.  
  
Rogue sat next to her suitcase, the maid's tip envelope in hand. Since the pool debacle, the maid had made herself scarce, but left a condom under the pillow and a mint on top. Rogue hadn't quite decided if this was a joke gesture, or something the maid actually thought she'd need. Either way, Rogue wanted to thank the maid for her thoughtfulness.   
  
It was actually kind of creepy, but at the same time, the maid had never said she was too young, or that she should slow down or speed up. Just the presence of protection under the pillow, just in case. Rogue pulled out her wallet and looked in on the contents. A few one pound notes, a ten, and an american twenty. She shoved them all in the envelope. Hey, it was Xavier's money anyway.  
  
Rogue grabbed her bags and went to the lobby. Roberto, who was finally out of the closet, was sitting on the couch, macking with John. John was sitting next to Scott, who looked very disturbed. It may actually be more accurate to say John was sitting _on_ Scott.   
  
Scott looked helplessly at Jean, who found his perturbment to be entirely too amusing. Eventually she T.K.ed John onto Roberto's lap. Roberto promptly put his feet on Scott's lap, trapping him again.  
  
Kurt chose that moment to distract Jean by teleporting, with Amara's cell phone, to the bathroom, leaving a disgusted Nova Roman princess yelling about phone sex after him. So Jean decided to check it out.  
  
Rogue sat next to Remy, who had put his feet on the lobby couch they'd been lying on when Raven cracked him in the head with a lamp. He grinned at her after she shoved his feet away, plopping down next to him, closer than she'd sat to anyone else for a long time.  
  
Things were getting interresting for them. With Scott and Jean preoccupada, they were pretty much unsupervised. The adults were waiting at the airstrip for the Professor and their ride back to comparative sanity. Ororo was glad that this was the last time she'd be required to ride in a vehicle with the others for a while. Logan didn't want to see Roberto and John macking, and there was no way a genius was going to be left alone with the X-kids.  
  
Speaking of the X-men, they were using the parental figure free time (not always wisely, but hey, it's still a part of the vaction, even if it is the tail end). A few, like Rahne, used the opportunity to catch up on sleep. Remy used the opportunity to let Rogue grope him. She was good at it too. He was sure he could feel her trying to imagine how it would feel without gloves, how if would feel if her were under her, sweaty but still ready for whatever she had to give him. God he loved what his mind came up with while Rogue toyed with the hair on his happy trail.  
  
But the students weren't unsupervised for long. Eventually Jean walked back in, with a slightly lavender Kurt following her. Rogue's hand shot out from under Remy's shirt, almost buring him from the friction.  
  
After the students were given a fair chance to get into some semblance of supervision, the Professor, flanked by all the teachers, rolled into the room.  
  
"I do not think we shall be taking another vacation for a while. Rogue, I hope that the rumors saying you sacraficed a prostitute to Satan to have an orgy with the entire Brotherhood and Remy are false."  
  
The professor fed off the images that popped into people's minds. Especially good were the ones in Remy's mind. But there were a few really interresting ideas in Scott's imagination as well. The professor tucked the naughty thoughts away for later perusal, after he located some lubricant and some free time.  
  
Everyone was woken up. Bobby was put in charge of waking the others up. He tried to dump ice water on Rahne. But the girl had used her super-wolf senses (okay, she hadn't really been asleep), to avoid being drenched. She jumped up and ran out to the van, hopping up on top of it, out of harm's way. Bobby grinned up at her.  
  
(AN: I apologize for this. It was written after I played the part of Grandmother Tzeitel in Fiddler on the Roof, and it was still very stuck in my head. Once again, sorry!)  
  
"A werewolf on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But home, in our little town of Bayville, you might say wea re all werewolves on the roof. Each of us trying to scratch out a super villain's eyes without breaking our necks. Why do we stay up there? Free food and board. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: TRAINING!"  
  
Bobby had to hide from all the newbies coming after him for getting that song stuck (agian!) in their heads. Bobby got rid of the ice water by dumping it on Hank, who then chased him, as John and the professor talked.  
  
Soon all the children were herded into the vans. Logan and the professor watched the small riot.  
  
"You know Logan, I don't think we'll be taking another vacation anytime soon."  
  
Logan shrugged. "They're less tense, adn hey, only one acolyte left. Too bad it's the strongest one."  
  
The professor nodded. "But now we have to put up with him."  
  
"He'll be dead in a week if you let me whip him into shape."  
  
The professor shook his head. "I think perhaps next tiem you will be left at home to practice inhte danger room as much as you like."  
  
"Thanks Chuck. Wanna try and put up with the kids?"  
  
"No. Shall we?"  
  
Logan laughed and they left to get a ride to the air strip and make their way home.  
  
***  
  
Next up, Jean and Scott consumate their destined-to-be-togetherness. John and Piotr at the institute, and a new invention.  
  
Sometimes I feel I've got to REVIEW!  
  
Peace and (tainted) Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


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